Are there any Egyptians that can give me their perspectives?

Question

I would like to hear from Egyptians about dating Westerners. I have been dating an Egyptian guy for a little while now and we are spending a lot of time getting to know each other. So far we haven't come across any serious barriers in terms of cultural differences etc. I am just wondering if anyone else has any experience with this type of intercultural dating? What do you think would be the biggest barriers? He is from Alexandria, can you tell me anything about what type of city this is (conservative, liberal etc.)? Are there any big cultural differences between Egyptian culture and that of other Middle Eastern countries? What are some things that I should consider or definitely ask him about to help me determine a little more about our compatibility?

Most Westerners believe this intercultural pairing is a joke and will never work because Middle Eastern men only want to use and abuse Western women. Is there any feedback from a Middle Eastern perspective out there?

Smiley puff 2006--- Your answer doesn't make any sense. Middle Eastern men want to make women their slaves, yet your Pakistani fiance gives you the world, and you hope he will change his ways? You might want to clarify what you are trying to convey...

I realize that this would not happen in Egypt. Maybe some people have the attitude of 'when in Rome do as the Romans do'.

Well just as a folloup for those of you who might be wondering... I did not meet this man on the Internet; he lives and works in my city here in the US.

Thanks for all of your perspectives and advice. They have given me a lot more to consider. Ciao!

Answer 1

I have already answered your other question about this issue, but I would like to add some more words here.

You got so many warnings and I can see from your update that it gave you a lot of thinking material. I would like to give you a warning of different kind: you should (of course) consider all said here (and anywhere else), but don't let anything discourage you about your relationship just like that.

Obviously, some people who answered your question(s) were just spreading prejudice or making nonsense. But I believe you can easily recognize that kind of answers and distinguish them from the rest of answers you got.

Another thing, you got many good advice here, but please, keep in mind that what most people are talking about here is some kind of a mainstream in Egyptian culture and about Egyptian people. But just like any other people, they are not all of the same kind. I myself have met some Egyptians that would never fit in any stereotype of them at all.

What I am trying to say is that you don't have to worry only because something is not going the way it usually does. For example, most of Egyptians don't date, but some do, and even though they are tiny minority, that means you don't have to be suspicious about dating itself. From this perspective, not introducing you (yet) to his family (just an example) doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. Most of Egyptians will introduce a girl to their family only when they have serious plans with her. So, he might be waiting to get to know you better and for your relationship to become (more) serious. My advice would be to learn as much as you can about his culture and religion, but, as I already said in another answer of mine, only to understand better his acts and never to generalize him in any way.

Also, as your guy has been living in your country for some time (you didn't write for how long), he is probably familiar with your culture at least to some extent.

Finally, you say that you two haven't come across any serious barriers in terms of cultural differences so far, so there are good chances for your compatibility.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Follow up every detail of what Nana has told you. These are things you must know.
Any hesitation to tell you the truth should give you your answer.
I work in tourism in Egypt,and at least twice every year I have a broken hearted Westerner to deal with. When she finds out the truth about the guy she has fallen for.
She is going to be a second wife, or it becomes obvious the guy just wants out of Egypt,various scenarios happen.
Not all egyptian men are like that.They are the minority.
I have some very honorable male Egyptian friends. But they are also aware that this goes on far too much, and the girls always seem to fall for it!
If it was just a holiday or its an internet romance only, be very,very careful.
Egyptian men are very charming.

Answer 3

I am egyptian, and from alexandria too, and he probably will tell u its a beautiful city, cuz it is. its a very modern city, like cairo. my husband is egyptian too, but i understand where ur coming from, because i am egyptian only cuz my parents are, but i was born and raised in southern california, my husband for example is from mansura, which isnt a very liberal and modern and westernized as alexandria and cairo are, but he is not what u might think, he's very liberal and not controlling or abusive and complelty understands that im a western women and im different than most girls he knew previoulsy. im sure your boyfriend knows that too. so he should treat you as an american not an egyptian, its not they treat egyptian women badly, but tend to be more protective and consservative with them. you will find cultural differences ofcourse but nothing that cant be worked with. if you ever go to egypt with him you will be able to know him a little better and understand his point of view. just make it clear to him that the only way this relationship will work is if u two compromise. egyptian men are very passionate and love effection, and romance. they can be stubborn at times, but are easily persuaded. theres no big differences. but they do demand respect by there women, dont bow down or anything but show respect for there culture and up bringing. i hope this helps and i wish u luck. and by the way guys from alexandria are always sweet and have a great sense of humor.

Answer 4

I'm not Egyptian, but I'm a western woman married to one for 5 years. If your guy is muslim, I find it strange that he would be dating you in the first place. Dating doesn't exsist in Islam. Either they see you as a potential life partner (wife) and make their intention known early on or most times you're just wasting your time. My husband's from a smaller city and they tend to be much more religious there than the big cities.

I've only been to Alexandria once, but there is a range of views/ideas ranging from liberal to conservative and everything in between. To get at his personal standpoint you're probably going to have to find out more about his family and his upbringing. Does he family pray, fast, and observe other tenets of Islam? How do the women in his family dress? Would it be acceptable for them to dress differently? Has anyone else in the family married outside their culture/religion? How would his family feel about him marrying outside the culture/religion? Have other people in his family dated before marriage or instead of marriage? Most importanly, does his family know about you? Have they seen or spoken to you before? If his family doesn't know about you, that's a VERY bad sign. In terms of compatibility in the future you might want to know his views on raising children and whether or not he'd expect them to be raised muslim or given a choice? Money issues are also a big topic. Will he be expected to send money home to his family and if so how much? The answer to this is probably yes and a lot of times it will be without your knowledge as most Egyptian men I've encountered feel a huge responsibility to their family even after establishing their own. Particularly if they are living in the west and having a better standard of living than their family back home.

Sometimes you cannot see the differences until you are actually living together and things will naturally come up that you'd otherwise have no way of knowing about. I hope this helps some.

Answer 5

You have really bank of opinions and ideas here and in your other question too. I am Egyptian and I will add to my answer there ... That you must come to Egypt, know many Egyptian friends and visit Alexandria. I think it's a new idea and may be interesting to you.
I think many Egyptian friends (males & females) who is answering may be accepting messages and welcome you as a friend if you need to know more about Egyptians and understand them.

Answer 6

Listen to Nana. She gave you a realistic point of view. Again, i would like to attract your attention to the fact that the words Egyptian and Muslim don't mean much. I know some Muslims who don't practise any of the tenets of Islam and some who practise everything.
However, we don't "date". If there is dating , it is supposed to be for a short period of time "a month" atmost. After that we get engaged to the person we like. The engagement period is the equivalent of "dating". It's supposed to be a period when you both learn more about eachother and decide whether marriage is the right step to do.

Answer 7

Hi listen
you cant gudge the people with race or something like that......middle eastern have their own cluture which is different from western......but believe me if you are sure from the feeling if that guy go ahead......but be aware of that point muslim people really doesnt have dating so he might using you as method to get paper and travel abroad
take care

Answer 8

I think what smily puff means is that middle eastern men try to make their women as slaves, but she loves her pakistani man for other reasons and wishes that he will change his ways about treating women.
I belive that mMOST Middle Eastern men only want to use and abuse Western women, not all of them, of course. you just gotta figure that out about your man.

Answer 9

I also had to say that Nana gives you the best advice

Answer 10

all Egyptians are conservatives except for the men having 4 wives