I love my daughter, but she is the result of an extra marrital affair my ex-wife had. I didnt know until after she was born and after we were divorced. I love this little girl, however, I feel emberassed and fearful. Please help.
2007-02-15 05:29:14 · 13 answers · asked by Surrendered 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she is 3. mom has custody, however, i drive her to daycare and pick her up from daycare every day. Every other weekend we (daughter and I) goto my parents house. Fear is of the unknown. Emberassed by stupidity.
2007-02-15 06:24:04 · update #1
These are all normal feelings in my opnion. You have every right to feel cheated and betrayed. But the important thing is to not take this out on your daughter, She had absolutely nothing to do with your wifes decisions at the time of her conception. Good luck.
BTW, I am also a product of an extramarital affair my mother had while married. Her husband at the time took full responsiblity for me and told my mother I was HIS baby and no one elses. My biological father has never been in my life and I love my dad (the guy my mother was married to, who she cheated on) who later took me from my mother and raised me with his second wife.I have tons of respect for him and I am very thankful he took me. My point is, when your daughter gets to that age and finds out that you are not her biological father, but you took care of her and loved her anyway, she is going to love and respect you that much more. To me that is the greatest gift.
2007-02-15 05:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by babyj248 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you didn't say how old she is and how long you raised her as her father because... in 47 states if you raised her as your daughter, then she's your daughter despite the lying skank that is her mother.
There are 3 states that allow you to petitition to give up child support and make the birth-father responsible, but that doesn't sound like what you want to do anyway.
So... you didn't commit the crime, but you're locked into the financial prison of paying for the kid, but that's OK because you love the child and want to be the father figure.
So where's the problem again?
2007-02-15 13:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you be embarrassed? you are what they call a real father, this little girl knows you love her and nothing that anyone can say or do will change that, Fearful of losing her?
Hopefully your ex can see past herself and know how much your daughter can grow and learn from you. Good luck and know that in your heart and soul your a good dad..
2007-02-15 13:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a good dad is something to be proud of. It is not your fault or hers that she is not your biological daughter. Your ex wife is the one who should be embarassed. Maybe look into seeing if you could adopt her to make sure you keep your legal rights to her and so in the future your daughter will know that you loved her so much that you wanted to be her dad know matter who the sperm donor was. To her that is all he probably will ever be. You are her dad.
2007-02-15 13:47:33 · answer #4 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this makes you a great person and dad, Don't feel embarrassed by this, This a a good thing, but I do see how you could be fearful, Just keep on loving her, see will understand someday, and will never forget just what is was you did for her.God will bless you for what you are doing.
2007-02-15 13:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by babycake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! You were deceived in one of the worst ways possible. You are a good man and still love this little girl. Remember, it is not the child's fault that her Mother cheated on you. Please keep loving her. With a Mother like hers, she will need you for moral guidance.
2007-02-15 13:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by HENRY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who adopt will tell you that they have as much love for the adopted child. Continue to love her. She is your daughter. Why do you know this anyway? Here is a place where technology is not a good thing.
2007-02-15 13:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a nice guy, and I'm sure she needs you. You don't have to be her biological father to be a dad to her. Stick with her, and love her like she is your own. She will always be grateful for that!
2007-02-15 13:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by LP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel embarresed or fearful, as long as your the one raising her, loving her, and caring for her, you are the father that child will see. But it is up to you to make her feel that from you.
2007-02-15 13:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love her then do not be embarrased of her love her as your own..she will know how you feel if you continue this and it will really hurt her allot so be a good guy and except her as your own
2007-02-15 13:37:13 · answer #10 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋