How do I force my husband to pay his share of the bills?

Question

He has not worked in years. He could, but he won't. I pay all the bills, but am getting mighty tired of this! Short of turning the screws tighter by not giving him any spending money, how do I get him to pay his share? There are joint accounts and investments we could split. Is there a legal way to force him to do this??

Answer 1

What? You would rather sue your husband, or try to legally force him to pay bills with money he doesnt have, than stop giving him "spending money"? That doesnt even make sense. And if the money is in a joint account, then its all "yours" as a group anyway. What you want to do just doesnt make sense. Cut off his spending money and be done with it- do you really want to get lawyers involved and have to pay them a ton of money anyway?

Answer 2

I think that you have created a monster by letting him get away with this for so long.

There is no way to "force" him to pay bills. Is he taking care of your kids (this makes a big difference in the scenario).

You can take all of the money out of the accounts, and then open up accounts in your name only. This is sure to ruffle feathers, so make sure you are ready for it. The same thing goes if you decrease his spending money.

Are the two (or how every many there are of you) financially secure, or are you just getting by?

It is more than possible that he is a lazy bum and you'd be better off without him, but that would be a last measure (if there are kids involved).

Answer 3

While the overwhelming suggestion is to divorce, you may further your frustration here by having to pay spousal support, which would be quite the indignity. If this is the choice you are considering, I would think that some discussion with a lawyer to find out exactly what the economic outcome of the divorce is before you make this final plunge. Apparently embarrassing the fop has not been a workable option? Publishing his efforts to gain employment in the opinion pages of your local rag? Typing a letter to a "Dear Abby" equivalent? I confess a certain mystification as to why anyone would pursue this behavior and not exhibit any shame for it.

Answer 4

You're married. You have joint assets. No.

You can file for divorce, of course. Depending on your state, he may walk away with half the money anyway.

If you don't want to divorce him, then... well, that's your decision.

He is not obligated to work. As long as you support him, he doesn't have much incentive, huh?

Now, if you want to treat him like a child (some marriage, huh?!?), you can certainly do the following:

(1) Open an account in your name only. Again, depending on you state, be aware that he may or may not be able to touch or get that money.

(2) Start putting 100% of your paycheck in that account.

(3) Tell him not to touch the joint accounts. You decide how to best enforce this with him.

(4) Give him an allowance.

(5) If he takes money from the joint account, there's little you can do to him, short of withholding sex (or whatever).

(6) Once he depletes the joint account, he'll have no access to any money, other than his allowance. Make sure to lock up your check book and do whatever you can to prevent him from stealing your credit cards, ATM card, etc.

(7) If he steals from you, you REALLY need to reconsider if this is someone that you want to stay married to.

Answer 5

I was in your situation and it took me leaving and filing for divorce in order for him to get off his lazy butt and finally do something with his life. Sweetie, you are being an enable, just like I was. DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY SPENDING MONEY, do not buy his favorite drink, smokes, clothes, etc. Stop buying stuff for him, tell him since he doens't work you can't afford stuff like that and if he wants it he will have to figure out how to get a job. As for the joint accounts, how much has he contributed? If it hasn't been anything in years, then dont' feel guilty about draining those accounts and getting new ones in your name only. The investments? Again, how much has he contributed? If it is nothing in years, sell them or talk to an accountant or attorney about how you can transfer them to your name only. How long has been since he hasn't worked? Do not let this go on for more than 5 years, otherwise when get divorced, you will have to pay him spousal support to keep him at the life style to which he has become accustomed. In other words, you will give him about 1/2 of your income! If you stop giving him money and stop giving him access to money, he will have to work. The saying goes whoever supports the marriage supports the divorce, so you will pay all court cost, attorney fees, etc and will awarded most of the bills to pay while he will get off scott free and you will still end up paying him. Do, divorce may not be the best option, but definatly make it harder for him, you are making it too easy, I know, I did it for 7 years and when I did file for divorce imagine my surprise when not only did he get ot keep everything in the house, because I left the house to go to my mothers and only took what could fit in my car, he also was not responsible for any of the bills we had accumulated because I worked and they were all in my name and I had to pay him spousal support. In the end it was all worth it to me, but think about all that before you file, you could end up with more bills than you have now. Just start making him work and believe me, you can, just stick to your guns, refuse to buy him anything extra, even his favorite chips and he will start working. If this causes major fights between you, so what, but if he lays a hand on you over all this, call the cops, that is one way to be able to keep everything and have him gone!

Answer 6

Well, if his name is on any of the bills he also has a responsibility to them. I had this problem with my husband and it took me quitting my job and going back to school to get him to help pay the bills. Of course, now he tries to accuse me of not paying anything but I do, he just doesn't realize it.

Now, legally, if you were to take him into a court about it and his name was on an account and you have proof that you told him to pay his half and he agreed that he needed to then the judge would be on your side hands down. Now, if he has a bill in his name only and has his signature on it then he is responsible for it.

I personally would just tell him that the car payment (or whatever payment you want) is coming due and he needs to pay his half and that you aren't going to be responsible for everything anymore. Communication is the key. There may be some underlying reason on why he hasn't sought out another employment opportunity. My husband didn't because he figured no one would hire him anyway so I had to put him in touch with the company that I had quit and they hired him right away. Your husband may be having esteem issues as well.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

He dosen't have a "share" because all of the debts are debts of the community estate. When you are married you have community property and it is from this property that the bills are paid. You two are partners and your marriage is basically a partnership that can't be split except by divorce.

Answer 8

Divorce

Answer 9

Open an account in your name only, deposits to that account only. See a lawyer asap about putting a hold on the other accounts and investments & show hubby the door. He is nothing but a leach.

Answer 10

I would try withholding from him something he wants - be it money, or anything else.

Trouble is, since you are the breadwinner, if you divorce him he might put in a claim for alimony!

Being married to a deadbeat is no fun, I know. You have my sympathies.