Why are you people such angry haters here on yahoo answers?

Question

I am just trying to be realitic here with my two previous questions but I get nothing but sour advice from people who appear to have been burned in previous relationships.

So why is OK to be wild while single, but then its taboo when married.

If people weren't such hypocrites during marriage, maybe they would last longer and the divorce rate would not be so high.

Did you girls ever think about that?

In my previous questions all I suggested was to have a 3some with my hubby and another woman.

I guess as modern as society is today, people will always be closed minded.

And someone called me unclean... How dare you put a woman down just because I was open minded about sex when I was single. And I'm still open minded now. I know a lot of you girls out there have also had lots of previous lovers. So take a good look in the mirror before you start judging.

Answer 1

Look, you ask questions that many people find disturbing because the actions you describe go against their religious or moral codes - even though, and you are right, many of these people are hypocrites. The problem with asking such "touchy" questions is that there are a lot of immature, angry, jealous, hurt, and lonely people on here - so what you really need to do is ask yourself if what you want to do feels okay to you! As long as you think you and your husband will enjoy the experience, then who cares what others think! Enjoy YOUR life, and try to live it for you and those you love - not for some "virtual" group of people who don't know you. Take care.

Answer 2

I'm a little unclear on your question- does he WANT a threesome? If he does and that is something that you also want, I say research it , talk about it with your spouse, and then go for it. You can go to cosmopolitan magizine's website and go to the forums which have people who have actually experienced a threesome.. it might be a more appropriate place to find information about what you are looking for anyway. You should know by now that to post anything on here means opening yourself up to extremists of all kinds.

Why on earth would you think that your husband is being punished by only being with you? If you guys have a happy sex life, and he is satisfied with it, you can't ask for more than that.

Not all of the people who are answering your question are "haters". Your mentioning of him divorcing you to see other women makes it look like he is already trying to find sex from someone other than you- and in that case, as people are telling you that your marriage may already be on the rocks and that a threesome may make it worse. Some of them have experienced what it means to invite a third person into the bedroom and were not able to deal with the consequences- because, yes, there will be consequences. I don't know whether they will be good or bad for you, but obviously for them, they were negative.

I wish you luck!

Answer 3

Mai L-

This shouldn't surprise you. There is going to be some trolling/flaming when you ask this on a public internet forum.

More likely is that many people still consider a marriage to be between two persons, not three. They ask, perhaps in a juvenile fashion, why get married if you are going to allow him to have other women? What was the point in getting married? In some ways, this demeans the institution of marriage and the vows.

Personally, I think you are seeking validation. You want to hear that its ok. If you weren't, you would have never posted and simply sent your hubby to a hooker. I presume a hooker unless you want him wooing another woman.

Well, you don't need our permission. If you wish to allow your hubby to have intercourse...go ahead. Nothing we can do to stop you.

Maybe you should ask what some of the possible pitfalls of allowing a third woman in have brought to others on this site. (This is the real question you wish to ask I think and why you posted to begin with)

Answer 4

Well, I don't know about your previous ?'s, but let me give this one a try. This is how I feel about the wild when single thing: We call it many things but basically sewing your wild oats. It is expected that you have all of the " crazy" in you worked out by the " time you settle down". I know that is how it worked for me...night clubs, lots of drinking, one night stands, the works....all before I got married. Not to say that I don't know how to have a good time now, but my priorities have changed greatly. I would much rather have the stability of my life now, than the carefree style of my past. We are all expected to act a certain way after we tie the knot. Men and women alike while single can act anyway they please and have those actions justified by the fact that they are young and " getting it out of their systems" now. Take this example..a guy who is single or dating cheats on his g/f, drinks, stays out until all hours of the night, misses work etc, will have it justified by people saying " boys will be boys". Now the the same man, and have him married....see the expectations change....he is expected to " be in control and take care of his family....he can't do that if he is still displaying the previous behavior. I think it has a lot to do with how we mature more than anything else.

Answer 5

You want to bring some woman into your marriage..as a play toy for your husbands good behavior..his lack of sexual experience before his marriage to you..because you were wild while you were single..then that is between your husband and you..if you do not want to hear the answer to your question..then do not ask the question..in the first place..Yeah you are right if people were not hypocrites in their marriage..vowing one thing..then going against the vows they took...maybe the marriage.would last longer..maybe the divorce rate would not be so high..Maybe you should think about that..

Answer 6

If he likes it, what's stopping it from happening again. Would the reason not to do it again apply in not doing it in the beginning anyway. Let's say I'm your husband and found the other girl just feel a little tighter, wetter, and just better. Can I call her again? What if I decide to replace you with her? What's the point of threesome if being with her is better than being with you anyway?

Answer 7

There are haters everywhere. Whatever works for you and your husband is just great! Enjoy yourselves as much as you can. People love to hate anyone who is different than you are. I am older than the girls i date (all legal!!), and people love to point fingers and say what perverts we are. Why is it anyone Else's business what you do. I prefer to be faithful in my relationships but if sharing works for you then go for it! Actually I was hurt in a past relationship because my gf was a lying b**** but i still believe that whatever works for you is OK.

Answer 8

You are asking people to accept your values, when they are contrary to their own values. We can accept you for who you are as a person, but when you ask a question that is so obviously contrary to the way that many people believe, you have to expect that the responses you get will not always be to your liking. I have received many "thumbs down" in answers I have given for lots of questions, simply because those who rated me didn't agree with my values. We can have the freedom to disagree with a question or an answer, but the trick is to do it with respect. I, for one, answered your last question in what I thought was a clever way to express my own values and opinions as to the correct answer to your question. If my answer felt hateful or rude, then I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent for it to come across that way. I can't speak for the others who answered, but as for me, I apologize.

Answer 9

well i didn't see your first two questions but I will say that I don't necessarily think its "OK" to be wild when your single. That can get you STD's, illegitimate children, raped, death. I also think its wrong to be married and fool around. Hmmmmm....I guess I have some morals and values....no fun am i right?

Answer 10

Doesn't seem like you are looking for answers. Seems like your mind is already made up.

why marry in the first place then, lets all just live like animals; mating whenever, wherever and with whomever we want.