neglecting your spouse, belittling your spouse, refusing sex with your spouse, never talking or listening to your spouse....the list goes on.
When you get married there are a lot of things meant in those vows. As I recall, I never said "I solemnly swear never to have sex with anyone else", but it was implied somewhere in there. Shouldn't everything I mentioned above be taboo in a marriage? So many people on here talk about what terrible people "cheaters" are, but how can they judge without knowing the whole story? To me, someone committing any of the things I mentioned is not holding up their end of the bargain, and yet if they were to be cheated on, it would be their spouse you would judge. Why is that?
2007-02-15 15:43:52 · 9 answers · asked by meh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This isn't about me, it just bothers me to see that some people can judge so easily. For those of you that like to quote the bible, isn't there something in there that says "judge not lest ye be judged"? Think about it, nobody's perfect.
2007-02-15 15:56:16 · update #1
I agree with you.
I also really wonder why people even marry if they don't want to love, honor, cherish and make it the best relationship possible.
Some people are so damaged by their relationship that they stumble away from it the only way they know how.
It seems like people get married with expectations....but not the same expectations as their mate that sets them up for bitterness and disappointment. Which results in the worst relationship in their lives. Maybe they are just repeating patterns from past generations.
Don't be too quick to judge.........the things you judge justs might happen to you
2007-02-15 17:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because to "cheat" meaning having sex with another is the ultimate betrayal. Its not just forgetting someones birthday or an anniversary, or forgetting to say I love you or not always being there for them. People know that when they have sex with another they are betraying the trust of the person they married. Sometimes life catches up with you and you dont always listen to your spouse but the key here is that you are faithful and love only your spouse and wont forsake them for another. I know, because I divorced my husband of 15 years because he didnt talk to me anymore, ignored me etc. and I immediately dated a guy who was a total player. Now I am rethinking my decision. At least I know my "boring" ex husband was faithful and told me the truth. Now I have a guy who lies and cheats. I KNOW which is worse.
2007-02-15 15:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating happens to be the ultimate form of betrayal. It cuts you right in the heart so even though the other things you mentioned are horrible it doesn't give the person that feels neglected for example a right to go out and cheat.
2007-02-15 16:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's all bad. if you can't trust yourself to never to any of the things you mentioned, then you shouldn't be getting married. (not you as in YOU but you in general.) and believe it or not, some people know something like this is going to happen. the only situation where i ever judged someone because they cheated was my own situation. i never did anything wrong and yet he still deemed it necessary to cheat on me. and there are people like that out there. and there are people that cheat as a result of something else. i just advise not to cheat because it is wrong. in my opinion, it is better to get a divorce than cheat because it will hurt less.
there was a csi episode yesterday where this woman killed her husband and the woman she thought he was having an affair with. she says she knew he was having affairs because he told her. so why would she kill him? it's not like it was that big of a shock when she caught them. except it was. it's one thing to know and another to have it thrown in her face. she said she wouldn't trade her family for the flavor of the month. but if she just got a divorce when he told her, like she should have, then she wouldn't have gotten stabbed in the heart when she caught him. and no i don't condone her killing him (some of these are based on life but i don't know which ones) murder is never right. and neither is cheating. there is always another solution. and that is all i tell people. it hurts too much to be cheated on. i would never wish that on anyone (except my ex but then again he already knows what it feels like so who knows why he would turn around and do it to someone else).
2007-02-15 15:54:56 · answer #4 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you here on some things. HOWEVER two wrongs do not make a right. No matter who is doing wrong it is still not right to do wrong back to them and to the marriage. We all make choices and we choose to either do right or wrong in the marriage and how we treat and love our spouse. We are not held accountable for what happens to us BUT we are held accountable to how we respond to what has been done to us.
2007-02-15 15:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I love the Bible and cheating is no worse than any other sin according to it. you are right our society loves to call people cheaters like it is the plague and ignore tons of other things.
my wife cheated on me while i was in Iraq and i treated her no worse than i would have if she lied because in real world real life that is what cheating is - lying.
2007-02-15 16:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by ALEIII 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are so right but, to me, it about respect if you are unhappy in'the realtionship then be a man /women and be honest with
how you feel. but for you to go out there and cheat on the
'person that you love is what wrong. that how i feel. i just
believe in honestly, then you can handle it one way or another.
2007-02-15 16:27:04 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust has been lost.....
2007-02-15 16:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Darren B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy...LEAVE...then you can have sex with whoever you want whenever you want
2007-02-15 15:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋