Aggressiveness in Marriage???

Question

Hi,
There are a lot of times when i want to like wrestle with my husband only because i feel like it's playful and a way to initiate sexual intimacy but my husband says it's annoying and he doesn't like it. Then one day our 10yr old walked in on us play fighting and wanted to join in. My husband spends 8-10hrs a day in front of his pc playing games. Do you think i am being to aggressive when i engage in this type of play? Do you think there is an underlying reason why i do it, or am i just seeking my husbands attention because he does spend so much time in front of the pc? Is it wrong for me to allow our son to engage in this as well?
Thanks In Advance to everyone who replies!!!

I DON'T allow my son to engage in sexual play but if we are just play fighting(wrestling) i don't see the harm in letting him play along.

i agree with vanman8u that my son sees this as nothing more than plyfulness and he will grow up and be able to fend himself and why should only a man be allowed to wrestle with a son, just because i am a woman doesn't mean i am incapable. I also don't think i send the message to him that violence towards women is ok cause we are very open and talk a lot. My son would never hit another girl or woman.

Answer 1

Me and my son wrestle, and I think it helps his hand eye coordination, adn i also think that he'll instinctively know how to defend himself when he's older. It seems your husband finds it annoying because it distracts him from what he's focusing on. I would suggest doing something else (i.e. going down on him without any hints before hand. A good suprise thatll get his attention)

Answer 2

Hi Wish, I don't see anything wrong with wanting to play wrestle myself i think it would be fun and very sexy. My soulmate would get a kick if i jump on him and try to hold him down. Your right it would initate sex,but what fun you would have. Your husband sounds like he gets his way about things like this. No one grows out of being a kid. I really don't see why it would annoy him. About your 10 year old. I don't think it is a good ideal to let your 10 year old join in on something that's involving sex. This is private and your 10 year old needs to leave the room. Think about it for a few minutes and you will see what i am trying to say. Your husband is on the pc all day, it sounds like he is trying to stay away from your company. What i would do is have a long talk with him,and find out what is wrong,and does he still want to be marry. It's your call you decide... A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 3

I love wrestling with women, unfortunately very few woman enjoy this. There may be an underlying reason for this but what does it matter if you enjoy it. As far as your son It might not be right if this is a sexual thing and excitement is evident. I think your husband is lucky to have an aggressive wife and I wish more women were like you.

Answer 4

firstly, i do think your husband spends more time in front of the p.c. and not enough quality time with you and your son.

Quality time is important, but what is quality time?

This is when you and your husband are together alone and are sharing with eachother, your day, your thoughts and your ears, (good ol' fashion Listening). This is your time, together.

Then there is Family Quality time where you and your family spend time together. Where ever that may be. Dinner time, breakfast, or even walking together. This is where you get to know eachother more and grow as a family.

Remember it takes time for everything, and giving it time will help.

I think you are trying to get his attention by play fighting with him. Trying to gain his interests in you again. DON'T!

If your husband cannot see what he has in front of him, and is willing to lose all that he has over not spending time with his wife and child. Then he has the problem. Talk to him, let him know how you feel. If your marriage is true then it will work its self out.

Problems dont go away, they just change. Its the way you confront them thats makes you over come them.

Good Luck... The FunK

Answer 5

Playing is good and healthy, but maybe you're being a little too unlady like. Maybe your husband doesn't find that very sexy. And sometimes when you think you are being playful, you're really being more of a pest. The underlined reason why you do it?..maybe you're still a bit of a tomboy (something you never seemed to have grown out of).

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to wrestle as a prelude to intimacy. You should sit down and talk to your husband about it and he should join in with you. I find it APPALLING that you would include your young child in this play. You are sending the wrong messages several directions.

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry too much about this. As long as other aspects of the relationship are okay you don't have a problem.

I wouldn't let my son engage in play fighting with mom. If he and dad want to a little that might be okay, but it's not the right relationship with his mother.

Answer 8

If you really really, like i mean really deep down in your heart that you wanna play fight, then you should make it more entertaining for him. For example in your bedroom, with like your shirt off and only ur bra on, that should be really interesting for him, trust me, that'll probably get his attention.

And BTW, wrestling with you, I don't think that is bad, i actually think it is good for him, as long as it doesn't go past the age of around 12.

Answer 9

If it's a way of initiating sexual intimacy, then your son doesn't belong in the middle of it.

Answer 10

i dont think there is anything wrong with it...i do it myself. i guess i like to do it because of the touching and things like that..or if he gets me in a certain hold. and i thought men like that..or atleast my husband does. talk to your man and tell him that you want to spend more time with him. that even though he is right there with you, you still miss him.