Is she right?

Question

My roommate and I don't get along. She's needy, overly-talkative, and doesn't think before she speaks or acts. Whenever I let it go, she does something else stupid. One day, we were talking about it and she says that my problem is that I expect everyone to know what they should and shouldn't say. Obviously, not everyone says the right thing but I do feel that there are a bunch of things that you just KNOW not to say. Now, I am starting to think what she said holds some truth.

Over winter break, I decided to get some state ID. Instead of just getting a regular ID, I decided to study the driver's manual and get a permit. When I returned to school, I told her. She said ,"You didn't have a license?" I replied, "No, I am 18, from NYC, there's a subway on every block, there's a bunch of traffic and car insurance for me would be ridiculous." (She knows that my family has no money.)

What's her response?

"Well, I think of people who don't have a license as babies. Whenever I hear someone say they don't have a license, I think that they just need to like grow up and move out of their parents house."

???

Maybe she's right when I expect people to know that some things are just inappropriate but I just can't believe that she actually thinks that what she said wasn't offensive. She says things like this all the time and because of it, I find myself annoyed all the time, or when I am hanging with people I actually enjoy, I just complain about her and her stupid comments or actions. (Another time was her seeing that I was watching a movie and deciding that what she had to tell me about a party she came from was extremely important and shouting "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SO ******* AWESOME!)

What do you think? Am I really expecting too much from people or are these things that people just know not to do?

Answer 1

Shes clearly has a condition known as "Attention Deficit Disorder" and is very inconsiderate of other people. Her selfishness is a learned behavior. Probably from parents and or siblings or over exposure to like piers.

Answer 2

For one thing, find another room mate. This will build until you can not take it any longer.
Now for your room mate. Some people just never learn social graces or have the capabilities of it. This is just how it is going to be. Really, is the person stupid... who the heck needs a license in NY.

Answer 3

I think people should watch what they say and be concerned that the responses they give aren't hurtful. I do think we should look at this from a whole different angle though. All relationships are mirrors, so why does she bother you so much? Have you in the past said some things you regret? By your ranting about her are you not like her? Just a thought.

Answer 4

You friend is an airhead! She'll rationalize that she is just going to say what she thinks and not care about what other people think. This may be progressive thinking but it always has a way of catching up to people. She will have difficulty holding down jobs and/or relationships. Do bother about trying to change her, She has to learn the hard way, just give her time.

Answer 5

From your description your not expecting too much nad your roomate just isnt being nice. If she thinks its baby- like to not have a liscense then she could have said it nicer than she did. Sometimes you might think your expecting too much nad it might be true during some points. At that time you just need to ask your self if its a reasonable thing to be expecting that person to now what nad what nto to say . Good Luck with your roomate!

Answer 6

You are annoyed and you don't mesh with her, I don't think you expect a lot from others I just don't think she is your cup of tea. How you handle this is really how I would determine if you are mean or if you just can't take a person who can't take a hint. Maybe try to talk to her again if you have already otherwise I would suggest changing roommates.

Answer 7

I have a room mate too but I choose not to tell her everything that goes on in my life as she gets too involved . I do have my own room and tend to watch a movie in there. I am nice to her I say good morning etc. and if something needs to be done I do help but that is it. When I spend time with my friends she is forgotten.

Answer 8

Just tell her your are not ready for a regular ID yet! If that does not work then move into another dorm.

Answer 9

first of all ket me ask you , have you or have you not ever said anything even remotely offensive to her ? odds are the answer is yes , therefore you should not worry about her offensive remarks. besides your handle is deeply demented and if i know anything about demented people they dont sweat the small stuff they get jiggy with dementing .

Answer 10

hellooooo,welcome to my club!!You are expecting much from people!Don't forget that we are surrounded by morons,so how they should know what to speak about and when!All our live some freaks will annoy us,so just get used and don't pay attention on her!