Is this poem good for a 5th grade contest?

Question

I want you to know

I hope these summer days
sure do go away soon
I want to see your pretty face
and that pink carrying case
I just want you to know
no matter if your feeling high or low
I'll still be here for you
Even when the warm rays come
Because I'll forever stay and wait for you
I want you know that I wake up on this brand new day
and I all ways think of the dreams I had of us
laughing with our friends
without a care in our mind
I want you to know that you are so kind

Answer 1

Pretty good start - poetry is all about trimming and refining. these are the stronger parts to me

I hope these summer days
sure do go away soon
I want to see your pretty face
and that pink carrying case
I just want you to know
no matter if your feeling high or low
I'll still be here for you
*Love is a tie that will bind* *you friendship is the best kind*
laughing with our friends
without a care in our mind

Answer 2

No idea what 5th grade corresponds to but my 2 pence worth:
a) avoid the first person - sounds too self-obsessed
b) if you can imagine it in a Clintons card you're on the wrong track
c) think visually. The most intriguing element is the pink carrying case - if you were shooting it you'd probably start there and pull out to reveal the particular charms of its owner. Write it like that and you have developing story - as it stands its a bit like 'you're great. And, er, you're great etc etc.
Good luck

Answer 3

I think it is. The pink carrying case is sort of weird. What fifth grader calls it a carrying case?

Answer 4

it doesnt rhyme but not every poem does its ok if you didnt copy it from someone and you personally did it.