What can I do to BECOME MORE EXTRAVERTED / SOCIAL?? Any TIPS?? please, help...?

Question

hi, sooo.... yes, i am this quiet, thoughtful, responsible girl who spends her lunches reading TIME Magazine.
But the real thing is that I want to become more social (not that I don't have any friends), but it's hard for me to establish new relationships. [for the last couple of yrs i have moved to differest cities/states several times]

ANY TIPS?
Thanks!

Answer 1

you are either an extrovert or an introvert. it is just who you are. You cannot be something you aren't.

I am an introvert but I still manage to teach classes, give presentations to corporate executives, conduct meetings, and have given presentations to audiences of 5000 in attendance. It is a matter of practice, believing yourself, and developing self esteem.

No matter what, I get nervous in front of people, I have learned to live with the fact that I am an introvert. But I am OK with that.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It would be helpful to know more about your life. What situations can you be more social in? Work? School? Where do you eat lunch and is it possible to spend your lunches talking to people instead of reading Time Magazine? Reading Time may be a good place to start though. How many people do you think read the magazine? You could useTime to your advantage by using your favorite stories as material to start conversations with people. It is likely that you can find other people who are interested in them. This could lead to developing friendships. Making friends is not easy for most people. Many have found that the best way to start relationships is to find out what you have in common with other people and what you have to bring to the relationship. Continue to be thoughtful, quiet, and responsible, but find the right balance. Don't think that you need to be the girl who talks all the time. Remember that people like to be listened to.

Answer 3

I am actually in the same shoes as you! Why don't you try taking classes e.g. dance, cooking, language, yoga, etc.? Or, join a community sports league? This way you can get the benefit of meeting others and learning something new at the same time.

It could also be the age we are in. I don't know how old you are, but I am 28 yrs. old and I should be more social, however, I am accepting the fact that maybe there are things about me that I need to refine or accept. Maybe do a personal evaluation of why you tend to be shy when it comes to meeting new people.

And it's OK if you're an introvert! Introverts can also meet new people, maybe not just as easily, but if you are a curious and open person then I believe you can meet just about anybody!

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

When I was young I was an "Army brat" and changed schools several times, plus I was somewhat introverted, too.

Even though this is who you are, the way you are, and even though you may never change, here is an insight for you...

When it really matters to you, you can STRETCH outside your comfort zone for a few minutes to be more social, to converse with people one-on-one, or even several people at the same time. Then when you start to feel really uncomfortable, you can consciously withdraw and go back to being just a listener. It's a technique. You don't want to become the victim of your own tendencies, when it's in your own interest or there's a benefit in it for you.

When you're with people, I suggest you let them do most of the talking. Ask them questions about themselves. They'll appreciate that you're interested, and you'll learn things important to future relationships. For example, you may hear about things you have in common...then you can share your own common ground with them.

First make acquaintances, then as you learn more, decide you want to move up to friendship. You do this by spending more time with them and sharing more of yourself. It can be fun.

But you can't rush it. As you can tell, it's a process, and it takes two to make a friendship. Both have to want it. It doesn't always work out, but that's par for the course. If you make 4-5 friends in a year, plus one best friend, that's pretty good. Good luck!

Answer 5

What a coincidence Time magazine is what I read on my lunch.
Anyway, I have the answer, to start you can ask this question to a live person im sure you have a Friend,acquaintance or someone from work you can ask that question to at work maybe during your lunch break.Personally I like to go to community sponsored things that I see in the paper I also have a hobby of visiting all 63 wineries in my state of Colorado I been here a year and been to 9 wineries, I meet alot of people doing that plus I get educated and drunk at the same time.

Answer 6

What I like to do is go to all of my normal places and start talking to the people next to me. For instance, standing in line, I engage in conversation with the woman behind me about her kids, about the weather, etc. But, for more emotional connections this just won't be enough. I like to search the internet for social opportunities that I enjoy. Find a cultural event in your area in which involves some kind of socialization. There should be some kind of these events around larger cities. Or, maybe you can join a book club (since you already like to read, why not? Just trade your magazine for a book!)!

Answer 7

Step One: Want it.

Step Two: Believe you can be whoever you want to be. Stop saying it's hard for you to be social because you've moved. THAT makes you more interesting. Word things to yourself and others positively. Change the chatter in your head from, "I am this quiet..." to "I am a very social being."

Say these affirmations to yourself many times a day:
"I have moved several times in the last few years and I have a lot of new experiences to share."
"I make new friends easily without comprimising my ideals."
"I am strong, interesting, happy and I make friends easily."
"I find connections with people that are meaningful and important to me."
"I maintain connections with people who are important to me no matter how far away I live."

Step Three: Be ready to recieve your new self. Hold on to the belief until the moment you arrive!

Answer 8

Part of your problem is moving, you probably feel that there is not much need of making relationships because you know you will have to leave them soon, so why bother? you think. You can still make friends and you will have them, whether you are local or not, lots of good friends don't live close together. Be more open to others and willing to take chances. You have to make yourself speak with others, that is the only way.

Answer 9

First; do you feel uncomfortable talking to people? Is it a confidence/insecurity thing? If not, asking people about themselves; where they're from, what the y do or like to do away from work are always good starters. One thing most peole like to do is talk about themselves and if you're the one asking they will want to talk to you even more. Then, just use that to respond. Since you've moved alot you have experience in diff. places. That's always good.

Answer 10

tip: be happy, not hyper. guys are turned on by happiness.
warning: stay away from guys. i mean dont talk to them but just friends nt more.
tip: guys think the way u treat other girls are how ull treat them.
tip: friends are everywhere. fake and real. observe to what kind of friend u want. stay an outtie. its better.
warning: never make friends with innie wannabes they'll just get u bullied and made fun of.

thats some...if u want more just email me.