I love him with all my heart, no we don't have any kids together, but I still want to be in the relationship with him.
Should I let him go and be happy ?
Or continue to try and maybe I can change his mind?
2007-02-15 08:46:06 · 30 answers · asked by Berryblue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OUCH!!! let him go and move on. Don't force yourself with somebody who prefers to be with somebody with a rod than a hole. See the logic?
2007-02-15 09:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He has always been gay and probably married you because it was the acceptable thing to do in the eyes of society. You will never change him.....he likes men and thats all there is to it. He also probably loves you, but only as a friend....it can never be anything more, so let him go and let him go with an honest heart, and maybe you two will retain the friendship part of your marriage.
You love him, sure, but it is one sided, and it will never ever be a marriage that will make you ultimately happy. Let him go, do your healing, then rejoin life again and I guarantee you will find a man who can make you ten times happier than how you thought you were with your current husband.
My heart goes out to you....Love lost is a terrible thing at the best of times, but in your case I dont think anything will change his sexual orientation.....no, not even counselling. You are best to cut your losses now, than to hang onto something that will never work. You are best to do it as soon as possible so you can start the healing process which will enable you to eventually meet and love someone else just as passionately.
2007-02-15 08:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. This is not the man you want to have kids with. If he wants to be with anyone else then trying to change his mind will only do the opposite. If you happen to be Catholic your in a very good position to annul the marriage. You're not going to turn this one around. As a matter a fact the quicker you try to fade this person out of your life the more of a chance he will have second thoughts about what he's doing. Be strong and self-sufficient as quickly as you can. You can't force your husband to change. You can only change yourself.
2007-02-15 08:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's made up his mind already, so help him pack & wish him well. I can only imagine how you must feel, but you have to be strong as best as you can, & move on. Trust me, I don't think anything you say will make him change his mind. This must be the ultimate slap in the face for you. Being left for another woman is one thing, but leaving you for another man? I can't even imagine that. I wish you all the best in the world. Someday, a man will come along & love you & be faithful to you & you alone. I wish you all the best.
2007-02-15 09:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can make him change his mind. This happens a lot and it's very sad.
Keep your self esteem, let him go and cherish his friendship. I know this will be very difficult to do. You're best bet for a happy life long term is to move on to someone who is heterosexual.
You may have had inklings of this situation but ignored them, don't beat yourself up. This is nobody's fault.
Find friends and family that will be supportive and move on. Good luck, treat yourself very well in the coming months and try not to blame him. This is one of those very unavoidable sad life situations that will really test your character.
Pass the test and know that in a while you will be happy again.
Take care.
2007-02-15 08:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lori 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can't turn a man mind when it comes to something like that. Unfortunetly this is who he is. If he stays know he will proboaly cheat on u behind ur back 4 ever and he defiently is now. Be happy u know now because HIV is out there and men don't use condoms very often.
Be happy u have no children so now u can go on with ur life and be happy with someone who loves and holds unumber one in his life.
2007-02-15 08:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by lamikashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are husband and wife have a last chance
serious talk with him and if he still wishes to be with the
other man, then you need to start thinking what will make
you happy in life and if he can't make you happy then
you still have your life ahead of you . Think about it and
move on if you find out it would be better for you as it
looks like he knows what he wants. Good luck.
2007-02-15 14:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always this famous line that's said in the movies...
"If you love him, let him go..." (Usually it's "her" and not "him".)
He just doesn't want to be with you, you're not his "type," he wants ot be with a man. If you loved him and wanted him to be happy, and you don't feel angry or sad at him for leaving you, then let him go.
Can you be happy? I think if you choose to, you can. I don't think you can change his mind. He's made up his mind already.
I think it takes a lot of strength to let go of the person you're in love with so that they can be happy...it's such a selfless sacrifice, you're thinking of the other person's well being, even after they've rejected you.
I hope that you don't think less of love after this and know that you will yet find another man to complete you and with whom you'll be happy forever.
2007-02-15 09:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Querida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't want to still be in the marriage relationship with this man. Honey, he likes men, you cannot change his mind. You need to divorce. If you can accept him and his life with other men then maybe he can still be your best friend, but husband, no. Sorry.
2007-02-15 08:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is truly what he wants, you need to let him go. You will probably always love him in some way, and he will love you, just not in a way that you need to fulfill your life. You two need to find a way to depart friends, so that neither of you feel guilty or unworthy. You both deserve a shot at love and happiness, and I do not see that happening given the current conditions. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-15 08:53:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you stupid? well duh, let his *** go you know how much of a risk your taking by being with him and if he wanted you he wouldn't of asked for a divorce. he's gay get over him, I know it will take a while to get over but its better to know and be safe then find out later on when you catch him in the act or find out you have HIV. I have nothing against gay people but i have seen several shows true stories of situations like this. you cant change his mind . do you really think he would take a cock up his butt if he wasn't sure he wanted a man. Honey a reality check he was using you as away to keep himself on the down low and now that he's comfortable with his sexuality he letting it be known. Sorry if i offended you or other gay people by my comment.
2007-02-15 08:58:50 · answer #11 · answered by tired22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋