My husband is an alcoholic. he has admitted to using a prostitute twice and this week has told me he has been chatting to an ex on the phone every friday for two years. he says there is nothing going on. I want him to admit that he wouldnt accept it from me ie. it's wrong, but he just screams that i won't let it go???? help! advice?
2007-02-15 09:49:12 · 27 answers · asked by saddo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in a horrible situation with your husband, obviously he needs help, if you leave him he will deteriorate with the drink, but he should not expect you to put up with him using a prostitute and being in touch with an ex for two years. I would handle it by telling him I will stand by him if he comes off the bottle, and I would give him three months to see if he was trying hard, if not I would have to call it a day. You have enough going on with him with his drinking without him throwing all the rest at you. Good luck to you this is a hard question and you know he will go down hill fast if you leave but it is not your fault you are not pouring the drink down his neck.
2007-02-15 09:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you serious, Girl? Should you leave? Um....I think you already know the answer to that. You should have already left. The only thing worse than staying in a bad relationship for a year is staying in a bad relationship for a year and one day! (Dr. Phil)
If he keeps doing these things, you have to get out and find what you deserve, or shut up and put up with this until he decides to grow up, which may be never. He's an alcoholic, a liar, a cheater, and a player. Do you want to sentence yourself to that? I know it hurts and hurts bad, but there comes a time when we have to stand up for ourselves, put our big-girl panties on, and MAKE our life what WE know we deserve it to be....and this may mean dropping some "dead weight" along the way. We do not have to entangle ourselves with people that are not good for us. It's really all up to you.
2007-02-15 18:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you waiting for?
He admits getting hookers??
he's online talking with an ex for 2 years?
What more do you need?
You want him to admit something?
women are amazing, you think he is actually going to admit anything? You want to wait until you "know for sure" he wants his ex?
Cmon girl, show some self pride, you deserve better.
It sucks, but as long as you wait around for him to admit anything, or to get definate proof of something, he just makes a fool of you.
He knows that as long as you don't get some kind of admission from him, you are going anywhere, and he will use that for as long as he can.
Don't be a statistic, dont be like all the other thousands of women that won't take the steps they need to to get out of a bad relationship and just get used and degraded.
Do what you gotta do
2007-02-15 18:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem committed to the marriage, does he? Aside from being an alcoholic, which shouldn't in itself be grounds for divorce. But if you get no benefit from the relationship, I'd say it's not worth maintaining. I don't hold with this "for richer, for poorer" stuff. If there is not reason for keeping it together, I fail to see how churches should demand that you should live out your days in misery.
2007-02-15 17:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should, because he has been cheating on you with prostitutes, he's an alco and he obviously still has issues letting go of his ex. Aren't you done with getting hurt? He will do it again.
2007-02-15 17:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave leave leave.....
Don't bother waiting for him to admit anything.........one word...PROSTITUTE....sorry, but he needs to go..or you need to go, either way, get rid of this man!!!!!!
One thing about alcoholics....you have to be cruel to be kind. No doubt he will make you feel sorry for him if you chuck him out or leave, but you need to be strong and not be the one to back down and help him. He will only help himself when you refuse to do it for him!!
2007-02-15 17:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by sarahscarah78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Physically nothing may be going on, but emotionally something is. Should you leave? Only you can decide that, it depends on how badly you want to degrade your self esteem before you gather your pride and move on. I would ask him to go to AA, and the two of you go to marriage counseling. If he is not willing, you have a choice to make...
Good luck.
2007-02-15 17:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
of course you should leave, why put up with this man who obviously has no respect for you, changed mine got myself a wonderful husband I used to have a lot of verbal abuse I am better than that and got out ,as you should get a happy life babe you deserve so much better
2007-02-15 18:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by susan will of the wisp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not say if you have children or not. If you do, do you really want to subject them to this man and his alcoholism? If not, run for your life anyway, or better still, throw him out, until he hits rock bottom he will not help himself.
2007-02-15 18:08:52 · answer #9 · answered by stephchapman1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, sure, you can let it - and him - go. Bail as soon as possible, get checked for diseases (from the prostitute and anyone else he's been with) and move on, quickly.
2007-02-15 17:55:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋