What do you do when you lose a friend?

Question

I had a very close friend of mine die in a car accident. Everyone is torn up over this. I want to help my other friends, but I can't even help myself. What do you do to cope?

Answer 1

take a moment to just breathe.... make a decision in your mind that you will accept this death. Work on helping yourself before you begin your conquest to help your other friends. I suggest finding a peaceful area, like a park and taking a long walk by yourself in silence. Take this time to breathe deeply and remember positive things about your friend that has passed on. Remember that as long as you remember him/her, he/she lives on forever. acceptance is key. good luck

Answer 2

I've experienced a number of deaths of loved ones and it isn't ever an easy process, as you know. I recently lost a very dear friend suddenly to a heart attack, and I think I can relate to what you are feeling at least a little.

Sometimes just being together, allowing each other to tell stories about the person, or just being quiet together is the best medicine. And yes, sometimes, just being allowed to cry is the best gift available.

While time doesn't "cure all ills" as the old saying goes, it does allow you to find a way to put the loss into perspective that you can live with.

Expect to be very sad for several weeks. You may go back and forth between feeling sad and being okay. You may kind of forget occassionally what happened. (Not really forget, but just have it move out of the front of your mind, so to speak). This is all good. It's all part of finding a way to move forward in spite of your loss. Then you may occassionally feel inexplicably very sad again after you thought you were doing better. It's all part of the process.

It helps to stay active.

One thing that I do when a friend dies is to plant a plant of some kind in their honor. If that is not your thing, perhaps you can find some way to honor that person- collect money from your friends and buy a book about something your friend was interested in for the library, or donate to some cause the friend cared about. A loss like this can make you feel pretty helpless, as your question seems to indicate you know very well. It sometimes provides some relief to feel like you've passed some good on to the world in honor of your friend.

I hope you find peace soon. Take good care of yourself.

Answer 3

Allow yourself to grieve. Don't listen to those who encourage you to just pick up the pieces and go on. I find for me I choose to focus on positive rather than negative. I had my 16 year old die just over 2 months ago in Hong Kong due to a appendectomy procedure gone bad- the doctor punctured the aorta. Anyway, I choose to focus on the 16 years I got rather than on being ripped off from the life that wasn't. I can't see focusing on how I have been cheated will help me get anywhere but bitter.

I also find it helps to find ways to honor my daughter's life - like encouraging donations to our church library and donations to give animals to poor people - causes my daughter believed in (which can be done through Samaritan's Purse).

It may help to get the friends together to come up a way to honor your departed friend - whether it's planting a tree or putting a bench at a park, organizing a fundraiser in the community to have a memorial fund in your friend's name or a memorial scholarship or something. Keep allowing you and the buds to talk about the friend who passed. I wish I knew less about this, but hope this helps.

Answer 4

death is a very personal thing...Everypone experiences the loss differently. Be supportive of your friends and take time to heal yourself. when they are ready you might want to remember your friend by celebrating his/her life....Celebrate life ! remember the fun you had .

I t is also a good idea to be supportive of the friend's family .The family members need to know you are out there and that you cared for their loved one.

Take the time to reflect on the good things, death isn't easy, you need support systems..and time to heal this...

Answer 5

Remember that your friend would want you to move on in life and not get hung up on the past so try to grieve then realize its time to move on...life will go on

Answer 6

A party celebration of losing a good friend.

Updates after thumb down!
Thank goodness he are gone! Because if they are truly your friends, they know what do you did it is alway the best of them! My best friend told me not to grieve when he is gone but to cheer for him and have a good celebration for him becos he is free now.
These are the words whom my passaway friend told me before he left the world by the line of duty and I did it.

Thumb down for fast? LOL! this show u are a lousy friend who doesn't know what your friend really is. No wonder so many farting idiot friendly fire on another. Imagination writing? lol..

Answer 7

I just tell myself
"This to shall pass."
For good and for bad
My condolences, everything will look better with time, you can't remove the loss, but think to yourself, would your friend want you to mope around all day, remember your friend... but don't let it destroy your life.
Again my condolences.