how do i get my husbands attention. he never has time for me, but only for other people e.g. friends and famil

Question

... family... and i can see that he puts these on his priority list. I am considered very attractive, do many things for him and try to make his life as comfy as possible to no avail. what can i do to change this behaviour... cos I am losing myself

Answer 1

Stop doing everything that you are doing for him. do for yourself

Answer 2

It's not something that people like to hear, but you actually teach people how to treat you. So if your hubby is taking you for granted, it's because you've shown him that he can. If you're at the bottom of his list then you have put yourself there. So stop! You can't control someone else's actions, only your own but once you change yours it forces them to change theirs.

So don't do so much for him. Don't make it so easy for him. Don't always be there. Start doing things for yourself. Maybe you'll turn his head. Maybe he'll realize he's been neglecting you & have to try to win your attention (away from friends, family, hobbies, classes, etc etc that you have going on independent of him).

If you don't want to be a doormat then don't have "welcome" tattooed on your forehead. Don't let him walk all over you. You deserve better!

Never ever lose yourself to a man! It's not worth it. Be who you are, independent of him. Show him you don't need him. Teach him that you are a valuable person on your own. You are a beautiful woman why are you letting him take you for granted! He's lucky to have you! Maybe when you don't have time for him he'll miss you & realize what a jerk he's been.

Good luck!
:)

Answer 3

amp is RIGHT ON. I think it's common, especially when you are first married, to want to make your husband happy. You are at the point where you are realizing "what's in this for me"!! This happens a lot of time when you start having children and your life drastically changes and his doesn't. We have to change the ground rules at the beginning. Unfortunately we women don't realize it until we "lose our identities" and become "his wife". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being his wife, but we must also preserve our own self-esteem. He needs a wake-up call and "amp" has given you the how-to instruction. Good luck!

Answer 4

I was in the same situation -- did the same thing --- everything I could for him --- and he did everything he could for everyone else - it got to the point where I couldn't count on him and then I didn't trust him because his word meant nothing -- I don't mean didn't trust him with other women--- I just didn't trust him if he said he'd do something for me, or be somewhere I needed him to be, -- without trust there's no relationship. And on top of that, it also worked on my self-esteem -- wish I would have gotten rid of him sooner. That's the best suggestion I could give you. Believe me, I tried EVERYTHING!

Answer 5

Become his dream queen. Talk with him and tell him how you are feeling about this. He may feel that you do not love him or something like that. See if he is open to going to marriage counseling with you. Do not lose yourself hon if he is out then you make some new friends to hang out with and go shopping with.

Answer 6

I think that you should be first and then the family and friends.
Just ask him if he wants to be with you or not and tell him you want some of his time.
Tell him you like his attention.
Sometimes they do things that hurt and don't know it unless they are told.

Answer 7

Maybe loosing yourself is the problem. Maybe the person he married has disappeared behind a vail of "trying to please" and seeking attention. Be yourself, let him come to you. They say if you love something set it free........he will come round. But pull back and go with the flow.

Answer 8

Dump his sorry asss and find another. Good luck

Answer 9

you are making it too easy for him. he does what he does because he can. if he can't find the time for you find someone who wants to spend time with you as much as you do him.