Frustrated with my wife who is never home, can you help?

Question

My wife is an active christian who goes to church and christian meetings every day and night until 12 to 1 midnight, and full day and night on weekends. we both work full time but because she is never home, I tend to work more from 9 am until 10 pm. Even when she is home, she either has male friends from the church "as she considers herself very cool about guys" and never cooks or cleans at all unless she has a favorite guest.

I am very devoted and loyal, and don't want to cheat or break my marriage. I am not saying she ever cheats on me, but I can see that she is equally interested in me and everybody else, and the fact that I am the person to clean and cook, or the house is empty of food or quite messy, she seems like a very selfish wife to me.

I have talked about his christian meetings and how I feel about church but she seems not to care.

Can you help?

Answer 1

Your wife is totally disrespecting you as her husband and you should not have to put up with this no matter her reason for involving herself with her church. There is no church that teaches a wife to be neglectful of her husband. Get her and yourself to counsel with the minister of the church. If she refuses to go, then you have some tough decisions to make. Remember, as long as you allow her to treat you with such total disregard, she will continue to do so.

Answer 2

It seems as if something is a little fishy. It's totally okay for a person to be involved with activities outside of the home, especially church activities, however, I can't see what they could be doing every day of the week, all day long until the early morning. There isn't that much praying in the world.

She sounds a little selfish to me. Why would you want to leave your mate alone every night of the week? That's called neglect. I mean I would sit down and talk to her and tell her that she is going to have to divide some of her time up. Spend three nights at week doing church stuff and spend the other four with you.

Answer 3

Hello,

First of all i feel bad that she is never home for you when you need her there the most. She needs to learn to be home with you more. Does her pastor know about your marriage and what is happening in it? I suggest you call the pastor of her church and talk to them about this and what is going on and ask them to pray with you about this situation. You should come above her friends from church and she should be home with you at least 3 nights a week. She also needs to cook and clean and you can do some of this as well. She does seem very selfish and this is not right. Sit down and talk with her about how you are feeling and be honest with her about things. I also recommend you both go to a marriage counselor and seek help for this. Also go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email Jimmy and Karen Evans with your concerns and details and see what they have to say and offer to help you with. I wish you the best and hope that things get better for you and your marriage soon.

Answer 4

Bro, the only thing that i can tell you is that she seems like one of those women that thrive off of receiving attention.... try this... you stop cleaning and cooking and all that and she if she notices... and just because it is a church function does not mean that it is not wrong, but i am sure that you know that already.... look back in history.... if this does not work, then you have to decide if this is really what you want and make her understand that you are very serious and dont take the excuses of "its a church function"... because you are obviously tired of being without her.... you can be without her single also.... hope this helps.... just a few options

Answer 5

If you have told her how you felt, and that doesn't work, try marriage counseling. If that doesn't work, maybe it's not meant to be. From what you wrote, it seems like there are a lot of problems in your relationship. No real communication, commitment, or togetherness. If she's not willing to have a successful marriage, then you need to be with someone who is. Who feels the same way that you do. My husband and I both work full time, but the times we are not working, we are almost always together. We try to spend as much time as possible together. I just think you need to have a long discussion with her, and if things don't improve, well, you have to decide whether or not you want to stay in a marriage like that. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

She does seem kind of selfish..Have you tried talking to her about it?? She should be there for you also. Its great that she is devoting some time to the church but she also has a husband. Your marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Its horrible that only one person is in this marriage. She should take your feelings into consideration about this. She needs to start doing things also. If she doesnt care to change then she really doesnt care about the marriage. This is not fair to you. Very unfair to you. In a way, I felt that way about my husband that he wasnt always there but after alot of talking he has changed. If things do not work out for you maybe you should consider other things. Tell her that you wont tolerate it and you need her help. If she still refuses then you should find someone who will be there for you. Good luck

Answer 7

i would be worried. a true christian woman knows that her place is in the home (not chined to the sink) but caring for her family. However important church is the Bible clearly states that your family is priority especially as the woman. You are the head of the home and she is clearly disrespecting you.

My concern is why she is so active. who is trying to prove hersef too (is she really insecure) or is the 'church' a cover for other extra curricular activities. t would be the first time its happened.

take her away for a weekend away from church and have a good heart to heart and if she doesnt change you will have to cut your losses. technically you could divorce her on grounds of desertion (emotional desertion) amnd this is biblical

all the best whatever the outcome

Answer 8

Doesn't your wife know 'Charity begins at home'? Loving thy neighbour as yourself doesn't mean you have to be with them 24 x 7. She is either obsessed with religion or playing you for the fool. If she will not sit down and talk this through with you don't be doing the cleaning, cooking etc. Do for yourself and leave her to hers. Sounds childish but it may make her come to her senses and realise she is being neglectful to the person she should be caring most for.

Answer 9

Meetings every night till midnight? Sounds suspect to me. I would be suspicious about her activities and would ask to go along with her. I think you are either making the whole thing up for a laugh or are very naive.

Answer 10

As a Christian woman myself, I know my duties to my husband (to be) are to be loyal, a good wife who looks after him - cooks, cleans, looks after the house (not in a 1950's way but as someone who wants him to have the best) supports him, to be his rock, satisfy him sexually. Remind her of that, she should know where to find that scripture in the bible (Corinthians & others - can't remember at the moment!) Tell her it's not right for a Godly Christian woman to leave her husband as much as she does, it's not responsible.

God bless. Well done for being stable and loyal.