What should I do????

Question

Okay, here's the deal. I had an affair with a man that's about 10 years older. He and I both have marital problems. My husband's gotten fat and doesn't care and I'm no longer attracted. His wife has also gotten fat and let herself go so he seeked me. We are SOOO attracted to each other and even just enjoy talking and laughing and even crying together. I broke it off though because I felt it was wrong and decided to try with my husband for our kids sake. I ignored the other guys calls, and even hung up on him 3 times. I saw him yesterday after 3 months. Tears came to my eyes as he walked by and said "Hmmm... Well, how have you been?" I said "Good, how have you been?" He just kept walking. Then, today, he walked by and said "So, do I still gross you out?" Later, after I left work, he called my phone and said "Welcome back. I've really missed you. I just wish you would have talked to me and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just don't know what I did." I love him so much and wan

Answer 1

just how much do u want to stay with your husband/ i know the situation sounds famillure . the man i really loved i had to wait over thirty years. i love him the same way i did when i was younger. he is still married. iam a widow.we see each other and still love the way we did when we were younger. some times u just marry the wrong guy,but we all make mistakes.

Answer 2

You already made the mistake of giving up on your marriage by cheating...this fling with the other guy is just you trying to make yourself feel better about something that won't fix itself until you face it...

It's so sad nowadays that people are in love with the idea of love...and they confuse love with lust...Relationships are just as much work as they are a reward: BOTH people have to want to be there...and if you say your husband doesn't care, is that because you gave up first by cheating? Did you try to help him with weight loss? Ever consider that HE might have feelings too and it's not just about you?

If you ever truly want something that will last, you will have to sacrifice your time and effort for it. That means YOU making the first change...it means not being selfish or shallow...and it means that you may have to put in more than half the effort. Don't fall into the lie that everything should be equal, because it's not. It's 100%/100% for both people.

Answer 3

Basically you are saying that your husband gained weight and that justifies your affair. That is awful. Are you perfect? If you do not want to be in your marriage, get a divorce. You are risking your husband's life if you are having sex with him after you've cheated with the other man. STD's are a risk he may not want to take. If you choose to end your marriage, that does not give you the right to ruin someone else's. Do you feel quilt or remorse that you are hurting your husband? You need to be honest with your husband and figure out what's in the future for you two. Don't think that if you both leave your spouses, you will live happily ever after...if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you!

Answer 4

You're right to stick with your current family for your kids' sake. On the other hand, sounds like you've also found your soul mate. You should be frank with him this real and noble reason why you wanted to break off, rather than make up some hurtful reason like we see in soap operas. And there is no reason why you can't keep in touch with him at the same time. You just have to draw the line when you're with him. You can be close without having sex and the whole nine yards.

Answer 5

First off appearance should have nothing to do with how you feel. Next if you really want to try to work it out with your husband go to counselling, and tell him how you feel and about the affair. If you and this other guy are truly in love then go for it, be with him. It is worse for children when parents stay together out of duty. I preferred to see my parents divorced and together with their soul mates, then being together because of the children. But you and both these guys need to do some serious soul searching.

Answer 6

You had no business getting married. I'm glad you gave us a sob story justifying your cheating. How pathetic. Stay away from marriage. Maybe you should have talked to your husband about his weight. I'm sure you've gained a lot of weight too, and probably gotten uglier, obviously you've gotten uglier on the inside! I hope your husband wises up and leaves your sorry, pathetic, selifsh butt.

Answer 7

Divorced happen all of the time based on falling out of love with the one your currently with, Just talk to this other guy, find out some more about him, does he want to get out his marriage too? I feel for you both, take care

Answer 8

Have you told your husband about his weight problem? Have you told your husband you aren't attracted to him because of this?

No?

Well, why? I think your husband deserves to know that his wife thinks he's a fat slob and might just try to correct the problem. Most guys want to keep their wives happy, belive it or not.

But, since men ARE NOT MIND READERS (I wish I could yell that in your ear right now!!) They don't always know WHY we don't think they are attractive or sexy anymore. So we have to tell them. It maybe uncomfortable for you, but guess what, he will start to lose the weight because he loves you.

As for him "not caring" ALL men are about their wives. but once they start to nag, disresecpt, emsculate and pretty much "beat: them down emotionaly they really don't see any hope and feel lost and heartbroken. So, to "fix" your "not caring" problem, you need to show your husband that YOU love and care for him...

Now onto you cheating. Because you are to scared to tell your husband what you are concered about, you just keep it in, and go off and cheat and try to find comfort in a man when you won't even tell yours whats wrong. How sad!!

You don't "Love" this man you are having an affiar with, you are in "lust" with him. It's hard to tell, but if you "loved" him so much, then you would be married to him, not your husband.

I think you need to break this affair off and confess your wrongdoing to your husband. And when he asks why, PLEASE DO NOT SAY

"I don't know why I cheated on you.."

Because you just confessed to everyone on yahoo answers why.."because he's fat and doesn't care.." SO you need to just own the fact that you did a horribly wrong thing, tell him THE REAL REASON FOR YOUR CHEATING and get ready accept wahts coming to you. A divorce or years of trust building.

I hate it when women like you go around saying that because their husbands aren't nice to them, that gives them a free ticket to cheat. But when the men say things like "Our wife is to fat, she is mean, i'm not attracted to her anymore" they are pigs, they are swine, they are the lowest life they are just horrible..But guess what, YOU are the pig, YOU are the swine and YOU are lower the pond scum :)

Answer 9

the grass is always greener on the other side....what happens if you turn your entire life upside down to be with him, and in three years HE gets fat? Relationships that started via cheating usually end up on the rocks due to more cheating....it's a statistic.

Answer 10

maybe you should have a talk with your husband about the way he is. and what good will come out of this for your CHILDREN (because what ever you do it will affect them) if you are having an affair????