Divorce Question?

Question

This woman was divorced several years ago, they have two kids. Her ex was emotionally and minorly physically abusive. They developed a very common custody arrangement, which works well for the young children involved 6 and 7. Her ex is remarried with 2 more kids already (and possibly planning on more). What is happening is that he keeps taking her back to court, first to ask for shared placement (1 week 1 week kind of thing) the court ruled that is not in the best intrest of the child. Now not even 1 year later, to ask for extended visits (which would bring visitation just shy of shared placement arrangements) and a silly contempt charge over a trivial incident. My question- She is in a terrible depression caused by the ongoing emotional abuse, but won't seek help fearing that it will hurt her case. She thinks that it will show she is "unstable" But don't you think that it will show he is still emotionally abusing her? and the kids, because of her depression? Couldn't that help

couldn't that help her case? And, is there anything she could do to file a suit accusing him of abuse and having a court mandate a time frame when he can be allowed to file for re-evaluation of visitation, for her ease of mind. So she can stop worrying about what he has up his sleeve next?

Answer 1

Bitter guy, isn't he?

No, seeing a physician for her depression will never make it into court... but read carefully.....she can be treated for depression, and it is unlikely her ex would ever find out.... confidentiality between her and her doctor is assured, unless his attorney wishes to seize the records, so if he -- the husband-- never finds out that she saw a physician for depression, it cannot be admitted... further, if she was careful to be sure she hid any anti-depressants so that the kids could never find them should this ex ask them to search her purse, then she does indeed need to see a physician for her depression, if it turns out she is depressed, and has a condition treatable with antidepressants.

She may even wish to see another physician than her usual one, just to keep him off the track, and certainly hid any appt. reminder, or any meds that she get from him....and fill the script at an independent pharmacy owned by a little guy out of town, rather than a Walgreen's where it can be traced all over the planet..... (did you read that carefully?)

Resentful exes can make one's life miserable, and she therefore must be somewhat devious to avoid detection, if she thought that it might hurt her case.... Yes, he probably is emotionally abusing her, but judges don't really take that into account.... all they might see is an unstable mother, not realizing where it is coming from... then she too has to get an attorney, to prove the obvious, and it then goes on and on and on, and the only ones who make out are the attorneys..... remember, hon, it is always about $$$ The attorneys couldn't care less what really happens to the kids,,,, they just like big checks....never forget that...Everything to them is ALWAYS about money.

Answer 2

Hmm, so is she hoping/you’re wondering if it’s emotional abuse *because* he keeps taking her back to court. That’s not emotional abuse. She can file a lawsuit for anything, but again, taking someone to court (no matter how many times) is not emotionally abusing them, although I’m sure it’s causing her a lot of stress and is maybe contributing to her depression, and if she is depressed, she needs to seek treatment. Or, am I misunderstanding your question?

Answer 3

She needs to get a better lawyer.

If her ex-husband is truly like the asshole he sounds then he would eventually use her depression against her if he hasn't already. She should however seek counseling or consider joining as support group.

Good luck.....

Answer 4

hello robin yes that is total abuse and she should file papers on him for totally emotionally abusing her she has the right to live a better life than the way she is now he ought be punished for his abuse toward her

Answer 5

He's not suppossed to be able to get her medical records, so I say she should go talk to someone, then go for full custody and stop playing games with this loser.

Answer 6

no it won't help her case, however he will get tired of his little games eventually.