2gether 4 1/2 years,2 kids,no sex.fed up please help...?

Question

me and my fiancee' have been together for 4 1/2 years...we haven't had sex but maybe 4 times in the last 5 months... I don't know what to do... yesterday(v-day) he woke me up with a dozen roses chocolate and a card....so i thought good things were to come... i had previously bought a really cute lingerie outfit to wear for him and come v-day night... nothing... i'm not going to cheat... i would never mess up what we have by doing that but i feel like i'm on the verge of leaving... i love him very much but he has been treating me like a child and not bieng intimate with me.... he's with me ALWAYS so i know he isn't cheating i just don't know what to do... and to top it all off we bought wedding rings and are waiting for them to come in....but does he really want that? and should i marry him if it is going to stay this way for the rest of our lives?

Answer 1

Is he open for a discussion? Has he always had a low sex drive? Those are the important questions to be asked. He should speak with his doctor, it is very possible that his testosterone level is low or there is a medical condition at play. Could he possibly be depressed?


If you guys really love each other it's something you need to look into sorting out with the help of a doctor. If he is not willing to get help with his problem then you should ask yourself if you can stay in a relationship with someone who has a different sex drive. Some women can make that work, some women cannot.

You could also take classes.. even a massage class would help you become more intimate. Even if there isn't penetration some sort of physical intimacy would be helpful, correct?

Answer 2

Sounds like he's a closet homosexual and only sticking around and going through the motions because of the children. 4-5x in 5 months (about 10-12x a year)? Came up short on Valentines Day because he figured the candy and chocolate would make up for lack of intimacy.

If your this unhappy now, what makes you think marriage will make it better? When you get married, your suppose to commit to someone for the rest of your life. You prepared to be unhappy and sexually unfulfilled for the rest of your days? I would avoid getting married – it's a disastrous divorce within six months at best. In my book, 4x-5x a week would be awesome, but for the month would be average. This is from a person that would go 2x a day, every day of the year.