2007-02-15 22:04:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Usually fighting and arguing in a marriage is not really about the thing you are fighting about at the time its about feelings that are held in about other things, but it comes out by constantly picking and fighting about little things instead. sometimes when people fight that soon in a marriage its because they are finding marriage to not be what they thought it would be. Marriage is a lot of work , its not easy or glamorous. If you two truly love each other, try to find out the real cause of the fighting and don't pick on little things, only argue about important issues.
2007-02-15 22:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by Miranda C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first year in a marriage can be filled with a lot of emotions. That you are arguing now can also be positive depending on how you use it. What I sense is that you guys are beginning to realise that you are two different people. Living together exposes a lot of things hiden in the sub-conscious. Make this time positive by:
1. Listening to each other
2. Avoid using abusive words, gestures
3. Communicating clearly. (Never assume anything. If you don't tell your partner what you need or what is wrong, he may not notice)
4. Spend time together outside the home. (This may rekindle your affection and remind you why you guys are together)
5. Before you argue about something, ask yourself if this would still be important in a year's time. Yes - Find an appropriate time to discuss; No - Forget it, life's to short for such.
Fighting (for love) helps create boundaries and bring about a greater understanding of you and your partner's flaws and advantages. The bond should progessively deepen if both partners are sincere in the relationship.
Good luck.
2007-02-16 06:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by Delta O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a married women I can say that marriage is a partnership and if the other person feels like they have to be on the defense there is a problem.
Instead of always trying to make your point known, just stop and listen to his. He won't always be right, and you can't listen if your mouth is open.
When you talk to him don't talk about the obviously negative things (for some reason when women talk all a man hears sometimes is nag-nag-nag), talk about good things and think about why you fell in love with this person.
Marriage involves two very imperfect people, but it can work if both people in the marriage TRY to be a good FORGIVER and FORGETTER. And if you really love this person its ok to say sorry or I was wrong to keep the peace.
Although this is not a popular belief or practice, I find that it helps my marriage.
2007-02-16 06:31:25 · answer #3 · answered by joyofjoys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you made a mistake in getting married. The first 6 months should be the best times of a marriage. You guys need to talk about divorce.
2007-02-16 08:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by insidehomerun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you fight before you were married also? You know, marriage takes work and the key is learning how to communicate effectively without fighting. I'd suggest logging onto the Dr. Phil site -- he has a lot of info. on there that would help you.
2007-02-16 06:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by GrnEyedBlondeSwede 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to be fighting with someone all the time.
If you or your husband are not happy then you need to look into your marriage to find out what is wrong. It maybe that something else is wrong outside of your marriage. Life is too short to not be happy everyday. Live today the best that you can.
2007-02-16 08:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by dave6035 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the heck did you get married for? fighting is usually not about the topic you are fighting about but something underlying;and usually more of a control issue...you want to be in control, he wants to be in control...if your marriage is to last you both will need to understand that you both can be right or both can be wrong, but you will have different oppinions and you'll have to learn to compromise; I gather you are fighting about the toothpaste ... get your own tube; if it's the way he folds towels, just be glad he helps; In the end, it's not what color you paint the walls, but that you did it together.
2007-02-16 07:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lesson: prepare for the marriage and not just the wedding.
anyway, that should have been way before 6 months ago.
try talking to a marriage counsellor. it could also be part of adjustment phase. because you love each other (you married each other, didn't you?), you both need to decide to resolve every conflict.try praying (God listens!)
2007-02-16 07:09:51 · answer #8 · answered by j_timberLate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you live with him before marrying?
Get some counseling. That's the only way to really find out if your fighting is "lovers' quarrel" or not and how to confront it.
2007-02-16 06:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by emiliosailez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, some people's marriage lasted only 2 months, so anyway u have been 6 months together, u saw it doesn't work, so it's time to break it up
2007-02-16 06:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋