So what's happening is that one of close girlfriends just started dating this man and I have to say, he is amazingly attractive. So what happened was that since they started going out and I am one of her best friends she told us to hang out some more so that we could get better acquainted. Well over time we got to get to know each other more and more. They have been dating for a couple months now and my situation is is that I am totally attracted to him. He is sweet, great looking, funny, etc. But then one day he wanted to talk to me about something really deep. And he ended up telling me how he has been confused with his sexual orientation. He knows that I am attracted to him and then he goes and tells me that he also feels the same way about me!
Ohh my gosh. I feel like I am betraying my friend. He does not want her to know and I do now know what to do. I am not doing anything with him though. And thay haven't been doing that well too.
Please tell me what you think? What to do?
2007-02-15 17:57:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It would still be cheating
2007-02-15 18:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit half and half. You say they aren't doing well, and he may be into you, but he could also be simply experimenting, and that could come back to bite you in the ***.
Not to mention the fact that there seems to be this unwritten rule against dating your friend's ex.
You aren't betraying your friend, you can't help the way you feel. One thing I would advise against doing is dating him or worse f****** him behind your friend's back, but you don't seem like that type of guy.
I would suggest you play the 'bestfriend' card. Just simply hang out, and wait. If they break up, I would suggest letting her get over him before dating 'Mr.Right'.
However, if he ends up making a move, I'm afraid you'd have to give him an ultimatim: You or Her. If he can't choose either, do NOT get into that. If he cheats on her, chances are he'll cheat on you too.
So...I guess...the only thing you can do, is wait and see what happens. Oh, and calm down. ^_^ Falling for someone is natural, and if she's really your friend, she'll understand.
2007-02-16 04:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love conquers all! If you both are feeling the same way toward each other, then you should do what comes naturally and fall in love. He must tell her. He must come clean and break up with the girlfriend...but that's for him to do, not you. Hopefully she's mature enough to understand the situation and realize she is not the most enduring object of biological attraction to the pseudo-boyfriend. If he wants to still be her girlfriend AND see you too, then you both can dump him together ... unless the idea of a menage-aux-troix is agreed by the three of you. Don't see him anymore behind her back though...that has got to stop!
2007-02-16 02:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by C-Bag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this friend means anything to you its not worth you loosing a friend. guys come and go all the time and unless you come clean with your friend and she gives you the OK then i would suggest you set your eyes on someone else or at least wait until she realizes they aren't meant to be and then maybe in the future you 2 can hook up. Now about him being confused about his sexuality, doesn't that turn you off? Just wondering!
2007-02-16 02:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by $TyLi$h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will find out, they always do. I've gotten caught cheating when I thought NOBODY would ever know. But they always find out! I don't know how! Maybe you shouldn't cheat in the first place, which is true, but sometimes it justs gets the better of you. So before you make that mistake and hurt your friend forever, just please keep her feelings in mind. I know that you have feelings for this man, and that is okay, but first let them sort their problems out, tell him he needs to decide what he is going to do first, and then go from there. If they break up, then it would be time to talk to your friend and ask her if she would mind. Explain to her everything, and hope that she is understanding. Then go for it! I hope everything works out.,
2007-02-16 02:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by TheOnly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a good position because you guys have not done anything. Any less she could see as betrayal. I don't like it that he does not want her to know. That is dishonest. The three of you need to sit down and be really honest. If he won't go along then you need to tell her all.
2007-02-16 02:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely when she finds out, and she will, odds are she will dump him. You have to decide which is more important to you; her friendship or him. Since he is confused about his sexual orientation, chances are nothing will come out of it for you except getting laid. Is that worth losing your friend over?
2007-02-16 02:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by tmills883 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to even confide in you the way he did,
says he has an extremely high opinion of you.
follow your heart.
in the dating game , unless there is a committment ,
people change and move around.
i say give him a chance,
tell him you agree ,
you won't be sorry.
just be genuine.
2007-02-16 02:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by john john 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
chicks before ***** man...
you ride together, you die together.
it sucks. I know. He's a major hottie. But if and when she finds out, not only will she be crushed that she may have turned him gay, but you will be the cause of their relationships demise. You can't do it bro
2007-02-16 03:50:56 · answer #9 · answered by Chipper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends come first! Way before a guy. Always be loyal and truthful to your friends.
2007-02-16 02:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by Simple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude...he knows you're attracted to him.. he admitted his attraction to you.
Respect him by keeping silent. Respect your friend by not interfering.
If he "comes on" to you respect yourself and politely back off.
Eventually truth will win.
2007-02-16 02:15:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋