teen ager problem?

Question

I have an 18 year old son who is a senior this year. Of late I have been getting notes from teachers that he is not doing assignments, and then today I get a call from his little part time job that he was lat coming in to work yestereday saying that he did kno he was on the schedule and that when he was there, he just stood and let the other people do the work. This is a really good kid, not concerned about drugs or anything and nothing going on his home life. Very active in missions work with church. Just not sure how to handle him. Is he too old for me to tighten the reigns on? Any suggestions on how to help him with developing better habits and responsibility?

Answer 1

Since he's 18 and legally an adult, I think it's very unprofessional of his job/workplace to call and talk to YOU about his work performance. He's not a child, and should NOT be treated like one. Maybe that's his problem? If people continue to treat him like a child, he'll continue to act like one. Next time his manager or whoever calls you to tell you of his behavior or work performance, just tell them that they need to speak to HIM about it.

The only thing I suggest you DO is have a chat with him. Ask him how he is, how he feels his life is going, and remind him he can always talk to you. You could even remind him that he's an adult now and fast-approaching the "outside adult world", and that a good work ethic goes a loooong way in life. Or perhaps he's feeling super stressed because he already realizes that and that's why he's taken a step back in school and at work...maybe he's second-guessing himself or doubting that he's dependent enough to go out on his own?

But yeah, he needs to be treated as an adult. Don't "tighten the reigns" or tell him what to do or nag him...just remind him and make sure he's aware of his responsibilities as a young man in this world today.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Tell him who has talked to you (teachers and bosses) and what they said. Ask him, 'What's up?' Tell him that he has to cut the missions work with the church because you are assuming that he has too much to do right now. Being a good student and being a good employee are too important to let slide. Tell him it's just a temporary thing - when school and work are back on track, he can resume church mission work. Tell him that if the problem doesn't correct itself by this rearrangement of priorities, you are going to suspect drug use or some other clandestine habit. Give him a time frame - 3 months, for example, to see how this goes. Ask him his opinion, of course, but tell him that this is the course of action you are taking with him. 3 months is not a long time and he should get his priorities straight by then.

Answer 3

Since he's 18, you could have a frank, mature talk with him about the notes from school and his work. I would tell him that he is adult, but he still lives with you, so you feel like you need to speak with him. Try not to accuse, and if he flies off the handle, keep your cool. Stress that even though he is getting ready to graduate, he still needs to take care of his business and that if he needs some help, you are here for support. If he doesn't want any help, it might be time to cut the cord and let him fly on his own. Good luck, it's a tough situation.

Answer 4

He sounds depressed to me. And I wouldn't rule out drugs, either.

He needs a check up with his doctor, probably. He's probably feeling much more pressure than he can handle and is worried about his future and his role. Start with the doctor. The doctor might suggest someone that your son can talk to about what's eating him (don't assume that he'll come running to you with anything that's bothering him--adolescence is all about breaking the apron strings).

If he's a good kid, then don't start punishing him until you know what's wrong. Maybe this time Mom and Dad don't have all the answers (or the church, either, for that matter).

Answer 5

you should give a speech that concerns probably everyone. you might know about it. Teenage pregnancy is an unresolved problem to every country. Even if the people tries to prevent it, it is still up to the people concerning this pregnancies, to try and stop this from happening. It is up to the teenagers to respect their selves and others and their names too. Or something like that. I'm So tired na but I like answering this kind of questions. :)

Answer 6

There is something you can do. Sit down and talk to him, ask if he's having problems with anything, and can you help. You know, even though he's 18, he is still your son. You could also talk with his father, pastor or maybe even his friends. Just because he may be an adult, doesn't mean he doesn't need guidance.

Answer 7

have you talked to him a lot goes through a childs mind at eighteen he is on the verge of adulthood and may not know how to take it. he may as well be burned out and needs a change of his schdule. talk to him and most of all listen to his goals his thoughts whats going on with him as well as exercise the need for patience with him. there are things as a parent that you can tell him now and he wont understand until 2,3,4,5 years from now.!

Answer 8

Sounds like your parenting skills are a little weak. I suggest letting him have a life without them reporting his every move to momma after all he is 18 isn't he?

Answer 9

Something must be wrong. Take him out for lunch. Have a talk and see what's going on.

Answer 10

hes too old to be punished so ide talk to him and let him
know hes now an and needs to take responsibility
for his actions good luck!