My fiance has left me after 3 years of enguagment. He says he needs some space. I think he was getting cold feet. He still tells me he loves me and wants to be with me but not right now. It has been 3 weeks and nothing is getting better. Any ideas on how to get him back?
2007-02-15 18:17:01 · 19 answers · asked by lazerangel99 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes, give him space. if you are happy with yourself and your life he will want to be a part of it. dont wait for him to make you happy.
2007-02-15 18:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance also needed some space for awhile. I admit that we were still together, but we did put our engagement on hold for a time and slowed things down a bit. Why? Because we have both been married before, have children from our previous marriages, and there were issues pertaining to my abusive ex-husband who was being a pain in the butt. My fiance just needed some time to figure out what was important to him, and to figure out how he was going to handle situations as they came up pertaining to my ex. It took him about a month to sort these feelings out. He concluded that he can't live without me and he didn't want to throw away a wonderful relationship due to fear. Many guys just need to sort things out. Don't pressure or rush him. Don't wait around for him either. Let him see that he could lose you if he takes too long, yet whatever you do, do not pressure him. Let him figure out how important you are to him and what he has to lose if you are not part of his life. If you try to get him back before he is ready, you could push him farther away. Be patient a little while longer, if you can, and if it becomes a month, then a simple phone call asking for an idea of what his feelings are, is not unreasonable. Best wishes to you. I hope it works out for you.
2007-02-16 02:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u cant. He still cares about u but unfortunately he is falling out of love or is beginning to. so the best bet is to not chase him or call him give him the space u need it aswell and i think u need some time of your own to analyse what u want and not what u lust. If he has left u now because he isnt sure he wants to be with u for the rest of his life which is a long time very long. Are u really sure u want to pressure him or be with him for the rest of urs? Remember this is ur life in tango. So take a step back and rethink things out a little really look at ur future and im not talking thru rose coloured glasses i mean think of the reality and have patience he will come back to u if it was meant to be.
2007-02-16 02:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him! Right now hes at the bar f-ing anything with boobs. When he gets tired of that hes going to come back to you and f you because he knows you are wraped around his finger and waiting like a puppy dog. Imagine all the cooties he could pass on to you. Right now you need to show him who is boss. Start going on dates. Maybe date a friend of his so word gets back to him. You may not want to move on right now but if he sees that you are not going to wait arounf for him then maybe he will get smart. What if he does this while you are married, Needs some space, goes out for a few weeks and sees other ladies then comes back to you when hes bored. Will you take him back then? Just because you guys are not married now does not mean that you need to treat this situation any differently. HE LEFT YOU! you need to remember that. The guy that said he loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you LEFT YOU. Stand up for your self woman! You are strong and deserve so much better. Take some time off for yourself and then get back in the game and find some guy thats right for you and not a wimp. If he truly loved you he would have stayed but talked things through.
2007-02-16 02:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him what he wants. He wants space so let it be. You've been engaged for 3 long years...and did he ever mention to you any clues about getting married???
If not, I think your intuition is right, girl- he has gone cold so dont insist yourself on him.
You've given him your ALL for 3 years and I guess there's nothing more to prove to deserve a cold feet.
Move on. Find someone new. It's not yet the end of the world for you.
2007-02-16 04:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by LadyLuv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cant tell ya for sure how to get him back because I don't know what his reasoning is for sure , could be a couple different things . Do you think you are smothering him , are you demanding.
Has he maybe met someone else that he is showing interest in and does not want to break it off completely with you until he sees how that goes.
Make sure before you make a move to get him back you figure out exactly what the problem is ...MAYBE YOU DONT WANT HIOM BACK
2007-02-16 02:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by SE7EN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years of engagement is an awfully long time. It gives a person a lot of time to ask themselves, "Do I really want to do this?" The question has less to do with feelings than you might think. That's why he says he still loves you. If he does not come back, you never had him If he does come back, he will yours forever. It has to be his choice without any interference.
2007-02-16 02:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont marry him,he isnt ready
thats why he wants space,he doesnt have cold feet he got frost bite.
if he loved you and was ready to marry you he'd be sure
cold feet,normal
wanting a break before you get married is not normal
god's trying to tell you something
love should never be unsure.
do you really want to find out 5 years down the road that he really doesnt love you and wants a divorce when you couldve cut your losses when he showed you that he wasnt sure
2007-02-16 02:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, can't do anything about it---be glad you found out now--instead of getting married and having him walk out later. If he wants back, find out where he went---he might have had sex with a girl the was diseased---you don't need that. Sounds like he needs his space---he got it--move on and make a life of your own. No one said life was easy. Sorry, but good luck and have a nice life.
2007-02-16 02:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knows what he wants if he needs space than give it to him. IF you proceed with bugging him it will push him away even farther. If he is getting cold feet than you don't need him anyways he should know that he loves you and can't be without you in three years.
-L
2007-02-16 02:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, give him time. What are you doing for him that he doesn't feel that he is getting from you? It could also be that he is not ready for marriage with you.
I would consider before getting married, read these two books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".
2007-02-16 02:24:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋