Why can't i stop lying?

Question

i lie so much. i have a BIG problem. most of the times i just do it about little thing but now the lies are starting to get bigger......

no one has caught on accept one friend. she's never said anything but i know she knows. my problem is, i'm too good at it. if i continue everyone is going to know and end up hating me because i am a liar.

when i lie once, i have to cover my tracks. so i know soon i will be caught out. how can i stop this before it gets too serious?

i'm not being funny here, but do i have a mental disorder!?

and i'm 16

also one other thing. if i can stop this. i will have to admit to everyone my lies.....they will hate me!

why are yous all suggesting to just stop. do you not think i've tried that!? i try so hard....that's why i'm asking on here

i'm not a bad person, i guess i just have a problem

Answer 1

You will get caught. You always get caught. It's just a matter of time, so accept it.
You may have a disorder. Then again, you may just like to impress people or find your life so boring that lying allows you to tolerate yourself and your mundane existence.
Talk to someone--it's obvious this is bothering you and I'm proud that you're mature enough to admit it.
God bless and Good luck!

Answer 2

Why, because you think you get away with it. And you're right, the second reason is that you've lied so much you're forced to cover up for all the bull you've created.

One of the things I'm sure of is that your lies will be discovered. One way or another. It may happen tomorrow, next week, next month or even 10 years after. But they will catch up with you.

Second thing I'm sure of is that when your lies catch up, no matter how late they catch up, the people involved will feel bad to say the least. They may feel cheated and if you're very unlucky, they'll always and forever have a hard time trusting you.

My suggestion to you is to start admitting the lies you've made. Apologize for it and make a genuine effort to stop lying. And when you find yourself in a situation wherein you feel like lying, don't. Stop justifiying to yourself why you have to lie. If you admit your lies, people will get hurt and mad. And yes, some, as you said, may even hate you. But if you think about it you deserve it, that's the price that you have to pay for lying. However, believe me when I say that at the end of the day, people, especially your family and friends, will appreciate more the fact that you said the truth.

Also just to give you a heads up. When you get older and when you become a professional, your success and growth will greatly depend on your integrity as much as it will depend on you skills and performance. And integrity is built on trust and truth.

Answer 3

I knew a friend like you in primary/high school. I knew she lied and she knew I knew. In the end I think we spoke about it (just the two of us) and I tried to find out why she was doing it when she had so many friends and myself. Why did she have to pretend/lie about things. In the end it came down to attention. She wasn't getting any at home (family problems) and she liked people hanging off her every word, but what she didn't know is that the girls we hung out with actually knew she lied and when the lies or the attention seeking got out of hand, she lost most of her friends. I was the only one who took the courage to talk to her about it. And I'm actually still a friend to her as I think that actually helped having someone there for her. Now that she is a grown woman she is married and has a baby and has a very happy life.
So maybe that's what you have to do speak to your friend that you think knows you lie. Tell her what's going on in your life. We all need a confidant. She maybe able to help you through this. Do you actually lie to get attention? If you think that she can't help well speak to your school counsellor or someone else you trust. Once you get it off your chest you may feel better.
Also if one friend knows, the others may too (like my friends, they just didn't let on until it was too late and she lost them). Should you tell them the truth now??? Well what exactly is the truth? They may not be able to work out if you still are lying or if you are indeed telling the truth. If you can get the help from the friend that knows you lies and she can help you through this, then just try and tell the truth from now on and if somthing comes up about it (an old lie) then maybe your friend can step in and change the subject or you could say really did I say that I can't remember wow that was a pretty stupid thing to say - I don't know why I said that.
Hope this helps and good luck. Just remember that my friend is now no longer a liar like she use to as all she really wanting was some attention and she got it thru me. If your friend/s are true friends they should see you through this.

Answer 4

It's a good sign that you realize that you are lying and actually see it as a problem. It can reallly hurt the people that you love, nobody likes to be lied to, even if it's about something that is so small. Also, the other thing that you have mentioned, when you lie just about little things, and then it accumulates, the snowball affect. I don't really think you have a disorder, since a lot of people anymore lie, but you are taking the right step in changing, you actually want to! Next time you are going to lie about something small, think to yourself, why. Why are you doing it, and what is the point? Why not tell the truth. Your real friends will accept the truth from you, and if they don't then they aren't true.

Answer 5

congratulations for admitting this!.

I think, its better if u open up and tell the truth to the people who mean the most to you-closest friends, family etc..

If they find out, you risk losing the ones u love. I know it's hard, but I think if u admit before they confront you-u're bound to be forgiven.

I had a boyfriend who lied a lot to impress me and other people. I piece the facts together and when they didn't match I suspected he was lying, and I confronted him. He was caught, and I gave him the chance to explain , bcoz i was ready to let it go and forgive. He chose to lie again to cover those other lies. I was done!

He was devasted by the break-up, bcoz i meant the world to him.

Answer 6

Well if one friend knows all your friends know, lying is a messed up, no one will trust you. suggest you stop now because you will get caught or blamed for stuff you didn't do because people will be like she lies all the time.

Answer 7

Maybe your lying about not being able to stop lying. Therefore you are telling the truth, but by that you are not lying. Now having proved your a liar by lying about lying, are you lying.

If you actually cared to stop lying you would. Obviously you feel that your life has not excitement, so you have to lie to entertain yourself. Kind of like asking the question in the first place.

Answer 8

You're not THAT good at it. It is just a matter of time before your friend and everyone else finds out who you are - someone with NO integrity. Could be a lonely and chaotic life if you do not change your ways. If necessary, get some psychological assistance.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

Consider yourself lucky...You have a very active imagination...I hope they are good and extremely extravagant lies.You can write cool fiction novels...I like to lie. ..It makes a dull life more interesting...As long as you're not doing it to be vindictive or to hurt others,what wrong is done?Also,if it's an illness,use it to your advantage and make them "better" lies.Everyone lies to some extent..Why not make them soo ridiculous that people just accept that you are funny and creative...Plus,REALITY really sucks sometimes anyway...It's a way to vent..ENJOY IT.....