My ex and I are still friends, but we see each other only a few times a year. I've never acted on my urges, but I find myself still attracted to him and lately I've been having sexual dreams about him. These dreams are freaking me out. Why am I thinking about him? I could understand if I weren't attracted to my husband, but I am.
2007-02-15 14:16:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know this answer! lol.
This is a really common thing... to dream of an ex even though you're happy in your current relationship and have no desire to go back. What happens is this: In your subconscious mind, your first significant relationship becomes a sort of symbol for all later relationships. It's like he gets imprinted and represents a generic love relationship for you. So while you may be dreaming about things going on with your current guy, your subconscious mind puts this first guy's face on it.
2007-02-15 14:34:11 · answer #1 · answered by selena n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mind is a powerful thing, your subconscious can work hand in hand with your dreams and your urges. Can you be physically attracted to both? If you love your husband and you do not live up to your urges with your ex you'll be fine, on the other hand if you act on those urges someday you will regret it deeply. A relationship is based on trust and loyalty to one another. It sounds as though you may have latent desires for your ex. Good luck!
2007-02-15 14:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always want what they can't have. It sounds like you are too comfortable in your marriage and thinking about having a little more excitment in your life.
Its like owning a car. Lets say you own a BMW and you really love your car. However, every now and then you see a Mercedes Benz you really like but know you can't afford it right now. You will keep thinking about it because you know you can't have it. But once you get it, it won't be as pleasing to you as you thought. It is always the idea of having something that people fantasize about rather than actually having it. Just look at the really wealthy people. They are never satisfied because they have everything. There isn't anything that they can't have.
Appreciate what you have. Most women would kill to have what you have.
2007-02-15 15:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by insidehomerun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To dream that you commit adultery or have an affair, is an expression of sexual urges or self-betrayal from your subconscious. It also indicates that you will be entangled in a situation that is not in your best interest, perhaps even illegal.
To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel some lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others.
To dream that you are committing adultery with your spouse's friend, denotes that you are feeling neglected by your spouse.
Just a few options to consider from dreammoods.com
2007-02-15 14:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have some sexual desires that aren't being fullfilled for some reason, work them out with you husband. My husband has had sexual dreams about his ex, but he refers to them as nightmares and got mad when I told him I hoped he dreamed of her again when he ticked me off and then he did dream of her again. If you two are friends I hope you don't tell your husband about these dreams, he may think something.
2007-02-15 14:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree that you need to stop seeing him. PERIOD.
You're very blessed that your husband does not know about this, and if he does, that he's still with you. I know that my husband would not stand for something like that.
It's not necessarily wrong to have dreams about someone you once loved, or even to still be attracted to them (I mean, heck, why were you with them in the first place, you know?). But it definitely IS up to you to do something about stopping the temptation for something more than just friendship.
please stop seeing this other man. No good can come from it--only heartache.
2007-02-15 14:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this same problem. I dream about a certain individual all the time....and it is not my husband. I think it is because of your subconcious mind. It is hard not to act on them, though. I wake up wishing/wondering if it was true for a few seconds. Just keep it to yourself and don't tell your hubby...he will be suspicous and pi$$ed.
sweet dreams....
2007-02-15 14:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by demongelding1@hotmail.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is normal because you and him have a past and the sex was probably pretty good. Keep these thoughts in you dreams and fantasies because if you act on these it will most likely not measure up to your fantasies and it isn't worth risking your marriage.
2007-02-15 14:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Psychologically speaking, either your sexual fantasies are not fulfilled by your husband or you have had better sex with your ex-bf than with your husband. If our mind don't get satisfaction while we are awake, then we satisfy our mind in dreams.
2007-02-15 14:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by purplemollies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out what the unresolved issues are- you left something unsaid.
Probably doesnt have anything to do with sex et al.
Attraction is one thing. Acting out intimacy in your dreams is another.
2007-02-15 14:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Paradox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋