My 13 year old daughter wants to date a 16 year old boy...?

Question

I am considering letting her ONLY if she goes to public places or he comes to our house to see her. I don't think I would let them go out together alone (he drives), but maybe with another friend of hers who is dating his friend. He seems like a nice boy and she is a responsible child, but I'm not naive. That is why I'm asking this question... would you let your daughter date a 16 year old in public places (like movies, school events, restaurants)???

I never said I would actually let the boy drive her anywhere (I just said he does drive). I would not let them be alone together - always in a public place and with a friend. Is there still harm in that?

Answer 1

o snap, a bunch of long answers, and alot of "no"s.
hmmm...
Well first off, if you don't let her date him, she'll just do it in secret, so keep that in mind.
You could let her date him on strict rules, as the less the age diff the less rules you need to apply. they should be with an adult around at all times, and never be alone (unless you can tell they're gonna break up.) this has to be tight security, but still letting them be happy. If they ever get mad at your rules, tell them why you put them up, and about how easily she could lose her virginity. let her lose that when she's 16 or 17. always let her know that if she usure about something, she should take the safer route.
You could take the easy (safe) lane, and say no. in order to do that, you must ease into the no. create conversation. if she is mad at you, tell her why you are doing this. tell her about how she could have lost her virginity, or started doing drugs (I know you said he was a nice guy, but 16 yr olds are very unpredictable.) show her some of the answers you got on this (like the one about the girl who lost her virginity at 14.)

Remember, you must be sure on your answer. and unsurities willl lead to her (and your) downfall.

Answer 2

What A 13 Year Old Wants

Answer 3

I am around kids these ages a lot....my own kids and those that participate in excurricular activities where I volunteer. These are considered to be the "good kids" because they spend their time constructively and avoid drugs. I honestly don't see what would interest a 16 year old boy in a 13 year old girl except for sex. Socially and developmentally, they are in completely different places.
I DO see why a 13 year old girl would like to date a 16 year old boy - it would make her feel special and more mature than her peers. I even remember being 13 and wanting to go out with my brothers' friends. But it is a naive and romantic desire a girl has, and the boy is likely to take advantage of her innocence in one way or another.

Not knowing this boy - who may be an exception to my generalization -- I would choose the cautious route and either insist that she wait until 15 to date or ONLY allow the boy to come to your house to see her. He has to earn your trust. She has to demonstrate her maturity that she is ready to date someone. If he is willing to follow your rules for more than a few weeks and is still interested in dating your daughter, he may have a genuine interest in her as a whole person, not just the object of his horny teenage desires.

This is a tough decision, and your daughter may not like your answer, but your top priority must be responsible parenting, not making her happy.

Answer 4

I do not think, at 13 your daughter should be publicly dating at all. The fact that the boy is 16 makes me thinks his intentions are not quite the same as a 13 year old girl..I would seriously consider the fact that he drives, therefore, the date at the mall or movies could easily turn into your daughter leaving that public place.
The scariest part is that although your daughter may be an angel this boy could take advantage of your daughter's vulnerability or worse rape her...God forbid!
Good luck with this one...my daughter is 5 months old and I dread the day she wants to date & I have to be the mean, uncool mom.

Answer 5

No, I wouldn't let either of my daughters do that at age 13.
And yes, there is something wrong with letting her go.
Why do you need to ask perfect strangers this question?
Could it be that you know very well it's not an appropriate situation for your daughter?
As a guideline, I let my kids go on group dates at age 15 with a responsible adult driver. At age 16, they were allowed to date people within a 2 year age range. They balked at the time, but later they all thanked my for pacing them. Now at 22 and 28 they are in committed, monogamous relationships.
Dating is "shopping for a mate".
Do you want your daughter 'shopping' this young?
She may surprise you by marrying or becoming pregnant very young.
Please think it over.
Good Luck.

Answer 6

no way under no circumstances and if you do you Had better tell her all about sex and birth control , just because they say there going to the movies and school functions doesn't mean that's where they will end up so be careful 16 year old boys don't always take no for an answer either i don't mean to be so harsh but i remember what it was like when i was a teen and that was 20 years ago i am sure it's much worse now if this kid really likes your daughter than the date should be under your supervision until she's older like 15 if the boy agrees with this than he has good intentions but if he has a problem than mom so do you no matter what you do make sure she is mature enough to handle whatever comes her way

Answer 7

It depends on how mature you're daughter is only you know her. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to an older boy. And when my mom didn't agree with what I wanted to do I would rebel. I thank the Lord I never had anything bad happen to me. I turned out all right. I have a nine year old daughter now when she turns 13 I will allow her to have male friends come over to my house. I will not allow her to have a boyfriend it's to much to worry about. I would let them hang out at you're house only and get her involved in something put her in a youth program at church.

Answer 8

13 is absolutely to young to date.
Just think if he leans over to kiss her. That is going to make her feel like he REALLY likes her. Then what? Most likely she will give him a kiss. That natural. BUT, do want to take a chance on her being confused and maybe more happen later?
Please take my advice and don't let her date until she is at least 16. I made the mistake of letting mine date early. She was a VERY responsible girl, very smart,sweet, loving, .......
BUT, it happened! A baby! And also when they are double dating, they tend to have ideas even more just to look good to the others.
The only way I would let them have anything to do together is to let him come over for supper and then maybe a movie in the living room with you wondering around so they can see that you can see them.
Don't let her,and you, learn the hard way, Please.

Answer 9

well, how do they know each other? I'm 12 and i like a 15 year old. I would not go out with him, but i may want to when i am 13. I've known him since i was three and liked him since i was 7. our parents are good friends too. however, i didn't admit i liked him until a few weeks ago, though. look at things from every angle before you decide. but no matter what, DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE TOGETHER!!!

Answer 10

I'm 14. I don't even think a 13 year old should date a 16 year old. I'm even the rebelious type. When I was 13 I dated a 15 year old and even he wanted to much. She is close to my age and I remeber when I dated the 15 year old. He had a way to get into my brain and get me to do things out of guilt and responsibility to him that I would not normally do. I'm not saying your daughter would be like me and get her self into stuff she couldnt handle like I did. I'm sure she would do fine. It just depends on her responsibility and her ability to say NO.