I'm 18 years old, I have a part time job, etc. I had a pack of cigarettes in my purse that she found and she freaked out. Like always, she told me i couldn't smoke anymore or she wouldn't pay for my college. That turned into her also saying that if I wanted to live by my own rules, that I could move out. She says I have attitude, that i disrespect her guests (her boyfriend: and i do), and i'm not responsible. I hate her boyfriend for many reasons that are VALID, but she refuses to listen. She says that I have no right to be rude. etc. After the cigarette incident today she threatened to take my car away, and set up new rules. I now have to be polite to guests, not come home late anymore, and have to go to church with her every sunday. I'm a high school senior. I just want to feel like I have freedom over my OWN life. I should be able to go out when i want. etc. I can't support myself, but i need freedom. What do I do?
2007-02-15 09:36:07 · 14 answers · asked by saphireyes718 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is what I did. I turned 18 and said sayonara people. I moved out on my own. Then had MY OWN rules. Did whatever I wanted to. Which actually was funny because I was better on my own then with them, as in didn't party all night, was responsible, etc. Anyway, if you won't respect her rules in her house then it time to move on OUT.
2007-02-15 09:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie P 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is a sticky question to answer but I will try my best. I am a mother (36 years old) So old enough to be your parent. I am not sure why your mom is running your life but I would say maybe one thing is that you are still in High School. She should give you some freedom yes she should have never gone in your purse to begin with but have you ever given her any reason not to trust you before. maybe your mom is just being overprotective and does not want you to smoke. If you do live with your mother you should respect her guests even though you do not like them but you do live in her house so you should respect the guest jsut as she should respect you and your guest. Ifthe only bad thing you do is smoke and your mom is going to not pay for you college than she is way overboard I think you and your mom need to have mother daughter day and jsut the two of you talk and get your feelings out and lay everything on the line. Youa re a young lady (adult) and you both need respect. Going to Church is not all that bad but again that should be your choice if you are 18. Maybe you could check into getting a roommate or roommates and get an apartment and share the expenses they also have scholarships and student loans for students to go to college maybe you can check into them.
I wish you the best of Luck!
2007-02-15 09:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you live under her roof with her supporting you...you will have to live by her rules. You shouldn't smoke due to health issues...you can be polite to her boyfriend without being friendly. You will graduate soon, then will be away at college (unless you commute)...try to get a job where you can afford to move out on your own even if it's with a roomate. If that isn't an option...maybe you could live with a grandparent or other trusted relative. You can apply for grants and student loans for college, so she really shouldn't use that as a way to control you
2007-02-15 10:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate that you come under the umbrella that is your mom is holding the purse string, and making you dance to her tune. At least we know who is the adult in this picture.If I were you I would be doing every thing I could to get out on my own, and if that means working full time and going to school part time so be it. Because in this case you can only have one or the other. And there is nothing you can do to make your mom change her mind, as a matter of fact if you tow the line like she wants it is a start to her doing this as an on going way to make you do as she wishes. You need to find a way to get out on your own and as soon as possible
2007-02-15 10:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are living with your mother and she's paying the bills, house rules are hers to make and yours to follow and that really is the bottom line. To make things a bit more comfy while you are at home, ask yourself why Mom freaked out over a pack of cigs in your purse. Could it be that she loves you and does not want to see you become addicted to nicotene which is a horrible drug and one that's very difficult to to break away from. So we have a mother that is tyring to bring you up to speak with respect to others. Hmmmm, is that really such a terrible lesson to learn? About the boyfriend, stay away from him as much as possible if you don't like him, but our of respect for Mom, try not to be rude to him. There's something Mom likes about him, so do this for her.
You get more freedom at home and more respect by working with your parents and by earning it. You don't demand it as that isn't your right. You earn a parents trust by learning to follow their rules. You earn their respect by showing repsect to them.
Some situations are really tough at home. I am not making light of that. You are a senior now. Just swing with the tide and you'll be off to college in no time.
2007-02-15 10:17:14 · answer #5 · answered by sistervoodoo2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have your freedom when you are totally SELF SUPPORTIVE that means living on your own with no help whatsoever from your mommy. In the meantime FOLLOW THE RULES.
As for smoking, you can look forward to bad breath, yellow teeth, premature aging, hacking cough with black phlegm and an array of other fun ailments, but the best of all is all kinds of CANCER (not just lung cancer), wow, you'll really be a pleasure to be around.
So maybe you should listen to your mom
2007-02-15 09:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you move out of her house you may live the life you choose. Until then, learn to respect your mother and be thankful you have a roof over your head, food to eat and a mom who cares.
If you can't support yourself, you have not EARNED the right to do what you want to do yet.
2007-02-15 09:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Prove yourself worthy and stop bad behavior.
Her actions are most likely based in love not an attempt to hurt or control you but to teach you to be proper for your own future well being. If you want Freedom and Respect, earn it.
and your actions are not earning a thing... either at home or out here.
2007-02-15 09:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? pita ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you live in her house, you abide by her rules. And you should NEVER disrespect your mother or her guests. To get respect from your mother you need to earn it first.
2007-02-15 11:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect your moms choices shes doing this for your own good. but do talk to her and tell her that you will follow the rules if she can give all the freedom you need. if she doesnt agree then keep insisting
2007-02-15 09:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋