i have been with my b/f for 3 years now, we have lived together almost a year, and we grew up together. He told me he wanted to be with me forever and wanted to marry me, however something has changed. I am ready, i know what i want for myself. i dont want to push him into anything at all, however i dont think it is right for me to just sit around and wait for him to decided when he ready? what about what i want?
2007-02-15 14:00:42 · 16 answers · asked by jessica d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is waaaay more simple then you think. You're smart enough to acknowledge that you know what you want. Don't settle, you'll regret it.
Go tell him you love him and you NEED to be making the next step. If he has the qualities you're looking for in a man, the test drive phase is over baby! This ride ain't for lease!!!!
2007-02-15 14:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think about it, sometimes marriage is just a legal piece of paper that makes people think they own one another. You don't have to be married to have a full and rewarding life. And now a days being unmarried and living together is very common and having children as well. All that matters is that you are committed and responsible and understand that. You don't need a marriage to have these things.
2007-02-15 22:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey don't get all fussed up ... things like this take time. it's not an overnight decision, you say you love him but you also have to consider his feelings and if he is already physically, emotionally and financially ready to eventually start a family with you ...
maybe now he is thinking of having his own house, car, land, a business maybe to support your future ... in a marriage it is not always you but for the two of you ...
basing on what you said... he wants to be with you forever .... you two are already living together so i see no problem that you two won't marry in the near future , don't bug him about it because he may be too pressured and might change his mind ... if the "wedding" thing is all you need that is not enough to seal your relationship .... it takes two to tango ... life partners are so hard to find so please cherish and live happily with what you have and wait ...
2007-02-15 22:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by majal_lu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't as important to some people these days as in the past. However, it seems to be an important issue to you. I know you two are living together and in his mind that may be enough. Tell him that you are ready for the next step and feel that he's wasting your time by not fully commiting to you. Give him some time to process this. Set a deadline/date for some movement (engagement, wedding date, etc) and if he doesn't follow thru....dump his ***.
Don't waste your time someone who doesn't want what you want. If marriage is important 2 u it is to him also.....
2007-02-15 23:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by answergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that marriage is a HUGH committment for a guy so i guess the best thing i can tell you right now is just to wait around for the right time.... Trust me on this too.... once you two are marriage, your relationship will NEVER be the same.... just stay the way that you are right now and see where things goes... good luck
2007-02-15 22:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by molly_tony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound harsh. But now days people rather just live together than to tie the kno. I mean marriage is a beautiful thing, but if what you have now is good, then just live it like that and be happy. God works in different ways and he will guide you and then you will know when it's the right time. Good Luck!
2007-02-15 22:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by Shorty06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So right now you are 'shacking up' with this guy who says that he wants to be with you forever and wants to marry you, but he never said that he loved you. He is not committed to you even now, because he chose to live with you, rather than marrying you. So, you are just there for company and sex. He doesn't care what you want, this is what he wants. Another wards, he is not ready for marriage, but wants to hold on to you for his needs. I don't know what else to tell you, but it is up to you weather you want to wait another 2 years until he is ready, or move on with your own life. Sorry to be so harsh with words.
2007-02-15 22:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is set a time in your head that you want him to have a date set for the marriage and if he still hasn't agreed to get married and set a date by then leave. He is in a spot now that he likes, he is getting everything from a marriage without being married, so whats in it for him to get married?
2007-02-15 22:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are ready to committ and that you want to discuss a timeframe for getting married, If he tells you he isn't ready suggest that it might be best not to live together until you both know that you want each other exclusively and forever
2007-02-15 22:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already said he wants to marry you so go straight to the point. ask him if he still wants to, and if not, then why. From a guy that was in the same boat long ago, I can tell you that had she'd been straight forward with me, I'd have a different life now.
2007-02-15 22:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by mustang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋