So our class won this academic competition thing in the states and now we get to go to the nationals in DC and we have to go there and stay in a hotel and a lot of the parents come and stay in a different hotel. But the thing is I have a medical thing which made me have a big surgery years ago that forces me to use catheters at certain points in the day and the thing is I could get a seperate room so I wouldnt have to be with any of the kids and it could be private but the thing is my mom wants me to just go to her hotel. She is a wonderful person who has understandably tried to help me but I think has tried a little too hard because I know she has always gone on field trips to help me that I dont really think she really needed to go on I could do it on my own or just have the school nurse come along if I needed anything. Its been like this forever. But I mean now Im 18 and self-sufficient but I think with her always tagging along it has made the other kids think Im immature and hate having this reputation. And I didnt really think about it too much becuase I thought I could just slip out or whatever before they went back to the hotel but I found out they do a lot of little parties at night there and Im going to miss out on all that. And I want to spend more time with them before schools over and this will be one of my last chances. But I mean I could have my own room in the student hotel, do my medical thing, and then go to the parties. But I Idont know if its selfish and dont want to hurt my mom. At one point when I Iseemed uinhappy with the idea she impied I didnt have to room with her but she wouldnt be happy about it but I kind of folded and implied I agreed. Nothings set in stone yet with money and it wouldnt cost any more or less but I dont want to hurt her and dont know if Im being selfish.
2007-02-15 08:19:34 · 26 answers · asked by leena 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It doesn't sound like you're being selfish. It sounds like you want some independance, and I don't blame you. As long as you are not asking your parents to pay for two hotel rooms instead of one, I think you're being fine. Just stand your ground. She needs to let you go sooner or later. Maybe you could comprimise and promise to call her room or something. Good luck!
(Try and work on those run-on sentances. They are hard to read.)
2007-02-15 08:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not being selfish, just an 18 year old.Look, your mom is just being a mom. With your medical condition, she is being more overly protective of you. Tell her you understand her concerns and that you love her for that.. Tell her you understand she worries, because that is what mothers do. Let her know you appreciate all she does, but you are becoming a young woman, and that you can take care of yourself. Explain how important this trip is to you and how you really would like to stay in your own room. Tell her, that it isn't like she will not be on the trip, or close by, if you needed her. Eventually you will be on your own and this would be an ideal situation for you to show your mom that you are growing-up. Do not let your mom try and throw a guilt trip on you. Mothers have a tendency to do that. We love our children, and always want to be able to protect them and we always want to feel needed. It is hard for moms to let go. I know, because I have a son, and sometimes, I hold on a Little too tight also.Have a wonderful time,and Best wishes to you and your mom.
2007-02-15 08:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are definitely NOT being selfish. You are 18 years old now and you do have limited time left at school with your friends. Just explain to her like you did here that you really want to have those last fun experiences with your class, and since you are able to handle your situation alone or have other help available other than your mom, just explain that you really need this for yourself. Tell her she can still come if she would like, but you want to focus this trip on your friends and yourself. you can use this experience to start branching out from your mother (she isn't always going to be there, and i think that scares her) and see how the waters are alone. just be honest and explain it like you did here, and even if she gets angry or try to protest or looks hurt, she will come to understand your ground and will support you no matter what. don't buckle in or give in. stand your ground and because she loves you so much, she will come to support you in your decision. Just let her know if she comes, then you will go to her if you need her help, but you want your own room and more time alone with your friends.
Best of luck on your trip and with your mom and have fun!
2007-02-15 08:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by lynn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are being selfish. What you wrote there made perfect sense to me - and it's very clear that you love her and appreciate her help. Maybe you sould hsow her all or some of your post - and suggest that the two of you plan a special weekend to go away together seperate of this school thing. That will make it clear that you do want to spend time with her, but that you need to be on your own on this trip. It's hard for parents to 'lose' their kids as they grow up and need them less - so it's important for kids to let them know that even if they are not "needed" they are wanted.
2007-02-15 08:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's not selfish of you to want to interact with the kids on the trip as normally as possible. If you are able to take care of your health needs by yourself, then I don't see the problem with you staying at the hotel that the kids are staying at. You'll still see your mom if she comes and stays at another hotel, so if she's concerned about you she'll still be able to be close by if something does happen.
I can understand your wanting to be respectful of your mom and not wanting to do something to hurt her feelings or that might be construed as being an insult, but you need to get something out of your life that you can call your own if you're going to truly call it your life. And you are plenty old enough now for that to be happening.
2007-02-15 08:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think she might also be worried that you're 18 and probably attractive and you'll be the only girl in a single room by herself! Think of that. It makes her request sound more justified. You're not being selfish but maybe naive to think that someone wouldn't want to come back to your room later just knowing that you don't have a roommate.
2007-02-18 16:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of kind of sounds like what your lacking is some real friends. Your young and when you get older you will realize that friends are something thats far and few between. Because any real friend wouldnt mind you bunking with them and this is who you are and probably will be for the rest of your life. If people cant accept that then forget them. I know sounds easier then done and as far as your mom well thats something that nomatter what people tell you that you won't understand until you become one. your her baby you will always be her baby and its obvious she wants to protect you from all the scrutiny you may have been through or possibly can go through. and i really dont think its so bad bunking with your mom perhaps you should make the best of it and enjoy it. you can still go to the parites. as we grow up in life we tend to neglect friendships with our parents. i know i did i ran out of my parents house at 18 and never looked back by the time i settle down to enjoy my father and take the time to visit him he died the next day. now looking back if in your situation i wish my daddy was there to bug me and stay in a hotel room with.
2007-02-15 08:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Johnnie 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its hard for a parent to give up a child and grant them independence. Im sure even moreso if they have a medical condition. You should just tell your mom that you want to go at it alone and see how it turns out. And like you said have the school nurse come along but only if you need her. Maybe if you show your mom that you can do it she will no work as hard.
2007-02-15 08:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by comtnman2003 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You know, hotel rooms have a private bathroom inside the room with a door, so you would have privacy. Maybe you can just go with the other kids and like you said, slip into the room before they get back. Then your mom wont be unhappy about you being by yourself.
2007-02-15 08:27:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
heck no you're not being selfish. you seem to have a great head on your shoulders. have you told your mom what you just told all of us?? there is no one who is going on this trip that knows you well enough to share a room with? cant you go to the restroom to take care of the catheters? then no one would be the wiser.
good luck with the competition and just talk to your mom. I'm sure she wants the best for you
2007-02-15 08:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by Joannie W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋