Is there anything i can do to stop this relationship?

Question

my husband has a friend that completly disrespects me calls me names like **** and *****. Then when i am not around he tells my husband to divorce me. Now my husband is starting to bring up divorce to me and picking at the smallest things and blowing them up. He wont talk to me with out argueing and this is all as a result from how his friend has influenced him.

My husband is VERY influencible, almost every friend he has hung out with he has acted exactly the way they do.

Answer 1

As for the so called friend why don't you try calling him **** and ********** right back so he can see how it feels.

As for your husband, I think you have married a boy instead of a man. This one is too immature for marriage if he is still being influenced so much by his friends.

Next time he brings up divorce you tell him that yes you think it might be a good idea. You can tell he does not love you by the way he allows his friends to disrespect you without putting a stop to it. Tell him that you think perhaps he needs to grow up some and that you are tired of how he acts and how he treats you then stop talking to him and go do something without him. Ignore him and when he talks about divorce you tell him how you are gonna clean him out to make up for what he has put you through. That should stop him

Now for the truth. This marriage is not gonna work out. You need to cut your losses and get out before you bring children into this mess and you really get tied down. You might try counseling but I bet he will not go. He is not going to change otherwise, except to get worse. You need to take the hints and run run run. You will be sorry if you stay in this mess You are unevenly yoked and even the Bible tells us that will not work out. Good luck you need it

Answer 2

Welllll...sounds like this was a friendship you should have stopped before you got married. But the fact that your husband hangs around people like this says that it's really not the friends that are 'influencing' him as much as you think. Birds of a feather... Men tend to hang with those that are most like themselves, so please don't believe that all this has to do with your husband's friends. It was there all the time.

Now that you're married, I'm afraid that there's really nothing you can do to end these friendships. Anything you say to him about them will simply push him to hang around them just that much more. Men have this sick mechanism that just drives them to do the opposite of what you would like for them to do--even if it's good for them!! I suppose that you could always round up some nice fellows for him to hang with and draw him out of the sphere of the losers but that may not work. The problem is that up until a little while ago, you guys were probably doing okay together. Problem is that misery loves company. Your husband's so called friend is most likely jealous of what the two of you have and rather than be happy that his friend is happy, he'd rather point out flaws in what he has to make your husband think less of you. Now if you decide to leave him, I guarantee that that loser won't be anywhere to be found as long as your husband is just as unhappy/unloved/unfulfilled as he is.

Answer 3

Well first of all your husband shouldn't allow this friend to come into your home and disrepect you...your husband is also disrespecting you by letting it happen....you may want to try to talk to him about it and if that is not possible I would tell him that if he wants out then to go for it cause there is no women in this world gonna put up with the friend and the insults....If it were me when the friend came over I'd toss him right to the curb quick and if the husband didn't like it he would follow...

Answer 4

Do you really want to remain married to a man,that allows his friends to speak to you," HIS WIFE", with such disrespect? The relationship that you should be questioning is the one between you and your husband. I am sorry, however, a grown man that can be led like a child by his friends so easily, does not belong in a relationship, never mind being married. Do not make excuses for your husband, for this seems to be a pattern for him. Your husband has no back-bone, common sense, or maturity to think for himself. You need to realize that this behavior is not going to stop.If he was a MAN, in the true sense of the word,a caring man, this behavior would cease. I think you need to evaluate what is best for YOU. You need to speak up for yourself, because it is obvious your husband will not.

Answer 5

He needs a dominating wife so that from now on every waking moments in his life he spends it with you. His friends will have to take second place.

I really think you're husband is not thinking clearly at all. He's very impressionable.

I think you should take yourself and your husband to a counsellor. You guys will need therapy, especially your husband, he has very low self-esteem. He thinks that if he can be friends with someone, that someone must have something that is attractive because they're able to make friends...something which he lacks. He's like the sidekick in a friendship, the tag-along...

Be as dominating as his friends are, talk back to them, yell at them, kick them out of your house and tell them they're not allowed in your home. I'm sure your husband has settled into a comfortable zone with you because I'm sure you don't talk back...but if just break out of your traditional role and be as strict and dominating and mean as you can be, you'll scare your husband straight.

See how he reacts to you. If he gets scared, good...maybe he needs a little jolt to break off of his bad habit...his friends.

If he is bringing you down, don't let it be easy for him, fight it...I don't mean have verbal fights, but stand up for yourself. Have a friend or family member with you, don't be alone with his friends. Be strict and consistent with the changes you'll make.

The word I'm looking for is ASSERTIVE. Be assertive and firm with your husband. Don't allow his friends in the house, call the police if you have to, I'd go to the extreme if my husband's friends were poisoning him against me. Extreme cases call for extreme measures.

Answer 6

Bobbi, First of all apparently your husband thinks more of his friends than he does of you. If you want this marriage to work you need to set down with your husband and tell him how his friends make you feel and that he seriously need to make a choice in life between you and his friends. But in order to do this you have to face the consequences of what you want because he may not want you anymore. Oh Bobbi life is too short to be unhappy. Think of yourself for once.

Answer 7

List all the bills on paper.
Figure out how much child support & alimony he will have to pay.
Let him know you will also ask in the divorce that he provide you with a new car and 1 year auto insurance.
You want the house and he will pay for it.
Quote the rate he will be paying YOUR lawyer (the best lawyer $ can buy)

If he sees $$$$ in black and white and thinks that you may be agreeable to his threats of divorcing, then he may ask you to fogive him for being a jerk.

Answer 8

I dont think there is anything you can do to stop this relationship hon. I am so sorry you are going through this. Tell your husband your concerns about this but this is all you can do about it and whatever you do do not be around this friend of this ever. Do not even allow this guy on your property or in your house. You and your husband need marriage counseling as well. I also recommend you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him about this and see what he has to say about it.

Answer 9

He needs to choose what's most important: his friendship or his marriage. Are you nice to your husband? Why would this friend of his say this kind of stuff about you? Men don't talk crap about their friends' wives unless there's something else going on.

Your husband sounds like a little boy, not a man.

Answer 10

Probably not. If you have talk to him and it hasn't done any good, then I don't give it much hope. It doesn't sound like he has grown up. He doesn't know how to act, so he copies everyone else. He needs tostand up and be a man. Until he does, he won't change.