When I was 15 my mom commited suicide (addiction problems)and my father died in cancer a few months later. Was sent to a foster home by the social services. It was terrible there, they treated me very badly. Left when I was 18, have gotten a job and an apartment now. Feels like I've missed out on a big chunk of teen age life, like fx dating, girlfriends and such. My life feels very hard and extremely lonely.
Am afraid that my experinces have made me into an unlovable who cant fucntion with other people. I suffer from social phobia, trouble trusting other people etc. Is currently on antidepression meds + counselling.
Dunno what my question is, maybe will I always be lonely the rest of my life? Should I be worried, will I never have a family of my own?
Thought Id ask the world for some advice.
2007-02-15 07:29:09 · 7 answers · asked by fred 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hi! I know how it feels to feel lonely. I was fortunate to have a very wonderful family but I also feel like i might be lonely even though I shouldn't because my family adores me. I know it's hard to trust people and sometimes its seems that the world is such a cruel place. You know what though I've never had a boyfriend and I don't have friends and I crave having truel real friends like crazy but I am blessed with a family. I wish I could help people like you or in similar situations. I'll give you a cyberhug
2007-02-15 14:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by justagirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1)
Start with your interests. Turn off the TV and get a interest if you dont have one,join some message boards on that interest and start chatting with people.( even a simple forum will do.)
oh , and if you use alcohol, try and hold up for a year or so.
(have alot of friends that uses wine or beer when they are depressed, and sure enough ,they get even more depressed.)
2)
After a while when you realise that other people have the same fears and the same goals as you do, join a "club".
Some kind of weekly meeting is nice to begin with.I would suggest a charity of some kind, always in need of a helping hand.
You dont need to be chatty or even nice, just give a helping hand, and try to observe people (without staring.)
3)
Now try to expand the time spent with your interest or charity, try and come up with some idea to contribute, is your interest a chess club? Why not drawing a t-shirt logo for the chess team
(no i dont think you are interested in chess, it´s an example.)
Do you spend some time at a soup kitchen for the homeless?
Ask the local bakery if they can spare some day old bread ,that you can pick up and give along the soup.
4)
Along step 2 or 3 you will notice some nice girls for sure, it is even possible that step 3 makes some of them notice you.
The first girl may not be the "dreamgirl", it doesn´t matter.
You may find it awkward and embarrasing, it doesn´t matter.
Perhaps you can´t take her to the fanciest restaurant, it ...
well you get the idea.
Just go for it!
...And be honest to her and yourself.If it doesn´t work out, tell her so right away and try the next one.
Is she really nice, but not interested in you? Dont take it personal, some people is just not meant for each other, try the next one.
5) if step 1 to 4 fail, dont give up, take a break, go to the park, zoo or something, just breathe, relax and be lazy for a whole weekend , and then start at step 1 next week and get on your feet again.
Good luck.
2007-02-15 08:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by roberth p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It'll be alright, don't think like that. I'm sure you'll have a family of your own! I'd start out making friends and stuff. It's nice to have someone to talk to, even if it's about something as simple as the weather, haha! xP I don't know about you, but it's easier for me to meet people online. I have three "adopted" little sisters that I have kind of taken under my wing, lol. It just all depends. If ya want, you can message me and I'll talk to ya about that silly old weather, haha. Don't think like you're life's already over, you're only 21. Ya got a few more years to go. XP Well, hope this helps some.
2007-02-15 07:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mizuki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you will have a family one day and I sort of know how you feel except both of my parents are in prison and I was also put in a foster home! It does not make you unlovable at all and when God is ready and when you are ready God will bring the perfect mate for you in to your life! I promise! Just hang in there and enjoy what we have left of life is what we need to do! You may have missed out on a lot but you still have a lot of life left to live!
2007-02-15 07:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by dark angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweety its OK you are only 21 life has been hard for you but you are a very good person don't think like that i come from a family of wackoes trust me i went thru this same phase but there are people who don't bother about these things work hard the day you stop thinking like this people attitude will change you will have everything change your attitude and girls will be running after you takecare kiran_bhatia123@yahoo.com{mail me} i love to make pen friends every where
2007-02-15 07:53:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never had my first gf til I was in my 30s, and I'm now happily married. Things can work out for you, no doubt. Don't focus on what went wrong in the past, focus on making yourself more attractive to girls now and in the future. It may take some time, but if you can truly put the past behind you, you can make your future a bright one.
2007-02-15 07:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to meet people that you know you can trust. this should help you with the social phobia.
2007-02-15 07:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Nocurfew313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever seen 40 year old virgin?
there is hope
2007-02-15 07:34:32 · answer #8 · answered by gPearce82 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋