How do you deal with a spouse who "clams up" and won't talk for days and you don't know why??

Answer 1

OH, I cannot stand that! My hubby did that once early on in our marriage, and I told him that my attitude and behavior is directly related to his - when he's happy, I'm happy. When he's upset, I'm upset. Then I told him that when he doesn't talk to me, it makes me feel like I'm unwanted and if that were true, I'd leave. He got over his little tantrum really quick and that hasn't happened since. If you don't talk to him, he'll continue to think that his behavior is okay -- and it's up to you to let him know that it's not.

I wish you well!

Answer 2

By a person clamming up and refusing to talk to you for days is a form of pouting as a response to being angry in not getting their way. Only way to deal with this type of behaviour is to ignore it. As long as you show your spouse that pouting works by putting too much attention to it, then your spouse will will continue to do so. I know, I have a guy who does this aslo.. Just ignore the big baby and get busy with other things. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Sit down with him & tell him how his remaining silent is making you feel. This is no way for a grown adult to act & it's not fair to you either, because you must feel totally frustrated when he acts like this, which I think is totally childish in behavior. Was he like this before you married or is this new? This certainly isn't a way that I'd want to live, so think about what you want to do. If you have children, this is no life for children. They often assume that they did something wrong & will blame themselves. If you have no children, good, because your husband needs to grow up & learn how to communicate with you before it's too late.

Answer 4

i always found that when my ex clammed up he was trying to hide something. that doesn't mean it is the same thing as yours though...... just ask him what is on his mind and that your concerned.. some people tend to hold in so much..... try to get him to open up and that you need to talk this out. whatever it is

Answer 5

WOW im one of those people. Here is what my husband does.... He will ask several times what is wrong and then he just drops it. Then sometimes he goes out and ignores me. It makes me so mad that I want to talk because he is then ignoring me and i want to break the silence. Try that and hopefully it will work on them like it workes on me.

Answer 6

sit down and ask. Explain what it is doing to you, of your worries and tell her you love her no matter what is wrong. Say you are there when ever she wants to talk. IF she cant talk to you organise to see a councillor with her. Hope it works out

Answer 7

Don't talk to the spouse and maybe they'll get the hint.

Answer 8

I don't know why people play games like that in relationships. My husband tried playing that game with me in the very beginning. I told him how stupid and immature I thought it was and if he thought so little of our relationship to play those dumb games that I didn't want to be with him. He no longer does that.

Answer 9

I would replay the last time over in my mind when he was still speaking...what has happened? It is likely that you do know the reason for your partner's actions, after all. Is he depressed, stressed, or disgusted? make yourself available and SHOW him that you are.

Answer 10

there was a guy whose question i just answered. it might have been your hubby. you need to open lines of communication somehow or both of you will be miserable.