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she doesn't like it very often, and she doesn't make any effort... at least she's loud... any magic suggestions, or is this the typical piserable part of being married?

2007-02-15 07:16:27 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

piserable = miserable, sorry.

2007-02-15 07:16:53 · update #1

No, really... she really enjoys herself. There's only so much you can fake.

2007-02-15 09:10:18 · update #2

She says that its just too exhausting to do very often...

2007-02-16 00:48:14 · update #3

Why the heck do women alwasy have to bring up dishes and laundry and crap when we are talking about Sex? What the heck is wrong with you?

2007-02-16 00:50:04 · update #4

50 answers

Well.. Sex with my boyfriend is awesome as well. But i do the same thing. Its just how a girl is. No big deal, dont even sweat it.

2007-02-15 07:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♥DANyELLE. 2 · 2 4

I would love a dollar for every person who is in your boat....I would be a very rich woman. I certainly can understand when you ask is this the typical miserable part of marriage. It seems you may be right doesnt it because there are too many people complaining about the same thing you are to not think that maybe that really is the miserable part of marriage. It certainly shouldnt be, because intimacy with your spouse is absolutely wonderful. The only thing that you can do is talk to your wife....in a very non threatening way of course because if she feels like she is not satisfying you then the little amount of unfullfilling sex may dry up altogether.....lol.

Wine and dine her, make her feel beautiful...kiss her ear at the dinner table, fondle her breasts, expand the areas where you make love to your wife...dont just keep it confined to the bedroom. Some women love a lot of foreplay, start that foreplay when you get home from work so when you go to bed she will be well and trully ready. In a lot of cases though a lot of women are subject to conditioning...that sex is dirty and is something you give to your husband because he needs it. That is certainly not the case with a lot of women, but for some, it really is true. If you take the time to turn your woman on....find a way to show her that you want her to experiment a bit more, she may end up a real fox in the bedroom. A lot of woman dont want to experiment because they could think their husband would think they are cheap or something...Show her its ok to let her hair down and maybe she will be a different woman. If she doesnt respond to you, then maybe she just doesnt enjoy sex, and if thats the case, I dont know what to suggest.

2007-02-15 07:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 3 0

I feel your pain....
If yours is like mine, being tired, stressed out, and/or fatigued plays a huge part of not having or wanting to have sex.

You gotta make it a game. Toy with her over the span of the day. Leave a suggestive note next to the coffee pot. Follow up with a nasty phone call to her around lunch time (think phone sex). Tell her what you are going to do to her. Be as descriptive as possible, talk slowly and deliberately.

Fix her dinner and prepare a nice dessert. Time to break out the candles and the love music. Feed her the dinner and dessert. For example, take the chocolate covered cherry and stroke her lips with it before allowing her to bite it.

Be mysterious, seductive, try to be one of those Harlequin romance heroes. Sounds sappy, I know, but when you're banging her later on, it'll be worth it.

As a followup, you might want to help her clean up the house, wash dishes, clothes, vacuum the house, dust. Whatever it is that she does on her days off. A little foresight can provide you with a big payoff at the end of the week. If you have kids, send 'em to Grandma's for the weekend. That alone will be a tremendous relief for the both of you.

2007-02-15 07:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by CyberCop 4 · 1 0

John, your wife is probably under stress and has alot to deal with. Kids? School? Work? If any of those things apply to her life then sex is probably at the bottom of her list, at the top- sleep, or enjoying much needed time away from those things that stress her out. I'm sure she enjoys sex but don't always think that affection must lead to sex, sometimes we just want a hug without our assses being grabbed or a sexual comment being made. The more she feels comfortable with affection the more sex you'll get! Be patient, and don't cheat!

2007-02-15 07:35:44 · answer #4 · answered by chloe j 1 · 2 0

Take what you can get, leave her alone otherwise. You may think you know the stresses in her life and because they seem small to you, they can be overwhelming to her. Stop being so selfish and give her a break. I'm sure work, school and kids take their toll as well as the stress of putting up with you constantly wanting sex. Be affectionate without a sexual comment or touch involved, then maybe when she's comfortable kissing and hugging without the pressure you may get some!

2007-02-15 10:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need to understand that woman don't have sex on their mind 24/7 and maybe she's just not in the mood all the time for a reason. Could be she's tired, under a lot of stress, or pressure...etc. Give her a break! Maybe you should plan a romantic evening and set the mood, that could help.

2007-02-15 07:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 1 0

Read some books on how to stimulate a woman.

My personal favorite is to have my clitoris given a good massage while my honey is penetrating me with fingers or penis. Ask her if you can try different positions or things before you attempt it though.

Sometimes you have to give 110% in a marriage. This is one of those times.

You will like the results if you do. Also helping with the dishes or housework or kids may make her not be so tired.

2007-02-15 07:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Unless you have upset neighbours complaining of her vocal intrusion, you are not alone in your plight.
Marriage has a way of slowing sexual relations down, but at least in your case, it has not slowed down to a screeching halt.
Try and get her in the mood by doing romantic and spontaneous things for her, as in the dating stage, for example:
Flowers, wine, an nice night out, spa day, couples massage in a licensed establishments. (the hot stone massages are great), and see if this doesn't help bring up the sex count a few notches.
Good Luck.

2007-02-15 07:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1 0

It's typical behavior of the selfish wife these days. I always give it up to my husband because he is a man and men have needs! It's not a hard concept to understand! She might just be too lazy or just doesn't give a crap about your needs. This is why men stray...it's not an excuse, but it's the truth.

Is she on any kind of anti-depressant's? That might be the cause, they lower the libido. It's still not an excuse by any means.

I don't initiate sex with my husband very often because I like the "Gone with the Wind" concept of being "taken." That may be why she doesn't initiate sex either. Talk to her, you have needs and women know this, but they still think that they can only have sex on their terms. I have sex with my husband even when I don't feel like it, or I'm half asleep...

2007-02-15 07:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1 3

You should feel lucky that she likes it with you still. Men come here all the time complaining that they don't get any at all even for years. But, you said not very often. How not very often is that? Some guys say not very often is twice a week. Whereas a woman would think that's plenty.

2007-02-15 07:20:16 · answer #10 · answered by Groovy 6 · 1 1

Not knowing her age, it could just be a stage she's going through. She could be a little old fashioned and not real comfortable with it. Try talking to her. Find out what she likes. Maybe she's gained a little weight and not feeling sexy or something. Could be a number of things. Men go through these stages too.

2007-02-15 07:32:50 · answer #11 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 1 0

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