Is this concept baffling to women?

Question

When I set about a task, I am just interested in getting it done. I am not interested in my wife's opinion about the best way to do it. It isn't an insult to her intelligence or a lack of faith in her ability to do the task herself. I simply don't care how she'd do it. I enjoy doing things my own way.

It doesn't matter if it is building a deck in the back yard, taking my son to the park, or preparing a lasagne for a dinner party; my wife feels the need to chime in with suggestions. If I want my wife's advice on something I will ask her.

Answer 1

I agree with you. I used to do the same thing until my husband finally told me that he didn't need my advice for everything. Now, I wait until he asks to suggest - and usually he doesn't use the advice anyway LOL - which is fine. It doesn't bother me any more. A lot of women just need to be told "I don't need your input right now"

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean. It's like you have a task to get out of the way and now someone else comes along that wants to micromanage how you do it. It's very annoying.

That being said, your homelife might be better if you at least pretend to care what she's saying. Who knows, maybe she'll offer up an idea that will make it easier? Bottom line is letting her flap her gums in the breeze is no sweat off your balls and if it makes her feel better, what's the harm?

Answer 3

I agree....I HATE IT when people offer opinions all of the time, but I'm sure that you're no angel either. People always have a tendency to chime in their opinions about things, usually without even realizing it. So you probably do it to her as well. Regardless, you should talk to her about how you feel. WITHOUT being rude, and preferably not in the moment that it is happening. When you guys are just sitting around doing something else just tell her exactly what you typed on here. I understand what you mean so I'm sure that she will.

Answer 4

like the person above said, listen to her, say yes honey, but i'd rather do it this way. and do it.
and no it is not baffling to women, i am the same way and I know it. Everything I need to do, is going to be done my way and no other way.
It might help her understand if you give her an example, and just sit down and very patiently and politely explain that its not the lack of faith in her ability to do things herself, not insulting the intelligence, its just the type of a person you are. She will understand.

Answer 5

The trouble is, that women would be happy to receive help and advice. They see it as a loving gesture, and in turn, offer it to other people. They dont realize that men see it as insulting or annoying. There is a language barrier between men and women. Women give the kind of love they like to receive, and men do the same, neither one realizing that what the opposite sex perceives as a loving gesture is different. Like... if a woman is having a bad day, the man may listen to her problem and try to fix it, either that or get offended, thinking that she is talking about it because she blames him. When in reality, she really just wants someone to listen. She then takes offense that he wasnt really listening, when actually, he was just showing her the kind of love that he knows how to give. We have to realize that we speak different languages, and learn to give eachother gender-appropriate love, and keep in mind that what a man wants is not necessarily what a woman wants, and vice versa. In the end, you should appreciate that she was trying to help. Its the kind of gesture she would appreciate, and doesnt realize that you feel differently. Invest in the book "men are from mars, women are from venus"

Answer 6

My wife has some good ideas; whether you like it or not it is an insult to her intelligence. Slow your "role", and listen to your wife. Even if you don't learn anything, the investment you're making into your relationship is priceless. My wife often surprises me; she's not only beautiful but she has a good idea now and then.

It's hard to believe that someone who's so good to look at has a brain too.

Answer 7

Everyone has their own way of doing things. And we all enjoy our own way best. When my husband does something around the house, I generally leave him alone, unless he is doing something in a way that I just can't live with. And he does the same with me. Some people are just more opinionated and can't seem to keep it inside. Have you tried explaining to her how much this bothers you? She probably doesn't even know what she is doing or that it irks you so.

Answer 8

You're wife is probably just trying to show an interest in the things you are doing, and this is the only way she can think how. Be open to her advice and thank her for it. It doesn't mean you have to take it.

Answer 9

You sound like your on a power trip and you're gonna do it your way and thats that. Whats wrong with your wifes opinions? Why does it bother YOU so much that she suggests something? If you dont like what she has to say, then dont do it, after all, YOU said she "chimes in w/ SUGGESTIONS". You didnt say she chimes in w/ demands. Theres a difference. Make her feel important and that what she has to say means something to you. Geez, whats the big freaking deal?

Answer 10

Tell her to shut the hell up. At least you are doing something!!!! Tell her that if she can't handle you doing things your way, then you won't do them at all. If it's done properly, what's the big frickin deal! Women are stupid and seem to think that the whole world revolves around them, and that it's their way or the highway.
She needs to read the Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, and The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She'll appreciate you a lot more! It seems to me that she doesn't have any respect for you. Tell her to shape up or you'll ship out! B*tchy, naggy wives are no fun to live with, and men should put their foot down and not put up with this kind of crap.