Is something wrong with me?

Question

i have this fear of fat girls, that i let my fear dictate what i says to female friends. i find myself constently passing fat jokes to girls who are not even close to fat. Im afraid that one of these days i will hurt someone. I dont know why, but this happens automatica

Answer 1

While I dislike telling someone something is wrong with them because I have no right to pass off judgement on anyone else - I must say that morally it is not a kind thing to do, and you may not even realize that you have already hurt someone's feelings but maybe they have not come to you with it because they feel you would not care.

The first step you've already taken in the right direction is by realizing you have an issue that you need to deal with. There is hope for a person who is willing to admit to their own faults.

You, obviously, have some sort of background that you probably don't even know is the reaosn you have the feelings you have. Something to do with childhood, the eating habits you had, listening to someone who was careless with their comments and jokes at the expenses of others could have left an impression of how human socialism takes place between two people without you even knowing this.

I suggest either talking with a psychologist/therapist/counselor, or maybe a physical trainer/dietician of sorts. One of them may be able to help you sort out this problem. I wouldn't say anything is "wrong" with you - I just think maybe you are having troubles properly socializing without offending or joking at the expense of others.

In most cases - a person who does make jokes about one's flaws (if that flaw does indeed exist) it can pinpoint their own fear of becoming that sort of person which in turn points out a real sense of insecurity &/or lack of self-esteem. Look into your past and think of those influences around you, young and old alike. Did you have many overweight people who were ill from their weight? Maybe one of them died from this and it left you angry? Did you have anyone around you who was a fitness/health nut and constantly criticised others themselves about their physical appearance and fitness? These can all influence you to socialize in the manner you do and be keys to changing how you do interact with other women.

I wish you luck in this -- sincerely. It is brave of you to come forth and ask for advice. I just hope those who chose to be ruthless and immature about replying to you realize that you could have been one of those people who never admits to being wrong and never gets a clue to potentially hurting someone else in a deep emotional way. Just ignore the immature responses and do your best to resolve this as quickly and as healthy as you can.

Answer 2

I sorta have the same problem, except that I seem to look down on girls who are fat and laugh at them inside...it's a problem I am trying to fix, but I think this one stems from the fact that I feel overweight; I'm not even close to manatee, but I have a bit of a stomach and the "baby fat" from my face will not go away...

Answer 3

i get fat jokes at me all the time. but then when i call myself fat, everyone just says that i'm chunky. so i think what u need to do to slightly waigh out of this state is start making different levels of fat people and then you go lighter on the chuncky people and then eventually all fat girls.

Answer 4

You've probably already hurt someone with your fat jokes. It makes you look like you're insecure about something. People look down on you being insulting..

Answer 5

You just need to grow up and measure your words especially if you don't want others to hurt you or a relative feelings.

Answer 6

You are being a jerk. Try to exersize just a little self control.

Answer 7

do u have a heart?....just curious coz ur mean

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with you. This is perfectly healthy.