I love him.But for some reason I've always thought that he's been unfaithfull to me.He's never really given me a reason to think that he cheats on me but i feel that he is.What should i do?????
2007-02-15 20:37:09 · 34 answers · asked by married girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were dating for 2 years and then we got married.I've spoken to him but he just say's that's it's all in my head!!!
2007-02-15 20:47:57 · update #1
When i was younger i would always hear my mom saying that all men cheated i,think that what she would say about men stayed with me...
2007-02-15 20:54:22 · update #2
we didn't get married because i got pregnant.my mom was leaving the state and we didn't want to seperate!!!!
2007-02-15 21:00:47 · update #3
I don't want to sleep with other men .
2007-02-15 21:10:55 · update #4
Hello Cynthia,
What made you think he been unfaithful to you in the first place
If never he gave you that reason?
Has it happened before with other partner or husband before marriage, to have planted that seed in your head?
If before your husband with other boyfriend /s you can't blame or think that you can't trust no man.
Importantly your own husband.
Trust is a very important part of being with someone.
Married or not!
Without trust you have no relationship at all.
Just put yourself in his shoes- What if he didn't trust you for whatever?
Give the guy some credit, stop over worrying or I fear you may lose him or cause him to do the UN thinkable.
You are still newly weds you should be happy just for the fact is you both married in love, sole mates and best friend.
Act like it, just don't say it!
Good luck
2007-02-15 20:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a question...How long did you two know or date each other before marrying ? I'm asking because many will be walking down the isle to marry only 16 months or two years after first meeting or sharing first kiss. To me that is not enough time to invest in REALLY know a person to the point of committing to marriage then issues as you shared here come up.
You wrote " I love him, but . . ." That " but " says alot. Love is not enough in a relationship. A relationship takes trust, clear communication and responsibility.
" What should you do " as you asked . . . Begin having clear questions and communication and pay close attention to your intuition...A person's intuition of how to handle affairs of the heart generally does not lie. Listen to your intuition while sharing in your communications with him.
.
2007-02-15 20:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by onelight 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him, let him know this is a concern of yours. It sounds like it is coming from the opinion that men cheat.
Yes, there are men who are dog's that cheat. Just because some men cheat that does not mean your husband cheats. You need to let this go. Right now you are worried he might be cheating (with no evidence or past to suggest he is cheating).........so what good is it doing to allow this to bother you? You will go over this in your mind and make it worse and start seeing things that you assume prove he is cheating and drive yourself crazy not to mention damage your marriage!!! Now, if he is a dog and playing around on you there is nothing you can do to stop him or keep him from cheating on you. Unless you know....I mean KNOW he is cheating on you, just take a step back and relax.
2007-02-15 21:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by hiscinders 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask him directly. Ask him a question that refers to unfaithfulness but doesn't directly involve him.
For example:
"I saw my boss out with his secretary at the grocery store. Do you think they might be having an affair?"
Then sit back and pay close attention to his reaction. See if he acts guilty or gets uncomfortable. If he does, you want to do some snooping. If he doesn't, and gets interested, asking for details and such, he probably isn't.
The main thing is to bring the subject up without directly implicating him. If you do, most likely he would just deny it and try to change the subject or get mad at you for asking.
My wife frequently accused me of cheating. I certainly wasn't flattered about some of the women she said I slept with.
Believe it or not, I never cheated on her; but after awhile, I did start to imagine what it would be like to sleep with some of the women she brought up.
What I would ask you is, are you having thoughts about sleeping with someone other than your husband?
2007-02-15 21:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by TzodEarf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You realize you are both really young right? He's probably a year or two older .....If he's faithful you're very lucky...But if not he's being a young man....I'm not saying it's right...I'm saying a guy his age is supposed to be in college, hanging out with friends and dating.....
When early marriages come about it's usually because the girl is pregnant. here's another reason to not be messing around. If you play you pay.and your life at 18 is racing toward maturity that you have never been able to experience in the natural process of things.....
No doubt ,you would like to be out there with your girls !
Not home playing the part.....
if he's cheating, he;s cheating...and it should be expected , he's just a kid and so are you.........Good Luck....
2007-02-15 20:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by cesare214 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are many issues that you need to deal with if you are having these feelings, first of all, how long where you dating before you got married? you are so young, why did you get married so young? the feelings that you are having are ones that a person who is young and has great expectations of life would have. this is why people as young as you dont get married so fast. You have these feelings because you want to cheat and it would make it acceptable if he did first. then you wouldnt be the bad one....You got married to your first real love instead of sharing the carefree sex and irresponsibility of young love...Your feelings are a sign, get out of this marriage for your sake and if you love him, for his. chalk it up to inexpereince
2007-02-15 20:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
talk to him. i have such situations like this before.. except its a friendship, where i THINK i was drifting apart from my friend. at first we were really close then when i thought abt how awkard it could get, it soon became really awkard. its all in yur mind. dun think too much. will drive yurself crazy. also, try and be normal. try confinding in someone
really makes u feel better. helps u clear yur thoughts. (i know yur mind might be in a whirl right now)
2007-02-15 21:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are very young, and at this age all such thoughts disturb severely, no need to worry untill and unless you really get hold of a solid reason/evidence to think that way.
2007-02-15 20:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't accuse him. Ask him. COMMUNICATE.
Don't follow him, read his emails, check his phone, search his pockets or sniff his clothes. Ask him.
Don't get paranoid. Just talk to him, tell him about your fears, and then actually listen to his response. And I don't mean listening to the words, but listening to the meaning behind the words, or the tone of his voice.
I think you need to give him the credit and trust that he deserves. If you loved him enough to marry him so young, you must be able to trust him as well.
2007-02-15 20:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
before you start accusing him.. and mess up your marriage. analyze why you think like that. is it because your friends think that, are they being envious of your good marriage or the fact that you do not hang with them that much since you got married. Did your father cheat on your mom or did your mom date too many men that you subconsiously think that she is a cheat.. sometimes when a women starts thinking that her boyfriend might cheat.. it is because she might cheat herself. so the first think is to stop thinking like that. don't cheat on him. you have a whole life to live with each other. Just relax....
2007-02-15 20:44:12 · answer #10 · answered by bankone1111 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋