I am so confused yet so sad. I have been dating my now boyfriend for about 5 months and the first 3 months were out of this world. Honestly, we got along as the best of friend, we laughed together and he was there any time I needed him for a shoulder to cry on. I am completely and utterly attracted to the guy. He is honest, sincere, loyal, TRUSTWORTHY, HOT, has a beautiful house, and I KNOW he would be a Wonderful father. If I had the choice of any father for my "imaginary" children it would 150% be him. He is completely real. Although 6 months before we started dating I dated a complete jerk for a year. He was abusive, he was a cop until he got caught for abusing me, all in all short story he ended up getting fired and he is no longer a cop, got caught for DUI, is 35 and cannot keep a girlfriend cause he is a player. Although, he was able to steal my heart my sweet talking me and I ended up very hurt when we broke up - I think he still owns a piece of my heart although I hate him at the same time.
So that being said, this relationship I am in is my 1st non dramatic relationship and I feel as though something is missing. I hate saying what I dont like about him cause it makes me sound ridiculous but I feel like his niceness is too much sometimes, I analyze everything he does. My ex could dress up in a pink tu-tu with one of my bra's and I would have just laughed but honestly if my new beau were to do that I think I would judge him based on it. I still enjoy spending time with him, I enjoy having sex with him and I enjoy relaxing with him but for some reason I dont feel like I love him like I am supposed to. I sometimes get frustrated with how much he kisses me or is all over me but I think I can over it. What I am asking is why is this happening. During the 1st 3 months things became very serious. We moved in together and I was 150% sure I wanted to start my life with him, now I question myself and I dont know why. Is my gut trying to tell me something or am I just not used to having a normal/healthy relationship. If there is anything in this world that I want to work it would be this relationship. I know I could have an incredible life with him. But I feel stressed cause I dont know if this is what love is supposed to feel like?!?!?!
Or could it be because for the past 5 months we have spent EVERY night together. Honestly every night?!?!?! Is there any way we can make this work and KNOW that I am IN LOVE with him?!?!?
2007-02-15 05:16:27 · 6 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
wow your long winded but thanks for all the info!
i think possible you jumped into a relationship with this new guy a little to quick!
your typed more about your ex then you did your current lover!
infact i know more about your ex then your current lover!
yes you still love him you can only see that when you type!
you need to get over him 100% before this new guy will be with you how you want it!
You may have some reversed control issues being in a bad ship like that! you got use to it it was your normal.. so now your brain is going to do everything in it's power to confuse you to think that's how things should be! It is like a habit.. easy to start but hard to break!
just take some time! EXPRESS THIS TO YOU CURRENT LOVER TONITE! not later keep that communication open! he may be able to help you more so then anyone on here!
2007-02-15 05:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me like you are expecting something to go wrong and shatter your delusion of what seems to be the perfect relationship. Some would call this a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If everything appears to be right have you ever consider it's because it IS right?? Why don't you accept the fact that the once-cop is an *** and deserves his reward for his behavior and let the past lie , accept your "now" as a blessing and quit wishing disaster on you and your life. It reminds me of one of my old practices-- "They weary of the calm that know the storm" which translates to being so comfortable in chaos that we can't accept the goodness of a more balanced life and create chaos as a form of comfort-- sounds anti-productive, right?? But it is often true. I recently acepted a job that is the result of trusting God instead of searching on my own and manipulating my way into a job that wasn't meant for me , finding dissatisfaction in it after 6 months and then quitting. God gave me a job that my experience in life will contribute to more than any other job I have had in my ENTIRE work history, all bnecause I am a sober and responsible adult who practices the principles of his recovery-- what is my job?? I am an adolescent Behavioral Healthcarwe Technician--- where else could I possibly find such a job but as a reward to a sober life
2007-02-15 13:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Master Ang Gi Guong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got a strange feeling youre worried about tutu's and your ex boyfriend and the major differences in the past beau and the present one. if you know you could have an incredible life with him...why are you stressed? so ....go....begin your life... it seems like youre worried for having a healthy relationship. peace
2007-02-15 13:25:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say you're not used to a normal relationship. Because it sounds perfectly lovely!
2007-02-15 13:22:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So are you saying you'd like him to smack you around because you're used to it?
2007-02-15 13:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by Fletcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too much to read i have to get back to you on this one
2007-02-15 13:18:48 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋