he told me when I reach two months we will get married, I am worried...... What should I do?
2007-02-15 07:44:59 · 45 answers · asked by Tai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DO NOT GET MARRIED. He has expectations of you to have a child and you have expectations of him to marry you. let him follow through with what you want first. possibly prove to him that you are fertile and can concieve and then get on birth control and do not get pregnant from a man who will not marry you. Trust me I am in the same situation right now. Think about your needs first. and u need a man that wants to be wwith you for you not for a child that you will have. and the child should not have to be concieved for him to want to marry him. he cannot be worried about u having an abortion because u can abort up to 4 months sometimes 5 months. so he's lying. As a matter of a fact...just find a NEW, REAL man. (no offense). As a woman we deserve do much more than we settle for.
2007-02-15 07:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by Desire` 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its quite clear that the both of you are on 2 different pages! I think you should follow what you believe; and WAIT to you are married... to get pregnant!!! There is a big difference of having a baby out of wed-lock, and having a baby when you have a husband. If your boyfriend... says "You 2 will get married once you're 2 months pregnant"... why can't he just get married first? It doesn't sound like a good idea to me. If he really cares about you, he would take into consideration the fact you want to have a "real family". If he can't respect how you feel about the situation... then hes not worth it. Get married then you can have all the babies you want. Listen to your heart!
Good Luck
2007-02-15 07:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that when you two reach TWO YEARS of MARRIAGE, then you will consider, and I repeat, CONSIDER, having a baby with him. A child is no laughing matter, it's a serious life-time expensive obligation, not some gold fish you may flush down the toilet, a dog you can dump back at the pound, or an electronic device you can return to the store, it ties you to one another forever, and if he cannot marry you and commit to your relationship he is defiantly and categorically not prepared to be a father. Keep your legs closed or, alternatively, stay on birth control, preferably the pill. Inform him that if he tricks you into an unwanted pregnancy (punctured condom, etc.) Your next stop will be the police for a rape report and the clinic for an abortion.
2007-02-15 07:54:04 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's RIDICULOUS!!!! Stick to your guns, honey. If a man really wants you to marry him, he'll propose. But asking you to make a life time commitment to both him and a child before he'll ask you to marry him is ridiculous. He's not offering you anything, yet he's asking you to give up your entire future, hoping that he'll be true to his word. What about insurance for you and the child? How are you going to afford the doctor's visits, vitamins, hospital stay, schooling, etc., if he doesn't keep his word? Don't you think if he really cared about you he'd give you a marriage and a stable home BEFORE you added the stress and expense of a child to that mix? I'm wondering if he's pulled this on other girls...
DO NOT get pregnant with this person. He sounds like the kind of guy who thinks it's macho to get girls pregnant and then fly away. Don't get stuck out there! And if you're not already on the pill or some other form of birth control that only you have access to, get on it right now!! If he's trying to get you pregnant, I'm sure he's refusing to use condoms, right? God only knows how many other girls he's trying to get pregnant, and what diseases he's been exposed to. You need to take care of yourself and your future and stay healthy. This person isn't interested in that.
Good luck.
2007-02-15 07:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by Vix 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For men, the idea of getting a girl pregnant is a show of virility and manhood. You would be making a huge huge mistake to get pregnant before marrying. He's putting strings on whether he will marry you? The guy has a problem and I think you should get to the bottom of it before you go any further with him at all before you end up alone with a baby and a broken heart.
2007-02-15 08:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you he will marry you first. That is quit a huge risk to take... If he is going to marry you, then he must love you. Why do you have to wait two months. Why can't you just get married as soon as you get pregnant. Something is fishy. Wait don't make any sudden decisions. Think everything through. Everything in the dark soon comes to the light. Look for all warning signs.
2007-02-15 07:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by Shay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are even asking this question says the time isn't right. If he wants a baby first, and you want one after marriage, then it isn't the right time. A baby should not enter the picture until BOTH people are ready. A baby also won't fix things -and in fact, can complicate things if the relationship isn't stable. A baby is a human being that deserves the best chance in life possible. Starting out a child's life with uncertainty and stress isn't the best way to go about it. It sounds like your guy wants to father a child but isn't ready to walk down that aisle. That tells me that you have bigger issues than when to have a child here. I would work out that marriage issue before you even consider having a child together. Best wishes to you both.
2007-02-15 07:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT get pregnant before you have a solid marriage committment from your guy. If your guy loves you & wants to have a family with you then he will have no problem getting married first. What is the point of waiting until you are 2 months pregnant before tying the not. BE WARE
2007-02-15 07:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married first then wait. It's your body that the baby will be in, it's you that will have to carry it around for nine months, and its you that will have to go through delivery. If he really loves you he will respect your decision. And ask him why he wants you to get pregnant first, that doesn't make sense. If he doesn't give you a good answer. Seriously think about finding someone better.
2007-02-15 07:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by Kaitlyn S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy!
You need to sit down and tell him that you want that commitment first.
Having a baby out of wedlock is a hard thing. I know I've been there.
If he says you'll get married, then he should have no problem waiting till after the fact, and then starting a family.
I would wait at LEAST a year after marriage.
good luck
2007-02-15 07:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋