intimacy freaks or is it just me ... my husband cant stand to hold hands in public, kiss in public ETC .. i have been married to him for five years and i feel like i need to relese a bunch of intimacy out and hes not on the receiving end what should i do? i mean that cant be normal?
2007-02-15 08:05:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
#1 it might be how he was raised.
#2 it can be changed
Take your time first and sit down and talk to him about your needs and wants and desires. See if he will open up to you and tell you why he can't show those feelings. Tell him what your needing and see if you can't slowly build that special relationship. Be gentle with him and take it slow.
2007-02-15 08:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by tmjf461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people are just not comfortable with public display of affection, men most of all. My partner and I do hold hands in public, but he knows he will be a dead man if he even DARES disturb my perfectly applied lip gloss when we are out, since I will not have my perfect make up the least bit smeared before the whole world to see.
Do not force things on him, rather touch him lightly now and again, take his hand, then release it. Unless he goes into a fit of biting and kicking, he is just not into public displays, so I hope he is better at it behind closed doors.
2007-02-15 08:17:33 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you just interpret love as physical touch. However, he might only want intimacy in private, that can be worked with. My husband is always "hovering" around me for moments to touch/hug/kiss me and it drives me bonkers. But I know that is how he shows and interprets love, and I love him anyway.
Pick up the book "The Five Love Languages". It has a lot of good ideas and interesting concepts. Its worth the read.
2007-02-15 08:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love to touch my hubby and kiss him, I love it when he touches me. Just a simple hand on my hip or shoulder or just holding hands, we hold hands almost everywhere we go. I love being close to him and I love that others know that I love him and enjoy the closeness that we share. He is MY husband. Now I am not saying that we are so far up the PDA scale that we have to get a room, but if you see us in public, you could defiantly tell that we are in love and very happy together.
2007-02-15 08:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered 'no' in my head even before I read the body of your post...ALL women aren't anything...some don't need or desire physical contact or intimacy, others thrive on it...
I was married to a guy for a while that was virtually emotionless...no affection, no words of love, and when he wanted sex he said "wanna have sex?"...we split up after 17 months and me realizing that it was better to be single and happy, than in a relationship and lonely or unhappy...
2007-02-15 08:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your husband about this? My husband is always willing to hold my hand, give me a kiss, put his arm around me...etc. It doesn't matter whether we are in public or not. Perhaps he just isn't into PDA (Public Display of Affection)...has he always been this way? Good luck.
2007-02-15 08:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by delanabobana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. My boyfriend loves holding my hand, putting his arm around me, kissing me, etc. Sometimes i have to initiate it. Men are not automatically big fans of affection, they are men after all. Why not ask him about it. Find out what it is that makes it uncomfortable for him. Communication is important in relationships and you should be able to talk about something with him if it is bothering you.
Good luck
2007-02-15 08:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by chickenbuttoch2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big deal he don't want to kiss or hold hands in public, there are more important things to concern yourself with then that little stuff. If he loves you, takes care of you, treats you good then don't make him change by focusing on that
2007-02-15 08:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by Great one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate intimacy just because I prefer my personal space, its not because I dont love my husband, everyone has different needs.
2007-02-15 08:08:52 · answer #9 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is the same way (except when it comes to sex...) because of past issues (problems growing up & a head trauma from a car accident) he just can't be close to people. If you are not happy it isn't good for you, him or your marriage. Have a serious discussion with him and consider going to counceling. I wish you guys the best!
2007-02-15 08:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by emce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋