After we got married I gained some weight and I have not been able to lose it. It is in my stomach and it is really gross. I have been exercising and trying to eat better, but I am not losing the stomach. My husband gets jealous of men that have skinny wives and this is affecting our marriage because he resents me for gaining weight. He isn't attracted to me so he seeks out attractive women everywhere else.... you can imagine. I want to lose the stomach without surgery, but don't know how. I could use some advice there, and I could use advice about what I could do to make him fall in love with me again while I don't have a great body. I know he loves me, but I want him to be IN LOVE with all of me.
2007-02-15 08:23:21 · 21 answers · asked by Honeybunches 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
#1 Girlfriend, love is not only skin deep..Did he fall in love with the real you, the one inside? OR did he fall in love with a girl with a nice body? If he did the body he's not someone you need to love or be around. He's shallow and easily distracted to other women.. He should love you for who you are NOT for what you look like...
2007-02-15 08:28:16 · answer #1 · answered by tmjf461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in the ideal world your man would love you and be attracted to you no matter if you were 100 pounds or 300. But that's not the way it works. If you're not sure about how to eat better, try only consuming 10 calories per pound of your body weight (say if you weigh 150, don't eat more than 1500 calories a day). Exercise every day, whether it's at the gym or doing dvd's at home. Make sure it's 30-40 minutes of ard exercise. Ask for your husband's help in this too.
I know how this is. I struggled with anorexia for awhile and my husband flat-out told me he wasn't attracted to me when I was as thin and bony as I was. My marriage and my husband mean everything to me, so it was the push I needed.
Good luck!
2007-02-15 17:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make anyone fall in love with you, so don't try that one. Your husband either loves you, or he doesn't.
If you seriously want to lose weight, change your eating habits and start exercising. When women say they are "trying to eat better," it usually means they're trying to eat less of the too-much food they're already eating. You have to get off the trying-to-eat-better diet and change your eating habits. Weight Watchers has a good weight loss program with a built-in support system. Do some serious exercising as well.
If your husband cares for you and he sees you seriously working on the weight, he'll become more supportive of you. He might even join in the exercise sessions.
2007-02-15 17:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do women feel they are not allowed to seek help when loosing weight. You obviously have the right intentions here, and seem motivated. Go see a doctor. You may be fighting a loosing battle with the tummy bulge. I am guessing you had a baby, which can tear your stomach muscles so badly that only surgery will fix them. It's a medical proceedure, why be against it. And so what if it is for vanity. Men are visually stimulated and visually turned off. Sad but true. Seek help from a doctor or a personal trainer at a good gym. Don't give up yet.
2007-02-15 16:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Trying" to eat better is not going to cut it.
There is do or do not, there is no "trying".
Complaining about it is not going to make you loose weight eaither. there is no magic pill or magic diet that is going to make you lose the weight over night. The only thing that works is HARD WORK.
Yes, HARD WORK, that means having a plan and sticking to it. Instead of pigging on chips while watching Oprah, get out of the house and walk a mile. Walking in the mall while eating ice cream doesn't count.
Ged rid of all the snacks, candy and chips in the house.
Call Jenny Craig
Enroll in Curves , bally or your local gym.
Take the dogs for a DAILY walk.
Park your car and walk more.
Skip the salad dressing when eating salad.
Leave the dessert for the skinny ones
Stop eating when you feel like having seconds
Eat in moderation, is all about portion control
Stop drinking soda, try diet
Avoid BUFFET style restaurants at all costs! Is not about stuffing yourself like a thnaksiving turkey, is amount of the quality of food you eat.
No more fast food restaurants for you. This is nothing but grease and poison for your diet, say no to McDonalds.
Increase you fiber intake.
Drink more water.
Buy a short workout tape and do it daily.
Good luck
2007-02-15 16:45:28 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me. Start by finding a food weight loss program that you can do. I used weight watchers. Eat three meals a day 2 snack in between and alot of water. You MUST exercise and eat right. You cannot just target the stomach area. Get a picture that you want to look like use it for inspiration. Don't look to your husband for recognition. Try not letting him know what you are doing. Do this for yourself. I know how you feel because I've been there. He is only looking elsewhere to scare and motivate you. You can do this!!! If you get crazy and want to talk just e mail answers and we'll help. Good Luck!!!
2007-02-15 16:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is shallow he should love you no matter what you look like. I think that you should if you feel the need get in shape by a gym and a diet by a dietitian or Jenny Creg. This should help you, but I don't think that you should be accepting that there are other women in his life like that you should be the only woman in his life because he married you. You are bound by a vow of marriage and I think that this is something that should be upheld by both parties. This is a blessingby God there is no excuse for him to treat you this badly. You should start looking really good and leave him for a younger man than himself who appreciates you.
2007-02-15 18:26:21 · answer #7 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should love you no matter what size you are. Ok, so you gained some weight. If you want to lose the weight, though you've said you've tried everything. Maybe you need to loose the extra 200 lbs you call a husband. I'm sorry, but if the man cannot love you no matter what you look like, he is not worth your time, especially because you are trying to lose it. You cannot make someone fall in love with you, especially if they are so ignorant as this man sounds. I think he's just using the weight issue for deeper reasons that you honestly have no control over.
2007-02-15 16:32:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to start walking and exercising to help with your stomach issues. That might help, but for some a tummy tuck is the only answer. As far as your hubby, if he truly loves you size wouldn't matter. I have several friends that started out with the "great" bodies and have really put on the weight but their husbands didn't fall out of love because of it, their still there happy with the women they married. They didn't change, only their bodies did.
2007-02-15 16:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If diet and exercise don't work, I would suggest seeing a doctor or nutritionist or something.
I truly sympathize with you, but men are definitely visually stimulated and turned-off as well like another reader has said. It's just the way our brains are wired. Physical attraction is not the only factor, but when it comes to sex, for a man, some physical attraction is a must. To take it one step further, to men, sex is a driving need that must be fulfilled.
Good luck to you!
2007-02-15 16:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋