Am i an asshole? do i deserve being a loser? i feel horribly guilty?

Question

see i was and am always the reject kid in skool and got picked on too sometimes everyday in 8th grade. so i know how all those othr kids like me feel...but i've had a few friends in my life (but now skools also a lot better than in a long time)...

so in 7th grade i became friends w/ these 3 ppl and got really close to 1 (in the end they were backstabbers and one of the girls was really mean 2 me)...and there was this othr girl who would try to hang out w/ us and tht wud annoy the hell out of me and more than our other friends

i'd talk **** about her 24/7 and she cud tell i didn't like her..even my other friends were saying i was talkin 2 much..but nywayz one day we decided to make a plan we split up into 2 to see who she wud go w/...we knew she'd be confused for who to follow (she wasn't part of our 'group') (i don't remember who she followed)...tht was the meanest i was to her..i had a attitude w/ her(lyk when ppl think tye're better i didn't though but was snoby 2 her)

Additional Details

1 month ago
i'm not the type 2 pick on any1 especially after middle skool and none of our 'group' did but still just the way i was towrds her was mean...like ppl can b to the loser if u know wut i mean...like i said the meanest thing i've done besides talkin s*** bout her was the when me & my 'friends seperated on purpose

and the reason i feel even more guilty than any 'average or popular' kid is becuz i knew how all tht feels it hurts when ppl r like tht...and she had nobody else in tht class besides us...i feel sometimes i deserve to be a loser becuz of how i was mean to her...sometimes when i do find friends i think i get a little attitude w/ other ppl (never tht mean though i promise)......i feel like i desrve being a loser and having no friends and social life adn ppl picking on me and hating me

it's like out of all ppl how cud I do tht ME i shud know how it feels..i said sorry to her be4 skool ended (& asked her if she forgave me she said yes) and honestly i'd NEVR forgive any1

1 month ago
who was like tht to me i HATE the ppl who were mean to me mayb she was lying but she was a;ways really nice...i wish i cud say sorry one more time

1 month ago
and no don't get tehe wrong idea of me unlike all those other mean ppl i feel guilty and actually think i desrve this.....not just tht but it's not a part of my personality....i'm not like tht...it was at tht time in tht grade.....i'm not like tht anymore....God i wish i cud go bak in time and never do tht

Answer 1

Yea I hear ya.

Know what? You're an fine guy. Relax and drop the past. What's happened is over and done and you can move on. It's up to you if you want to dwell over it or if you wanna get out there and make an impact.

I'll tell you, people really don't grow up as you get older. Instead of outrightfully making fun of you, they get arrogant and just patronize you. If you really wanna stop being that loser, develop some skills or talents that have nothing to deal with getting attention. Stay after school with your art or music teachers and learn how to get good at drawing or playing an instrument. Get around with some kids in the neighborhood and shoot hoops or play wiffle ball.

When they start talking about stuff, LISTEN. Don't try to say something in order to connect to them and don't try to defend yourself if they accuse of you of something. Listen to what they're saying and ask them to explain what they're saying in more detail. If you're playing basketball with a friend and he tells you you're doing it all wrong, don't say, "No I'm not!!" Instead ask, "Can you show me how to shoot?"

Also, be mindful of your actions. Don't pick your nose, wipe your sneakers off when they're dirty, and wash up after you come in from outside. People enjoy the company of others who are presentable in public, not punks who can't take care of themselves. Wear clothes that match, make sure your shoes are tied, and brush your hair so it isn't a mess when you wake up.

As far as feeling guilty is concerned, it's over. Really, it's all over. What you're feeling is more of a resistance from wanting to grow up instead of a concern about the other's feelings (if you really cared, you would have asked if you could have hung out some time instead of just asking for an apology). I get how you can't stand that people have a tendency to be mean, but the reason people are mean is because they have goals in mind and by asking for attention, you're distracting them from getting their goals accomplished.

So here's a review of everything:

a) You're an OK guy.
b) Stop worrying about being guilty.
c) Get out there and get good at something.
d) Listen and appreciate other's help.
e) Clean up and take care of yourself.
f) RELAX.

Best of luck man. You can do this.

Answer 2

Wow. you're basically like this one female i understand and that i prefer to shoot her in her face. I were given picked on each and each and every of the time throughout out undemanding college, center college and severe college and that i nonetheless get glances the following in college. get over it. i'm seen between the nicest people they understand. in case you probably did not like her, thats effective yet don't be advise, perhaps she did no longer have dissimilar associates. I went to school with a lady like that and that i grow to be impressive to her even besides the undeniable fact that i did not like her. you do not should be a "loser". I include it. yet certain, you're an asshole! yet, in case you do not bypass to school with her any more beneficial you need to basically ignore about and learn a lesson from it. BEING advise isn't COOL! advise people SUCK ***!!!

Answer 3

learn from this lesson ...you can't change the past but you can the future...treat everyone the way you would like to be treated...