How do you get through the loss of a parent? ...?

Question

Family can't easily discuss, friends avoid the subject ... books you can read, but not humanly relate ... there is no support to be found it seems! No self pity, just a realization that this part of life is something you must go through alone, and cope with ... alone. When I try to discuss with friends, they get upset about their own loss even years ago, and quickly change the subject. How do I discuss, when no one will let me? I could pay $100 an hour to talk with a psychologist, and then have them look at their watch and tell me "time's up" and leave with that cold feeling in your heart, emptier than when you went in. God is indeed there, and comforts. But as humans, we need each other. To tell someone "I care, now don't talk to me about it" leaves me sad, and feeling as if they don't care at all. So I wind up on the internet, face to face with 1280 dpi, and if it's windy, can get shocked if I try to touch their "face" (so to speak). Anyone understand?

Quiet One here. Thank you so very much for being willing to share. THIS is exactly what I needed, and God must have led me here, because I tripped upon this place. I cried reading many of your replies. Yes, Mom is in heaven. She is happy and having a great 'ol time, being reunited with my father after a divorce, and now they're dating again, instead of yelling at one another! LOL! The love is there, and thank you for sharing yours too. It IS indeed the loss here I needed to work through. There is a heaven, a blessed place, we will all be one day. I didn't think it was OK to talk too much and interfere with others' personal spaces, when they weren't willing. But thank YOU for being willing. It has helped, and I pray God blesses each and every one of you for your doing so. Love, Sheryl. The quiet one.

Answer 1

Hi Quiet one, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom and i cry and cry for a long time. You never get over losing a parent. And you never get over the loss. But we go on because we have to.I myself think about mom and tears still roll down my face. But remember that they will always be in your heart. That's sort of like they are still alive for us. If you would like to talk about your loss,you can email me on this site and i will listen and answer if i can. Try to do something to help put your mind to ease. I know this is very hard but try to find something to do. I know how you feel and i was the same way you are now. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 2

I totally understand . I am Sorry for your loss... I lost my Dad when I was 24 in 1998 and 1 year and 12 days later I lost my mom... I am going to be honest with you I had my whole life going in the right direction till my husband left me with my handicapped child alone then my Dad passed suddenly then my Mom got diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer 9 months after my Dad Died and then she passed 3 months after she was diagnosed in 1999.. and I NEVER got OVER "IT".... I tried what you have done None of my So Called Friends wanted to hear anymore about my feelings or be there for me to talk to them about my grief (because now almost 8 /9 years later according to everyone ) I should "get over it,and get on with my life"...I feel so alone to as well I had to get on medication for a long time and I still couldnt deal with none of the reality,so I quit that ,I tried counseling to no avail, adn to the church I went to talk to priest , I even went to a bereavement group through the cemetary where they are burried ( I felt a little connection there with others) but after a while the groups got smaller and smaller and they cancelled the sessions (this was free ) you may want to check out your local cemetary's and see if they offer any groups or they may have some ideas ...I actually have deterioted my self.my well being as a functioning human other then taking care of my kid... I have like a few freinds , who I hardly talk to , I have not been able to work, I am very depressed, living like a hermit for the past 8 / 9 years ..It is really hard I truly understand .. When my parents died they took what was left of me with them...God Bless you and I hope you can find some peace too one day..We are just a tear drop away from being with them again one day in heaven...

Answer 3

Can I assume you still have one parent left? The one who is still here is your source of comfort.

Talk to your pastor or listen to any sermons that help you go through grief. Trust in God and pray for comfort. Hug.

I lost my whole family (except for one brother) through war. At first, I ignored my feeling and never wanted to talk about it. Then one day, I just started crying until I couldn't cry anymore. They live in my memories; that's my comfort. I don't need to talk to anyone about it. We cope differently with the loss of our loved ones.

God bless!

Answer 4

oh poor baby there is no way to make you feel better its something you have to lorn to live with. The only thing you can do is to treat yourself right for the moment, bubble bath,music, and food that you love, but don't over do it ! and as stupid as this may sound try to think positive. You know what's the weird thing about death? its not that we cry because they die, we cry because they left us. But you will one day reunite, when you will die your parent will be there to take your soul to god. Its just a laps of time, think of it like she or he is on vacation and in 30 or 40 years, you will meet again. If they were in pain, now there pain is gone. Parents as they die is there duty to watch over us like in life, so talk to them, pray to them when times are low and friend are good to help change your mind! if you need to talk my email is [e-mail]. Don't be scared to right im always happy to help! take care and stay strong

Answer 5

I too have lost a parent. Missing someone is totally natural and you should know that. Sometimes, you just have to straight forwardly tell your family members that you need comfort and need to talk even though they hurt too. I got through with the support of my siblings. We all have to go through with it in our lives sad to say. Just focus on now more than later. The rainbow comes after the rain.

Answer 6

It would help your family if you could all talk about your loss. When I feel down about the loss of my parents it helps to talk to the family. Talk about things you did all the fun crazy times. It really does help! I think somewhere in the back of our minds were afraid we will forget. Just keep talking, I think everyone else will realize that it is a good thing.

Answer 7

Yes honey I understand. First, don't be afraid to talk about/ or to your parent. They are still there just on another level. You don't have to waste money on a phone call to them any more. You will hear them answer your questions and time will help, but remember, that they are all ways a part of you.

Answer 8

You never get past the loss of a parent. My Father died years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about him in someway. When his birthday comes, Father's Day and also the day he died. Memories stay with you. And the love for your parent. Its unconditional love.

Answer 9

i know exactly how you feel my dad was in and out of hospital for years befor he died 3 years ago i still cant cope and i have noone to talk to, so trust me i know how hard it is, if you ever want to talk send an e-mail to [e-mail] i dont check it all the time but i will reply everytime

Answer 10

You have to say goodbye and cut the cord.

There is no easy way to do this. Death is part of life. You have to simply accept this. Every one of us will die. We can't stop the clock and we can't go back.

I lost my dad 32 years ago. It was tough, but he died of a disease which caused him much suffering and his death was a comfort and a blessing to him and to us.