I'm not joking, I'm totally serious. How do I deal with this? Is this even normal?
2007-02-15 13:58:19 · 41 answers · asked by K 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
For all of you that are saying I need therapy, this guy was my bf...he died like 5 weeks ago.
2007-02-15 14:03:22 · update #1
when a person you love dies, you don't stop loving them. same with your mother, aunt, grandma, husband, or boyfriend. time goes by and will heal the pain you feel. if i were you i would get him a rose and a birthday card to put on his grave. when you visit tell him you are sorry he is gone from your life. tell him you miss him. its o.k. to shed a tear. its part of the healing process. next year will be better, i promise. sorry you lost him. this is completely normal.
2007-02-15 15:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by jacqueline j 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what to think about this...
I don't think you can stop feelings for another person inside yourself whether they are alive or dead.
I say have your crush and celebrate his birthday with him in your thoughts. Who is to say in this day and age what is and what is not normal.
You aren't hurting anyone other than maybe yourself in the long run and that would be only if you do not open yourself to the chance or possibility of having a crush on a living guy in the future. You will miss out on that then..
2007-02-15 14:07:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this has happened before. There are times in my life I think, "Wow, I must be the only dork to have done this," but then realize that I'm not original enough to be the first, not even for something so weird.
Relax!
I think that if you like him or if you were friends, celebrating his birthday (maybe by bringing flowers to his grave) is not a bad idea. Remembering him for who he was and still liking him is not bad and will take time to heal. "Time heals all," as korny and stupid as it sounds.
If you started to like him after he died (found out about him through a piece of writing or something), that's still not completely insane. But it sounds then like you fell for the idea of him and never really knew him. Again, it will pass with time and still nothing wrong with celebrating his birthday and visiting his grave site.
Hope that helped!
2007-02-15 14:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Robeau 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a crush on a dead guy- sounds kinda like a morbid fascination or a necrophilia thing maybe that's why people said you need therapy and they dont realize how harsh their response feels,
your response is completely normal grieving the loss of someone you cared for is a process, your friend died and birthdays and holidays make the hurt more intense sometimes, look in the phone book or call your local hospital and ask for a referral to a bereavement group or counselor
2007-02-15 14:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry for your loss!
Tomorrow is the birthday of the only man I have ever loved.... he's not dead, but I'll probably never see him again. Tomorrow I plan on looking at all our pictures, listening to our songs...remembering all the incredible days, hours, and minutes that we had together.... and I'm getting drunk, to dull the pain my heart is in. I'm already hurting and by tomorrow I won't be able to work.... You need to do what will make you feel close to him... and remember all the incredible times you had together.... and never ever forget them... I know I won't!
I'll be thinking of you. Take care ok!
2007-02-15 14:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need therapy. Even if he was your bf, there is nothing normal about having those kind of feelings for a dead guy.
2007-02-15 19:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need therapy. Don't listen to those people. Of course you're going to still like him if he died like 5 weeks ago and was your boyfriend. You should try to think about other guys and time will let you get over him.
2007-02-15 14:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by Jamaican girl<3 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I thought about your question and can not find any logic in a crush on the dead. If you want to remember this person visit the grave, but if this is affecting your life get therapy.
2007-02-15 14:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by E-Razz 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sure - lots of people have crushes on romantic idols of the past. Jim Morrison's grave is rarely without flowers. As long as you know it's a crush, don't worry. You might want to visit his grave and leave a stone or flowers. Just don't let it hold you back from real relationships.
2007-02-15 14:03:09 · answer #9 · answered by knitsafghans 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am so sorry to hear of your loss. hang in there. time heals all wounds. yes, it is normal. the best thing for you to do is to visit his grave and place roses or something there like that and tell him how much you miss him and wish he could be here. that's about it. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-15 14:26:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋