This question is especially geared towards men over 40.
I have a friend who lives with his g/f. They have not been getting along for quite some time. He says he doesn't sleep with her because he is turned off by her (she supports this claim of him not sleeping with her as well). My question is this....is it possible that he really doesn't sleep with her because he doesn't want to, or is it possible there is more to the reason he doesn't (like maybe he is having ED issues)?
I guess I find it hard to believe he doesn't have sex. He is only 45. Hardly old enough to give it up and yet seemingly he is not getting it anywhere else either. I know when my ex and I were splitting up, we still did the deed on occasion..it was just physical, but we still did it.
2007-02-15 06:28:30 · 11 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are dozens of reasons he might not want to. Contrary to popular belief, men are not turned on ALL the time, and will not sleep with anything that moves. I have lost interest before, not because of attraction, but because of stress.
Men are emotionally complex too. We are just trained to act like we're not.
2007-02-15 06:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by Year of the Monkey 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, when the relationship goes downhill, so does the intimacy. The fact that you and youjr ex still had sex means that the two of you were basically just using each other.
Why would a mature man want to sleep with a woman who turns him off?
By "mature," I mean that he doesn't seee sex as the PRIMARY reason to be in a relationship. He has a lot of other needs for which his g/f is probabily meeting right now. But, until they decide to either work on their relationship, or go their separate ways, he the sex part needs to be on the back burner because it only complicates a relationship on the rocks.
2007-02-15 06:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is probably true, that he is just not into her anymore whether physicall, emotionally, mentally etc. If men have really lost ALL interest, then nothing is going to happen with anything at any given time. Men at that age, usually don't start "running around" because some do lose interest and want to or just not serious about finding it someplace else, you know? In my current relationship, he's 44 and if we weren't together, he probably wouldn't be finding it someplace else mainly because of lack of time, interest etc.
2007-02-15 06:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean I guess its possible that he is turned off by her, but you would think that turning the lights off would solve that problem. I dont mean to sounds like a jerk, believe me, but if she is trying to have sex with him and he is flat out turning it down, even in times of joy, then the best bet is that there is another issue here. If it was that he is turned off, and they have been having problems, odds are he isnt staying with her long. She might consider trying "other things" in the bedroom, rather than sex, and if he turns that down too, then she shouldnt feel bad, because it is most likely his fault, in one way or another. Also, sounds like a semi abusive relationship if he can tell her she turns him off. Prolly best for both people to get out of the relationship.
2007-02-15 06:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by YouKnowImRight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're not getting along it's easy for them to not have sex. Maybe she's not giving it up???? Not sure why he is with her??? If he's not having sex because he can't get it up then he'll go to a doctor and get the cure.
Now, if you know all this about his personal life are you two attracted to eachother? If so, then maybe he should move on. Life is too short to be unhappy.
2007-02-15 06:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound either like a real busy body friend, or your trying to figure out from a bunch of strangers if we think he might get it up with you when you give him the chance.
His problem is none of your business and either is their sleeping arrangments. You have some sort of under lieing reason going on in your head!!
2007-02-15 06:34:27 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sure a guy may choose not to have sex with his partner if he's not attracted to her. MANY guys turn down the opportunity for sex regularly, because they just aren't attracted to the women offering it.
I'd be more curious about why he's still with this woman, that if it's possible he's really not having sex with her...of course, he may be having sex with someone else, who knows...
2007-02-15 06:33:04 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your friend is really dumb to think that he's not getting any, believe me he is getting it somewhere else.
Is she paying the rent, cooking, cleaning etc. He's getting SOMETHING out of living with his "girlfriend".
Why would she even want to live with someone who tells her he is turned off? She must be DESPERATE!
2007-02-15 06:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has their own level of sexual need. If your friend does not find his partner attractive he may not want to sleep with her.
2007-02-15 06:35:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is a problem that cant be solved if he is not telling the truth
2007-02-15 06:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by jentn2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋