best friend just told me...?

Question

this is pretty serious. one of my closest friends (who is also my ex girlfriend) just told me a deep personal secret. she has never told anyone but told me tonight that at age 12 her and her best friend made a suicide pact, and her friend went through with it and bled to death... my friend blames herself for what happened and feels like she needs to "keep her promise." i told her i wanted her to talk to a professional buit she said she doesnt believe it will help, and shes really stubborn about that. what in the world do i do?

I have told her that killing herself would cause all the pain shes felt these last three years would jump onto me, but I feel like thats only a temporary fix. I want to help her get over the trauma. I dont know how - I live 150 miles away now, but still talk to her every day....

Answer 1

OMG! I am so sorry that u have had this put on you...You need to tell her parents and they will be thw strongest influence in her life. You can not keep this a secret.
A promise means nothing and she should learn to let go of it and live her life. If she keeps her "promise" her friend will still have died in vain and it won't make anything better or bring a positive change.
Convince her that there are people in the world that love her; ask her to meet the family to her fallen friend and have her witness first hand how much pain the senseless act of suicide has brought them and hopefully she feels that she can not place that pain on her family and friends.
She is not to blame for anything that has happened and she should speak to professional to harness her feelings...I feel that you should take that same advice as you may be feeling a lot of pressue about what it is that u know. Talk to someone and don't ever feel like you are to blame should anything happen to your friend. You reached out and tried, did your best and sometimes...life just happens...and doesn't.
If you need to talk reach out to someone close to you. Keep reaching out to your friend and hopefully she will finally hear you.

Answer 2

Remind her she was only 12 years old at the time and too young to realize what they were promising. She for sure needs to talk to a Professional about this before she does do something irreversable. Does she have a favorite Teacher or someone she looks up to and will talk to? There is obviously a Big Part of her that knows this is wrong or she would have done it when her friend did. Encourage her to talk to someone, and if she will not take that step then you do it for her, because if you don't and she does commit Suicide, you will always carry that guilt around.. good Luck

Answer 3

Serious, making a pack to commit suicide is a very desperate cry out for attention. At 12 yoa life has not had a opportunity to show her how great life is. We all encounter down & slow times in our life but life goes on. The guilt of suicide is like a chain reaction it can pass from one person to another.

Because she shared this with you she is confidence that you can help her to ovecome this dilema. She also needs to talk to love ones & professional therapist,pastor,teacher.

Let me share this, a middle class family was going thru a financial crisis & had come to terms to commit suicide.This was the father's answer, so he killed his wife & the 3 kids. The husband's family who took over the estate came across the portait in the living room that was worth $250,000.00 dollars. This would have taking care of the family's financial problems but the suicide father had no clue.

Keep the faith and encourage your friend to share her secrets with her love ones.

Answer 4

This sounds like a very difficult thing to figure out. The first thing that comes to mind is for YOU to go to someone who is experienced in Childhood trauma/suicide and get their advice on this matter. The people here on this site mean well but most/none of us are doctors. If someone such as a doctor can give you some tools to help your friend, she will be more inclined to get help just due to the fact that you took the time to see a doctor for her. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Don't keep it a secret. Tell a family member who is close to her that she can open up to about it. They can keep an eye on her and make sure she gets some kind of counseling.

Answer 6

I get the feeling that she's making up that story to get your attention. She might be testing you to see how much you care about her.

If you feel that this story is true, tell her family and force her into getting therapy.
Whether it's true or if she's making it up, she qualifies for some serious counciling from a psychiatrist.

Answer 7

your friend needs some serious help....she was just a child when she made this pact with her friend...she probably didn't think that they would actually go through with the suicide pact....that it was just a phase...she needs to seek help with a grief counselor

Answer 8

She needs to get help. If she does not listne then you need to say something before that pain kills her. She should never make promises like that cuz she feels like it her fault and then it get worse. You need to be smart and tell someone before it to late. Hurry!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

just be there for her and don't force her to go seek professional help cuz that would put loads of pressure on her and make her feel ten times worse just be there, comfort her when she needs you.

Answer 10

suicide is just wrong tell her shes too young to end her life.....and what her parents would do and how you cant live without her....try to console her and comfort her.....make her feel like she is needed on this planet and that you love her....something like that would make her think deeply about this issue..