How important is sex in marriage? and arguments occurring?

Question

if a female refuses and is always claiming they are tired or scared of the pain of sex, should the guy feel disapointed or should he accpet it for the best and put the wife first? beofre there used to be fore play etc but now the wife doesnt like "wet" kisses and feels sensative if i kiss her any where, she says shes "depressed all the time? could this have a big effect on sex drive? also its been 3 months since marridge, do all women want to be "right" i.e get annoyed if their husband misplaces things regularly and have an argument about it or are they understandin that they love their husband and appreciate the effort, i.e trying to help with washing up, laundry and other duties and be more responsible? LIFE WAS EASIER AT MOMZ LOLZZ, shed did everything for me :-( which i regret now or myself for not helping, its a big change cause im 22 yet but im willing to work hard and work with what iv chosen :-) !!

Answer 1

lol you're funny and sound like the every day newlywed man.
It's all normal, sir!
I went through this very same thing myself when I first got married!

If I were you, take her to a OBGYN and get her checked out because she could either be pregnant, have endometriosis, or cysts, or some other female problem that must be addressed.

Also, does she see her mother very often, and are her parents supportive of your marriage? If she doesn't see her mother often and they are supportive you should probably change that and make sure she gets to see mommy a little more. If her parents are NOT supportive, then she needs to distance herself from her mother A LOT (you'd have to move her away to do this). Don't go to your parents, especially your mom, cuz this will drive your wife NUTS!!
It totally ticked me off all the time whenever my husband would compare me to his MOMMY. Grow up already! My hubby learned not to do this cuz it hurt our marriage tremendously.

Also, how your mother did things and how your wife does things should never, ever be compared. Girls these days are more modernized and don't do the cooking and cleaning like the boys were raised seeing their mothers do. There's nothing wrong with this at all, you just have to help out. It's now 50/50 in that situation. And, your mother has turned her skills into art, your wife is BRAND NEW at it and it will take years and years of practice before she can "perfect" her art as housewife/wife/mother, whatever.

Give her compliments, ask her what she wants (sexually and in every other way), always ask how she's feeling and what she's thinking, thank her all the time for even the tiniest things she does, and romance her (don't smother her). Take her out on dates that she'd enjoy, or give her a foot massage, or a day out on the town with girlfriends.

If you need any more suggestions or support or whatever please feel free to email me, k?

good luck, bro!

Answer 2

Hi there, I got married when I was 21. Straightout of my mums house too! My husband is 10 years older than me and was very set in his ways and trying to find my place in the home was very difficult. I think in your case both of you are finding it hard to adjust to married life. Be patient and caring with your new wife and give her plenty of TLC (more you give the more you should get in return). I know even now if my husband is good to me I mirror him. Men always loose things and cannot remember where they have left things. My husband still drives me mad and thats been 11 years. He leaves something down and trys to look for it and 30 mins later still supposidly looking for it and then I try and find it straight away!! lol Try not to rise to the bate and just be patient while you and your new wife find your new ground in your relationship. Speaking calmly about your fears and concerns may help and you might find she is feeling the same way. If you both are in the same boat you'll paddle faster!

Answer 3

Because gay people are truly fighting for the law to recognize love... not just religious beliefs that so many people use as their argument.. A lot of heterosexual marriages end in divorce because they feel it's expected.. We want marriage because it needs to be recognized that anyone can love and create a nurturing family environment regardless of how it is built...

Answer 4

I think sex is important but i dont think it is the core of a marriage. It sounds like your wife is extrememly uptight, perhaps its not you that is causing her problems, maybe she is bottling something up and is taking it out on you. nobody is perfect, we all get under each others feet, i get annoyed at my husband when he tries to help and does something wrong or in a different way to me, but it doesnt stop me loving him or appreciating his help, its just me being pig-headed sometimes and wanting things to be done perfectly! I always hold my hand up though for being like this and make it up to him. have you tried a heart ot heart chat? You need to talk to each other, a new marriage should not be at this stage hun. Good luck xx

Answer 5

hmm its only been 3 months? k first off..have you 2 mated during that time already? if so...maybe she's pregnant & is instinctivly refusing cuz she's not in heat...i think its time for a doctor's call.

either that or maybe there's something wrong like she had some girly problem or something..also would need a doctor's POV...

other then that, sex is part of marriage yes..but not the main core of it...maybe she's still new at this & needs a little comfort...jsut ask her whats going on...

Answer 6

No one could tell you what should make you happy or disappointed. When you feel happy then you are happy and when you are disappointed then that is it. Lack of sexual desire could be an indication of many different things. You have to find if your partner is passing through a hard problem, like family, financial, health,... Try to encourage her to talk with you. May be you need counseling. Ask yourself whether you are treating her gently, in a romantic way. Are you talking to her and planning your future with her?

Answer 7

Sex isn't as important as intimacy in a marriage. I used to reject my ex-husband a lot and kept telling him that I felt down in the hope that he would actually take me and my unhappiness seriously (he never did). If you don't want to end up a divorcee then I strongly suggest you pay attention when she tells you she is depressed.

Answer 8

i am sorry but u 2 r heading for troubles
early age marriage could be a cause of it there is nothing seriously wrong in ur case but just a childish in experience approach is going to dent severely ur marriage be careful do not make tiny things to a big mighty problem

Answer 9

Your problem exists due to the fact that your sexual appetite is stronger than hers, which is quite common. Seek some counseling if you want the problem resolved.

Answer 10

Maybe she is just suffering from depression. Seek help, other than from Yahoo answers.