I recently was forced to come out to my parents after they saw letters to a guy I like on the comp. My father is accepting, however mom wasn't and will have to learn to be, but that's not the issue. The issue is when I turn on the television and might hear a homophobic slur or behavior. I get so uncomfortable and humiliated when I hear this around my them who now known I'm gay. I'm not saying it happens all the time, but sometimes. I was just going avoid going to movies and TV with them altogether now that I'm out. I'm scared to watch near them. I particularly want to stay out of the room with them when there are comedic shows when there's a higher chance of it happening. But I can't always do this forever? How should I handle it when we go to movies or something and I hear a totally homophobic slur, 'like gay! GROSS! U WEIRDO!" I know it's awkward for my parents too, and I just feel totally embarrassed, humiliated, and uncomfortable. How should I handle these moments?
2007-02-15 14:58:01 · 11 answers · asked by Crancrab1 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Stand up for your rights. No one deserves to be treated like that, but if no one makes a stand against it then it will continue. Let your parents know how hurtful those comments are. They may not be totally accepting, but you're still their child and most decent parents will protect their kid from emotional abuse.
2007-02-15 15:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop such things from happening. Roll your eyes and shake your head but don't make an issue out of it. Face it, its mostly TV or film and not real. The important thing to remember is that speaking out against any bigotry has its time and place. Consider swearing for example. When someone swears with just about every sentence that comes out of their mouths, them folks around this person get used to the swears and think the person swearing to be obnoxious. Now the person who rarely swears, well, when they use a cuss word folks around them take heed and think, wow, he is really ticked off! In the long run it has more of an effect.
Pick and choose your battles. I hope this helps.
2007-02-15 15:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do right now is spend time with them. as much as possible. life is short. not here for a long time.
take all the time you need. but react when you hear somebody that says thats so gay. I always say I am gay do you have a problem with me. or when I'm playing virtual worlds i hear gay, thats so gay. in the chatroom. your job in life is to immediately act when you hear a homophobic statement. that is the thing you must train yourself to do. It takes some practice. but we queers have barriers up and usually don't say a word. Stick to your guns, be sensible, and be happy.
2007-02-15 15:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by Raver Xeno 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will get easier every day. It's like when you first cut yourself and the wound is tender to the touch or any stimulus, but over time, it scabs and begins healing. It might be a bit embarassing now, but in a way, the more your parents hear the word gay, the more it will force them to make peace with it and just love their son :) You might be surprised one night to hear your mum say something like "I can't believe these ignorant pl on tv saying these stupid things about gay ppl"
It's the same as I could never watch a sex scene with my mum in the room (no not a porno, just a romance scene)...and now 10 years later, heck, i joke about her having sex with my dad
2007-02-15 21:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. Your family will get over this because they love you, despite how they might be intolerant. Your mother does not want to lose her child, so just be yourself. Don't worry about anything on TV that you think might upset them. Continue with TV, movies, going out, etc. You can't live your live to please everybody, or else that will give control to others. Be your own person! If anything rude is said to you, don't let yourself get down about it. Try to find a support group in your town or city that deals with coming-out issues. And good luck!
2007-02-15 15:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by SB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let them see how uncomfortable this makes you, when i'm in church and the pastor starts making comments about how homosexuality is wrong my family looks at me, when something on tv about homosexuality comes up they'll look at me because now they notice how I react to things. you're just going to have to learn to not let it bother you.
2007-02-15 15:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my world sweetie. Be glad you can hide your sexuality any time it gets to be too much. I have dealt with things like that, feeling uncomfortable when racial matters happen. You just have to develop a thicker skin and realize, it's their own ignorance.
2007-02-15 15:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things get better and better everyday!!!
Equality is slowly being accomplished!!!!!
All those homophobes will be hit in the nose!!!
watch!!
2007-02-15 15:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. 20 years from now you won't even remember this... It seems big and scary now... but you will soon move on to bigger and better things.
2007-02-15 15:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them! Consider the fact that they are narrow minded, ignorant fools! If you do not let it bother you, it will not bother them.
2007-02-15 16:25:18 · answer #10 · answered by kar506 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋