Why do some people feel that a couple should automatically be enaged (or even married!) after a certain number of years together. I've been with my bf for 3 and we're not engaged. I'm starting to accept the fact that we aren't ready quite yet. I don't think that he doesn't want to or doesn't love me as much as the other couples who are engaged after 3 yrs. I think age has a lot to do with it. We're 21 ish. so being together for 3 yrs at this point in our lives is a little different than being together for 3 yrs when the people are 27 and have their careers and life already in order.. Does that make sense? I don't really want answers for my situation specifically. Just what you think about the "time limit" on getting engaged/married. Thanks.
2007-02-15 08:28:14 · 14 answers · asked by Amanda 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife and I were wed 7 years to the day we met. On our honeymoon we were on a cruise ship sharing a dinner table with 4 other newlywed couples. Every one of them had known each other less than 2 years before getting married. I would not be suprised to learn they are all divorced now.
My wife and I are coming up on 6 years married (13 years together ).
2007-02-15 08:57:45 · answer #1 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've a great answer I think. Timing for a couple has nothing to do with anything, it's when you both are ready etc. I remember being in my 20s and worried that I'd never settle dow and have a family. Then I got into my 30's where I am now, and I'm not worried at all about it. I think you both know when it's right. Plus, it's OK to be together for however long and not be married. It's what society expects of us etc...and then we feel guilty or something for going 'against the grain". I've never married and people used to ask when i was going to settle down, I just say, I'm not sure yet =) Heck; you can be engaged for ten years and still no plans to tie the knot. It's whatever YOU TWO want to do! Best wishes!
2007-02-15 16:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because if you are mature (you're not--you're a baby until about 25-26), then after a couple of years you should be able to determine what their character and attitude is and make a judgement about whether or not this thing is going for the long haul. Of course, the guy will almost never be the first one to broach the subject.
At 21, you should be in no hurry, IMO. You both have some changing to do.
2007-02-15 16:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess I have opposing view points on it. On one hand I don't think that everyone has to abide by some time limit that has been set by other people and their sense of what's appropriate.
On the other hand, I think after you've been with someone for several years and you still aren't planning on getting married then the chances are good that you never will...Technically you really don't have to get married anyway. It's more of a contractual deal. Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell...they've been together for many years and never got married and they are happy with that...
2007-02-15 16:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think people set arbitrary and/or artificial limits on all kinds of things in this life. I suppose it gives them a sense of security to know what comes next and it helps to define what is generally accepted in our society.
I personally never buy into artifical limits or other people's expectations. Nothing is written in stone, and just because other people do it a certain way doesn't mean that I have to.
2007-02-15 16:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion there is no time limit. Don't listen to what others tell you. It's up to both of you if you are ready or not. It's a big step and can cause a lot of heartache if it doesn't work out. Trust me I've been there, done that! Take your time and make sure it's what you both want! Good luck to ya!âº
2007-02-15 16:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Amanda♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there really is no hard/fast rule of the amount of years. You are both young and have lots of time. I married when I was older (mid 30's) and my husband and both knew we wanted the commitment of marriage about 18 months after being together, and actually got married alittle over 2 years after we first met and began dating.
2007-02-15 16:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you're under 25, then it doesn't matter how long you've been together, there's no hurry to get engaged. If you're 26+ and been dating for 3 years and there's no engagement then something is wrong.
2007-02-15 16:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your age.
At your age, 3 years in NOT enough. I say, give it a couple of years more to make up your mind.
But when you are in your 30's and fouties....there is NO time for games. So I say, after 3 years together and no ring, is best to cut your losses and move on.
good luck
Good luck
2007-02-15 16:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
3 days works
2007-02-15 16:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by grant l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋