I'm upset today. I didn't let it get to me yesterday. I'm officially 39, as of Valentine's Day and my b/f of 4 yrs got me 1 rose & 3 cards. That was it. He made it into a game. I found the last card & "gift" aka, the rose, in the car. He says he had to shop 3 stores to find the "perfect" cards. ($10 worth) Every yr he's taken his 3 kids shopping for his x wife's b-day (jan 18, were same age now). The kids get to pick out one card for her each & a gift each. I got a rose & 3 cards. He asked me what I thought of it...duh! It took all I oould do NOT to cry! He said it was the best he could do with out having a lot of money. (the guy just spent $200 on his son's 18th b-day, leaving him $100 for two weeks) I asked him for a gift wrapped in ribbons & bows. For him to take me dancing for my birthday. I found $10 in lottery tickets this morn in his car door & take out food from his lunch yesterday. He's eaten out every day this week. But he had NO money for my birthday/Valentines day gift?
2007-02-15 05:08:19 · 24 answers · asked by HeavenlyAngel 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
My b/f makes over $53,000 a year. We live together for the past 3+ years. He moved into MY house that I bought with my divorce settlement. He drives MY 2004 pacifica to work 5 days a week leaving me with NONE. I have 5 kids of my own to support & I buy for HIS kids too. I also buy his ex groceries & presents b/c I am a firm believer of "do unto others". I bought my b/f a 2006 boat last summer with my income tax refund. For the past 3 weeks I've bought him SEVERAL gifts/cards/meals. I even bought his friends a valentine's gift "from him". (they help him a lot) I make LESS than 25% of what he makes/yr. I have 2 more kids than he has. I have 2 exhusbands that I do NOT buy for. I leave that up to their wives/family. I just wanted him to put some thought into a gift for me. NOTHING expensive! Just thoughtful...like my favorite pop or candy wrapped in pretty bows. He could of done the dishes for me or taken me dancing. I dont drink so the night would be FREE, just the gas 2 get there.
2007-02-15 12:19:32 · update #1
Why are you relying on him? If you want something, take it. Go dancing, buy yourself something you actually want (instead of this fool's best guess). If he can't provide what you need, then provide for yourself instead of going without.
2007-02-15 05:13:50 · answer #1 · answered by Beardog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, If you love him then material things should not matter. It sounds like he put a decent amount of time arranging his little game. Women always say it is the thought that counts and yet when they get a gift like this that is all thought and no present they freak out. It seems pretty dumb of him to spend 200 on his son if he only has 300 for two weeks and even dumber of him to be buying lotto tix if he only has $100 left! Going dancing is a cheap and easy activity though - if he didnt want to do that then he might not really be intent on keeping you happy. Do you do things for him? It has to be a mutual relationship. If he would rather spend $$ on his ex and his kids than you AND you feel the need to rummage around in his car to find things to incriminate him with, then it sounds like you guys are headed down the wrong path.
2007-02-15 13:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
join the club! I thought I was the only one! Funny thing is, we're in the same boat. I'm a year old than you and my boyfriend has 3 kids too! He did not give me a birthday, christmas and valentines day gift. On christmas I bought him a brand new briefcase that was much needed for his work at Wilson's Leather Store. He gave me zilch! So I decided that I will never buy him anything every again. He does the same thing with his kids, spends tons of money on them and even does the mother's day and birthday for his ex-wife from his kids!
Either live with it or go on. I deal with it because I'd rather stick with what I got than search and be single not knowing what is out there and start all over again!
2007-02-15 13:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Alright now. There are two answers to your dilemna/question. The first is this: It IS just Valentines Day and he DID think of you (I got nothing at all, not even a card, so you should feel great!) But despite that, it sounds to me that you are low on his list of priorities, and therefore he might be taking you for granted. Of course I do not know, so I don't want to stir up trouble.
Sometimes it is the thought that counts, not the gift, however. Good luck and be happy you received something, but perhaps on the flip side of the coin, you should reconsider keeping him as a boyfriend who is not putting you first in his life. Happy Valentines Day (late). Happy Birthday, and Happy Holidays in advance!
2007-02-15 13:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by La_Liona 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I so sorry. That's terrible. He should have been more thoughtful. Especially because it was your bday and valentines day. I would be mad too. Why did he buy lottery tickets? Maybe he was thinking it was about being together and showing he loved you not about gifts.
Not that i agree with not getting you something but I do think it was important for him to spend money on his kids. 18 is really important for kids its when they feel like an adult.Also the children dont have money for themselves so it is nice for him to take them out for thier mother. He should have balanced the money between the two of you though and skipped the lottery all together.
2007-02-15 13:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by *Aimzie* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You mean you've been putting up with this for four years?
Your fault, you didn't train him.
You mean this is a new thing?
Then maybe he needs you to identify his bad habits, your feelings, and what you can do to get it straight.
And never, ever try to change a gambler-
I mean-
a man-
without expressing a willingness to work together,
without tellign him that there is a problem to face,
rather than a quality of his that makes him bad.
If he never gets it right, and you leave him, then at least you know you've done the right thing, and the skill will not be wasted when the right man comes along.
Materialistic women were not meant to date single dads,
but you sound not so materialistic, you're like me. You buy into the symbology.
I hear that!
Good luck, honey, and love yourself through everythign life throws at you. That's A-Number-One!
2007-02-15 13:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same relationship 2 years ago...He could have gotten you no cards and at least half a dozen roses..Men don't think twice about the things they do...don't tell him what you found in his car because he will then think that you are going through all of his stuff and that will just add drama but let him know that you feel your realatioship is at the bottom of his list...maybe he will make up for it...
2007-02-15 13:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by silg03 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is sweet that he bought you 3 cards! I have never known a guy to do that before and to 3 different stores!
What have you gotten him for V-day? If nothing, you don't really have a place to complain.
For the lunch thing, start making his lunch for him to take to work. To save him some money to buy you things. :)
Good Luck!
2007-02-15 13:13:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're very materialistic, he got you THREE cards and a rose? Don't you think thats better then nothing? Maybe the three cards mean something, he did get them from 3 different stores. Also you must remember, you aren't his wife, your his girlfriend.
Since you're complaining about the gifts he got you, what did you get him?
2007-02-15 14:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by D.O... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't feel bad. I did not even get a card. And, the kids DID get something.
Same thing at Christmas.
Kind of funny when you think about it. Valentine's Day is supposed to be "for lovers" and the lovers are the ones getting played.
2007-02-15 13:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by laneydoll 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋