What do you think of and how do you deal with chronically difficult people and bullies?

Question

I'm reading a book called "Take The Bully By The Horns," and it is giving me great insight about the difference between difficult people (which can be anyone at times) and chronically difficult people and bullies. I find it groundbreaking to actually have a book that clearly states that assertiveness sometimes comes up short when dealing with some people. What's your perspective on bullies?

Answer 1

I find giving them what ever they want (as long as it's legal) is effective. Sounds weird, but I get more control, and power over them when I'm submissive and smart about what I want. Then pow - out of nowhere, I've got the control over them and they don't even know.

Answer 2

I think that there is a residue of that "man's man" mentality that says that we should be "tough". I put that in quotation marks, of course, because bullies don't have a clue what toughness is. If they did, they'd be ashamed to pick on the vulnerable. The sad thing is that men do not have it as easy as women do, because of this residue, and it is evident even in the courts of the Western World. This should be no surprise, since those with legal authority are more resistant to change than most people are. Often they become the bullies, legally threatening the vulnerable who have no lawyers, so that they will accept a deal or just plead guilty. The mentally disabled are especially vulnerable and Amnesty International treats injustices done to them by the courts as a major issue. Often the courts don't get criticized when they should, because the public has grown not to expect anything better. It's not uncommon for authorities to say of the justice system, "It's not perfect, but it's the best we have." I think this is an excuse for complacency. When men are vulnerable, they are less inclined to be 'weak' by complaining. When they're bullied and don't complain, they get to the breaking point and snap. Then they're convicted of crimes. I'm not talking only about those who injure others - even a threat made just to relieve yourself of the abuse will get a man a conviction.

Answer 3

I hate dealing with bullies and difficult people I generally tell them what I think to their face. I try at first to smooth it over, but I can only take so much. I try to avoid them, but that is not always possible. I do need to find a better way of dealing with them. Someone bullying a younger kid or someone who is mentally challenge, I tend to go ballistic on. A light comes on and I let everything loose on a person like that. Sorry.