Should I bring another person into the marriage just for fun?

Question

My husband has done so much for me over the years I feel like I should do something special for him.

Given that he has never been with another woman except me, I feel like I should give him a threesome or something wild like that. I would like it to be a fun and no strings attached encounter for him.

I can tell that the fact that he has never been with another woman is starting to get to him. Especially since I had my fun before I married him. I just think it would be selfish and hypocritical for me to deny him that kind of pleasure. Plus I don't want him going to the grave regretting that he never experienced all of what life has to offer.

Why should he be punished for being a good husband to me all these years? The way I see it, he has earned it.

And please no bible thumpers or stuff about sacred marriage vows.

I just think it would be stupid to divorce him so that he can be with other women. Even though this would be the "right" thing to do in the eyes of a lot of people

We enjoy a pretty good lifestyle. In the end it is the stuff that you don't do that you regret.

So, I don't want him regretting not being with anyone else.

Answer 1

It sounds like you love your husband and are grateful for all he's done for you. It sounds like you feel regretful that he hasn't had sexual expereience outside of being with you.

You may be making assumptions here. Has your husband ever directly told you that he wants a threesome or to be with another woman? Has he told you that he regrets not having had other sexual experiences with other people? Perhaps rather than asking strangers on Yahoo, you might ask your husband if he actually wants to have a threesome or another woman.

Is there a chance that you want a threesome? Do you feel insecure because he hasn't been with other women and you would rather participate in that than have him go out behind your back? How is having sex only with you punishment for being a good husband?

You and your husband get to decide what to allow in your marriage. Communicate well and consider your options and motives.

Kind regards

Answer 2

It's not that I'm against threesomes or even a husband tasting forbidden fruit. I might if I had the chance. Yet there's something odd about your approach to all of this. Why do I think that you are approaching this out of guilt.? Whether you have had, as you say, your fun before you married, I'd not be surprised if you aren't having a little extramarital fun as well, wherein lies the guilt. You'll certainly participate in your husband's "fun," making it perchance more your own. I think you present a spurious argument for your husband to enjoy only what you did before marriage. Do you want to end your marriage, does he? If he doesn't then he must be satisfied, and your orchestrating a lover for him might just boomerang and he would suddenly not be so satisfied with you or being a "good husband" while you fool around, if that is truly the case.

Answer 3

I am not some holy roller but come on you must be kidding. The fact that he may grow old and die without ever sleeping with anyone else is a bad thing? He obviously married you, both of you should be happy that he was clean when you married him, you werent, oh well. But you want to make him into some pig. what a great wife. Why dont you just get freaky with him. You have no idea what will happen after you have a threesome, your marriage wont last long after that, you will create a monster, and you will end up alone. you know what now that I think about it, you dont deserve him. So just let him go.

Answer 4

First, stop trying to ‘pretty this up’--or actually, maybe ‘stop trying to justify it’ is more accurate. Women don’t do things like this because they feel compelled to do something “special” for their husband or because they think it’s “selfish” to deny their husband this pleasure. The truth of the matter is that you want to do it because you think it’ll be fun for both of you. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with thinking that, but be woman enough to be honest about it.

It’s a common fantasy, but frankly some fantasies are met to remain fantasies.

I’ve known people who have done this. I’ve also seen relationships be destroyed over it. Even in cases where the people truly believed that they could handle it (because jealousy does rear its ugly head). Just be aware of the possible repercussions. The price you end up paying for this bit of ‘fun’ may be a very high one. And if that happens, here’s what you need to remember--you have only yourself to blame for it.

Answer 5

Well, this certainly ranks in the top ten of silly ideas---there is no rule about not having a lot of partners before marriage. maybe he was just smart enough to realize that disease and unwanted babies come from making love with just anybody. If he feels like he missed out on something, try being twice the woman in your own bedroom--a threesome??? I doubt if you can do it without somebody coming away mad or whatever--He is not punished, not suffering, and not in need of anything but YOU. The time it took to read this., you could have dragged him into the bedroom--now get going.....

Answer 6

I think that would be a foolish thing to do. You should never bring another to your marriage bed. I just think that it would be the first step in the downfall of your marriage. If you want to give him a "free pass" to be with someone else that would work but I would never recomend bringing someone into your marriage for a "one time thing". It will only lead to a disaster. Let him go out once... If that is what he want's to do. Remember, he may not even want someone else. If he does, you will have to work it out the way that suits the two of you but I would strongly recomend against bringing her to bed together. Good luck

Answer 7

Why put it out here if u dont really need our answers. Looks like u really have your answer but just needs validation.

HHhmmmmm! I am a bible thumber alright.
Ever heard of the expression " have your cake and eat it." I guess u should. So because u have already decided u might as well go ahead, but lets hope he doesnt get hooked with her and u regret.
U are blessed to have such a great husband

Answer 8

Girl, be careful only if you are the jealous type, because I have seen this a few times and people do it to spice up the relationship. It seems like a good idea at first but some people has to realize it is a fantasy. That's when emotions get involved and we dont want you to put that on yourself. Now, if you are not the jealous type and sit and think now that you will have no regrets.. and oh yeah will this be an one time thing? But, n e ways if it's like that GO FOR IT!

Answer 9

women cry left right and center for a man like yours and instead u want to turn him into a monster then in some few months u will ask for help here on Q and A ,,becareful!!!
why dont u have and adventure with him instead of getting someone to do it u urself said u had fun before him so do the things that u did again with him it doesnt take a 3rd party to satisfy a man

Answer 10

You understand what swinging is all about: helping your partner fulfill their sexual fantasies while you fulfill your own.

It sounds like you two are very solid and not the jealous type; you can separate sex in love with each other from recreational sex with others. There is no reason it would harm your relationship if this is the case. It's simply an extension of your already great sex life together and of your relationship.

For some really good, objective information about this subject, please check-out The Swingers Board. It is free and chock-full of usable information from those that have done it successfully, and how they do it.