I have been married for 4years to a 31 year old man. When we met I had one son and he had two kids, we then had a child together and brought them all together and live as a family of six. Last year I met a guy 23years old and i am 30 and have been sneaking seeing each other for about 9 months, until he had to return to Jamaica. We however call each other all the time and I believe I am in love with him. My husband is also Jamaican and I am very familar with the culture. He says he loves me, and wants me to leave my husband. He does have a baby in Jamaica. I love the attention he shows me and how treats me better than my husband ever has. However, I still have strong love-feelings for my husband, and worry about the kids. I don't feel old at 30 but I don't know what to do with these feelings. I thought when he went back to Jamaica that would be the test to see if it was lust or love, I now think it is love. I am afraid though about my husbands reaction, or the word divorce.
2007-02-15 12:24:50 · 17 answers · asked by africadreams30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't like sounding judgmental but that was very selfish of you to cheat on your husband especially when there are children involved in the marriage. I think maybe this guy excites you especially since he is younger. If you honestly needed a test to figure out your feelings it's probably lust. Maybe he treats you good now but how will you know how he'll be 4 years from now. Will he fall short of your expectations too? Then you will start looking around again?
If you don't love your husband the way you should then tell him your true feelings and get the divorce. You need to stay close to the children though as you have become a blended family. Not to mention you can't just up and move and take the child you two had together. I am also curious about this other guy's situation. He had an affair with you, has a baby in Jamaica and then returned to Jamaica? How do you know whether or not there was another woman waiting there for him? He might be playing you...
I would seriously think about things before doing anything spontaneous that you'll regret later on...
Good luck.
2007-02-15 12:37:14 · answer #1 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Married; Cheating on husband; In love with another man;
Children involved and you ask what should you do: Are
you married for real as married real people do not think
or act as you do, you need to get togeather with yourself
and know what it is that you really want in life and when
you do and you are still in love with this other man you
need to get togeather with your husband and let him know
your feelings and give him some explanations. In the end
you will be the result of someone suffering in the end and
it will probably be your kids: If you can deal with that on
your conscience then you can do anything that is wrong
in a relationship just like you are doing now.The only
thing that will happen is it will come to haunt you and then
you might realize what you did was wrong, what a shame.
2007-02-15 13:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny that the same thing happened to me. Eleven years ago I met a man that was 23 and I was 31. We had an affair for two years. I broke it off because I had two children at home and I did love my husband. It was just that this guy filled a void that my husband didn't. Now, eleven years later. I recently left my husband for this guy. I believe that I, for the first time in my life am in love. This is a love that I don't have for my husband. The hardest thing for me was telling my husband and letting every body I know what was going on. I have been judged and bad things said. But, I love my guy and am sad that I waited so long to be truly happy. All I can say, please think about your choices and consequences. Get as much advise as you can. Make sure that you are ready and willing to give up your husband. Be ready when your husband does move on....
2007-02-15 14:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by swtnseatle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't feel like I'm in my thirties either, but hon, do you REALLY want to be a cougar? You made a commitment, a covenant to love, honor and sustain the man with whom you live. Your children DESERVE a home where there are a mommy and a daddy who are commited to, love, respect and care for each other. In fact, the best gift you can give your children is a good relationship with their father.
Moreover. A 23-yr-old stud-muffin is NOT going to be mature enough to raise your kids.
Go back to your husband. Make him happy and in doing so you'll make yourself happy.
`
2007-02-15 13:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop committing adultery RIGHT NOW. Believe me, I had a good friend do this and it ruined her life, the life of her husband and worse, the LIVES OF HER CHILDREN. There is NO WAY for you to make this work. You WILL hurt no matter what you do - do the right thing and choose the way to hurt that doesn't hurt your kids and your husband. I know it's hard but you MUST break it off.
2007-02-15 12:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by C C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
im 43 with a almost 21 year old boyfriend. we are going on 3 years living together. you should stop the affair, it is wrong, if you want to be with him end it with your husband. but remember you are taking a risk and will loose your husband forever. are things that bad with him? if not and you still love him you should stay with him. there is always temptation, doesnt mean you should give into it. you need to have control. you owe it to yours kids and husband especially if he is a nice guy to you.
2007-02-15 13:02:42 · answer #6 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've got been informed via some youthful girls human beings 2 motives. First older adult men take care of those youthful girls like women human beings and girls, in comparison to sources. 2nd, older adult men are greater in charge. we truthfully happen at paintings for paintings, no longer a social existence. And older adult men do no longer wine some interest being "too perplexing". We act like adult men. There are some different motives yet, what i discussed is a huge area of why youthful girls human beings like older adult men. As for why would an older guy fall in love with a youthful lady. properly, come on. it may flow greater beneficial than basically intercourse and we are all human.
2016-10-02 05:22:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your husband and kids you should try and fix whats wrong with your marriage. Tell your husband whats going on with you. Tell him why your unhappy. If you both come to the conclusion that your marriage cannot work then move on. Knowing you tried working it out will leave your conscience clear. Everyone deserves to be happy. Good luck and may god bless.
2007-02-15 12:42:28 · answer #8 · answered by LaQuinta 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
with the kids that you have ect you should be ashamed of yourself cheating on a husband that you say you love, if you truly love him then the best thing to do is to divorce him and let him find someone that is true and faithful and not someone that lies and cheats
2007-02-15 12:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by billc4u 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad lady..
Stay with u man u fell in luv wit and dat u had kidz wit o else u got to pay child support cuz u ait suppost to be doin and falln in luv wit othe ppl
2007-02-15 12:33:28 · answer #10 · answered by Lokita L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋